Pearls Before Swine by Stephan Pastis for July 08, 2020

Nobody is taking the subway right now.

I CAN! Wait…

Say toy boat fast 5 times!

Here’s an actual warm-up that radio and TV announcers use:

She stood on the balconyinexplicably mimicking him hiccupping,and amicably welcoming him home.

Also try saying this five time without stopping:

Red leather, yellow leather.

(That’s another announcer warm-up.)

I’ll take the bus in 1 hour . Could work ?

That’s really a foreign thought for Rat – He’s so self-centered, it is doubtful he knows what the inside of a subway really looks like except for photoshopped photos.

Well, at least a few dozen, Rat.

Millions? Ha!

What streets do your siblings live on? Main Main Main Main Main.

Mane name five times fast. There, said it.

Say

Theophilis Fissle the successful thistle sifter thrust three thousand thistles thru the thick of his thumb.

See that thou thrust NOT three thousand thistles thru the thick of THY thumb.

Success to the successful thistle sifter!

as fast as you can.

I wasn’t going to even try until I was sure that it wasn’t a setup to a Pastis pun.

I’m not the pheasant plucker or the pheasant plucker’s son, but I can pluck a lot of pheasants ’til the pheasant plucker comes.

The mane, in name, falls plainly with the rain.

Or something.

Then try “an enemy anemone.”

Moses Supposes his toeses are roses but Moses supposes erroneously. Moses should knows his toeses aren’t roses as Moses supposes his toeses to be.

He makes a proper pot of coffee in a copper coffee pot

Millions?

…Ha!..

…and to think it used to be those editorial cartoonists with all the power…

…now, we don’t even have editorials…

…how do you keep a Cartoonist in a car?…

Say “Iced ink” 3 times very fast!

Hey! Look left and then right…if you were in a freshman assembly, none near you voted for that bloated orange dilhole.

Try: Unique New York.

I’m thinking that Rat and Rocket from Guardians of the Galaxy escaped from the same lab.

Sorry, Stephan, that one was easy.

“Peggy Babcock.” Ten times.

Instead of “Hump” day tis “Tongue Twister” day ! Have fun kids ! … Croc Power !

No. No I can not. I can not say it twice fast, never mind 5 times.

Rubber baby buggy bumpers…

One smart fellow, he felt smart.

One smart fellow, he felt smart. Two smart fellows, they felt smart. Three smart fellows, they all felt smart. 3 x fast. Good luck.

Rubber baby buggy bumpers…

My favorite race horse: Hoof Hearted

Don’t forget “city shellfish” either, folks…

Wait, Rat’s trick DID work! That is literally exactly what I did.

“I’m not a fig plucker, nor a fig plucker’s son, but I’ll pluck figs till the fig plucker comes.”

Mane name, mane name, mane name, mane name, mane name.

I did it! That’s not difficult. Try Fifth Third five times fast.

Mane name in inane!

As soon as Rat thought about them, Goat, be assured that he would abuse!

LOLOLOLOLOLOL!

I made it to 4, but then got tongue tied.

In Denmark we said: jeg plukker brugt frugt med en brugt frugtplukker

The name game. Chuck! Chuck, Chuck. Bo-buck, bo-na-na fannaFo-Fu……

Everybody on the subways are wearing masks.

Okay, I admit that I did it right after reading the first panel. After the second panel, I felt used.

Fortunately I went on reading before trying it myself.

Again, Rat the jerk as a signpost on our ‘return to normalcy’.

What’s Rat’s main aim here?

“Toy Boat” is harder.

I miss the crocs.

Pastis is messing with my mind! ….and i like it.

Good thing he didn’t pick a word like prepare. That would have really spread the virus

The rain in Spain, stays mainly on the plain…..plane,

HA! Im in my private office!

Thanks, now I’ve a Little Drummer Boy ear-worm.

I probably could but because Rat brought it up I think I’ll pass.

grrrrr

She sells seashells by the seashore…

You win the day rat. You win the day.

You b*stard, Rat!

“Mane name, mane name, doo doo de-doo-doo.

Mane name, mane name, doo doo doo doo…”

“I will not say a thing like that.

I will not say it with a Rat.

I will not say it with a Goat.

I will not thus abuse my throat."

—Pardon me, I believe I suffered a Seuss seizure.

What good are Comic Strip Powers if you don’t use them? Go for it, Rat!

Mane name….

say trump five times without puking (but don’t say it in front of a mirror in the dark or he might appear)

Could we please stop with the Far Side promo pop ups already?

I wish I’d read the 2nd panel before falling into the trap…

I resisted.

Why not have them say “Lou Sir” or “Mo Lester” 5 times on the subway? That will get people looking!

How many people just said “five times fast” once and laughed?

I can! No one was around to hear it except my cats, though, and they’re unimpressed.

That’s inane.

got me. sigh…

Oooooh evil Pastis!

My youth pastor: “How much fudd could a fuddrucker ruck if a fuddrucker could ruck fudd? A fuddrucker would ruck all the fudd he could ruck if a fuddrucker could ruck fudd.”

Gosh we loved that guy in high school.

And not one mention of “sheet slitter.” Well, until now.

Personally, my favorite tongue twister is Grip Top Sock …

https://www.edgestudio.com/script/12699

Every time Rat has the last word, I think of the theme song to “Beetlejuice”….

i didnt do it so ha

Am I the only one who tried?

wow rat got smarts

Who got got by that?

Ha! I can say antidish… antidissipl… antidisestablelish… forget it.