Non Sequitur by Wiley Miller for January 19, 2022

Look on the bright side

You had the bedroom fun, Billy has to pay to raise it

Dilbert became Bill Gates’ pool boy.

You can have your kid back if you upgrade to Windows 11.

It would be a more honest representation of how our lives are currently controlled..we are pretty close to the corporate nation-state anyway. I’m fully expecting the “Shadowrun” conceit of people basically pledge to corps from cradle-to-grave in return for education, work, and living accommodations..just not with the modern Elves and other fantasy tropes roaming around.

That’s only for girls. It’s the only way they could figure out how to sexually harass them with all those pesky lawsuits. Of course, the down side is that they have to wait 18 years until it’s not child molesting, now that Jeffrey Epstein is dead.

Well as long as Microsoft is paying for all the Maintenance and other upkeep for the next 20 years. I don’t see the problem. If they are doing that then I can afford the Dozen Roses, Box of good chocolates, and week at a spa for the wife to cover her “Pain and aggravation” that she suffered on their behalf.

Yup! When a software update leads to an hardware malfunction.

Pretty good timing seeing as how Microsoft just announced they reached an agreement to purchase Activision Blizzard for $70 billion in cash.

With few exceptions, if you want to use the product they don’t really give you a choice to disagree with the agreement.

True story

Not one customer of online computer game seller Gamestation read the terms and conditions of sale on 1st April, the company has said. In an April Fools’ Day prank, it has claimed the legal right to the souls of all those customers.

https://www.pinsentmasons.com/out-law/news/nobody-reads-terms-and-conditions-its-official

If you don’t hit the “agree” button before sex, then there is no sex.

https://www.foxnews.com/tech/7500-online-shoppers-unknowingly-sold-their-souls

Children, a whole lot more fun making them than raising them.

And you must name your first child EULA.

If only it were that easy

No problem. It’s only the firstborn.

Then they have such legal gobbly-gook that the Supreme Court would have difficulty interpreting it.

According to my understanding the user agreement for Office 365 states that anything you develop using Word, Excel, etc. becomes the property of Microsoft.

The only unbelievable part of this is that Microsoft actually wants your screaming crotch goblins.

They actually do claim a proprietary level of control over the hardware you own if you use their spyware-ridden OS. That’s why I use Linux.

Not to be overly dramatic, but most companies, governments and other large enterprises usually fall by rotting from within.

What is aggravating is constantly being pushed into a new phase of whatever by companies that cut off service and updates for software or procedures that are satisfactory as they are. Same for merchandise et alia.

Your original phone that you liked – gone. PC software that fills your need – gone. Auto you enjoyed driving and could repair – gone. Clothing that fit and lasted more than 2 washings before mfg went offshore – gone. All replaced by the next big thing. Being herded has become a way of life, even for independent minds.

Rough translation of T&C: You don’t own the software, it might work, it might destroy your computer; in any case, we can sell any of your personal information that is entered and we owe you nothing.

Cheaper than DISNEY!

They are working on “organic” memory so possibly…

Is Mrs Garrett overseeing this?

And with their usual lax security you can never tell if the updates were snuck in from another developer.

You know, this could work out well. The kid will still call you dad, and your wife, mommy, all the while Microsoft gets the bill. And if the young adult you end up with ends up working for Microsoft, what’s the harm?

Ummm. . . Microsoft? One of your kids just upchucked on your laptop. Turns out you did not get the puke proof upgrade.

Always hated Microsoft, but I realize one of their problems is they have so many PC builders with different parts to content with. That’s why I can’t update the software. With Apple I can always get the updates.

The kid will grow up to lead a hostile takeover of a big computer company.

first born? I always thought μSoft took an arm and a leg first…

Which one’s Blizzard?

Oh, come on people! This strip was just ripe for a Microsoft Bob joke. I am not MS-savvy enough to make one, but it was right there for the taking.

The kid’ll be working on Windows 13 someday.

with just a few changes that you will appreciate…. that we won’t explain…

I loved the episode of “South Park” in which Steve Jobs revealed that the Apple EULA allowed him to sew one of the boys into the middle of a human-caterpillar chain.

End stage of “The Great Reset”. It’s coming if we don’t wake up NOW.

Oh good. No diapers to change, no midnight feedings.

Could be worse, could be EA

and when you’re lost your password you have lost your soul to the endless gyrations of the company store. Your fate will still be unlearned as the simple password that won’t ever return.

It’s the Witcher surprise.

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MS-NFW……..

It also gives them power of attorney over you.

I’m glad I usually decline all of their suggestions unless I can see some real value for myself.

What is Microsoft going to do with a bunch of babies? They are expensive to feed and care for and they can’t put them to work for years.

well, we’re not quite there YET…

What would Microsoft want with YOUR kid anyway?

But, the Even Finer Print says that you still have to pay for their College.

With all the miles of stuff they want you to read, for all I know I’ve sold out my kid and grandkids….