Pearls Before Swine by Stephan Pastis for May 15, 2024

Like Rat can afford this house.

Rat’s just jealous because he’s never the master in the bedroom.

Well BEDroom may be too sexy real soon now.

In 2015 I said to my electrician you won’t be allowed to use that term soon.

Goat sold Rat’s house.

Listed for cheap, ended in a bidding war. Goat is retiring.

With that yellow dress shirt Goat is dressed like Dwight Schrute in “The Office”.

The Master?

Hm. Some even have a master’s degree.

Welp, Rat’s back to normal. Good while it lasted.

It is just a word, it doesn’t matter. The bedroom doesn’t change. Just like us, from the master race. You may call us superior race now if you find master offensive. Overlords, Almightys are also acceptable as we are very open minded and tolerant to our inferi… sorry, less fortunate companions.

It’s now referred to as the “Primary Bedroom”.

Funny and sad at the same time.

Does this mean the term ‘master’ will be banished from the recording industry as well?

Rat just loves messing things up.

Rat is only happy in a rat’s nest!

If Goat was selling a houseboat, would the guy in charge of cleaning its toilets be called the head master?

What to call Dr. Who’s nemesis?

What’s a poor Igor to do?

Perhaps it had something to do with the decor, all the whips, chains and leather.

The problem isn’t that some terms aren’t allowed, it’s that machines without brains are making the decisions, and don’t know the difference between vulgar and clean.

Is there a mistress bedroom? Oh wait, never mind.

Next they will tell me I can’t have slave quarters.

Very Masterful Stephen.

Heh, way to stir up the right-wing rage Pastis. As if they weren’t perpetually peed off about something already.

I’m currently buying a house. SO told me it is now the “primary” bedroom, so I have to remember to call it “master” as a litmus test for thinking people.

Many years ago I asked the world if it could become more idiotic.

It replied that I’ve not seen anything yet…

The term “Master-Slave” is still widely used when talking about JK Flip Flop digital circuits.

Since people don’t work on their cars anymore, mechanics can still use the term Master brake cylinder and slave cylinder.

We refer to it now as the Mistress bedroom?!

What will they call those top-level golf tournaments?

What else is it called in his TARDIS?

I’m looking for two unconsciousness-room, two ablutions-room house with an open floor plan and boring-beige decor in an area with strong cash reserves.

It doesn’t help that the house is built on an old plantation

Go to hell.

No puns on “National Pun Day”?? I am disappointed!

You mean I can no longer refer to fishermen as master baiters?

Master is also used to refer to the main or leading position in skills, as an expert, or as the top position achieved. To see it as a racial slur is racist in itself if one cannot see it beyond applied in the other contexts.

Rectification

I don’t have a MASTER’S degree, but I do master bate in my master bedroom or the master bath. I would gladly help you with your master-cylinder. I had a fishing boat and I was the masterbaiter on it also.Abe Lincoln wouldn’t have a chance against Mr/President Donald J. Trump. There was always a boat headed back to Europe in the hey day. There are boats and planes, which I would help fare the tickets.

Goat sure looks cute all dressed up like that.

“Master” is cancelled? So now what to we call the best chess players on Earth?

At boarding school, we were required to call the head of the dorm by the title Master. There was a rumor circulating that the current master was going to be replaced with someone with the last name Bates.

Language isn’t controlled by any group despite what the woke think. It’s controlled by the speakers. Not using “master bedroom” may stick, but I very much doubt it.

It’s what I do, Master.

Engineering is full of instances of master-slave relationships among components and systems. Will they have to change to PC-correct dominant-submissive? And why is it that that would be somehow better?

Banned books and reason for banning:1. “Gender Queer” : graphic novel features a picture of oral sex being performed on a sex toy. It also contains an X-rated passage.2. “This Book Is Gay”: provides a how-to guide to find strangers for sex on gay sex apps.3. “Out of Darkness”: contains a rape. 4. “l8r g8r”: contains discussions of oral sex. 5. “All Boys Aren’t Blue”: contains underage incest. 6. “It’s Perfectly Normal”: contains drawings of children masturbating. 7. “Lawn Boy”: contains a passage about 10-year-old boys performing oral sex on each other. 8. “Jack of Hearts”: talks about a condom that is “covered in s—-.” 9. “Crank” details a meth-fueled rape. 10. “Lucky”: also details a rape. 11. “A Court of Mist and Fury,”: contains an extremely explicit sexual passage.When parents have tried to read passages from some of these books found in elementary school libraries at school board meetings their microphones were turned off, they were expelled from the meetings, threatened with prosecution and investigated by the FBI.

Woke is a term for white saviorists who compete for the right to abase themselves for crimes neither they nor their ancestors committed but were committed by people who shared some chromosomes.

In programming, even the term client/server is being deprecated. It’s weird, today’s black college attendees apparently are expected to go weak at the knees over “master bedroom” while their grandparents faced down police dogs and firehoses.

One wonders how Metallica should rebrand their song (and album) Master of Puppets while still retaining the proper imagery and sound?

My sports car is apparently racist. The hydraulic clutch has bott a Master Cylinder and a Slave Cylinder.

Weighing in on this just because feeling ornery: instead of all those other terms, why not just call it being kind. Is that a bad thing?

Wise up people, banning word, books, speech, and whatever else offends your sensibilities, isn’t going to help you or anyone else.

Ahh the “right”… the lefts forever strawman

WOKE: Willingly Overlooking Known Evil

260 comments. I can feel the heat from up here.

At least you won’t be blacklisted for saying “master,” as black- and white- lists have been banned. About a year ago, I saw a software release in which the only change was changing all the variable names for blacklist and whitelist to other names.

“Master” is a banned term?

And then there’s the Yeti: Abominable Snowperson

No one can ever be called mister again. Or missus, as its a derivative.

That doesn’t excuse the fact that they are still domineering, intolerant, and narrow-minded.