The Jatravartids believe that the Universe was sneezed out of the Great Green Arkleseizure’s nose. From the Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy by Douglas Adams
As a kid, I once said I thought that dinosaurs were extinct because they were too big to fit on the Ark. That hypothesis got me in trouble in science class and in Sunday school both.
This recalls Kurt Vonnegut’s concept of alien technology powered by “a phenomenon known as UWTB, or the Universal Will to Become. UWTB is what makes universes out of nothingness—that makes nothingness insist on becoming somethingness.” That unfortunate creature must have “put some in his chewing gum/ Cosmic meddling seldom pays” That creature’s now six new Milky Ways.
“Though religion may be that which determines the goal [attainment unto truth and understanding], it has, nevertheless, learned from science, in the broadest sense, what means will contribute to the attainment of the goals it has set up. But science can only be created by those who are thoroughly imbued with the aspiration toward truth and understanding. This source of feeling, however, springs from the sphere of religion. To this there also belongs the faith in the possibility that the regulations valid for the world of existence are rational, that is, comprehensible to reason. I cannot conceive of a genuine scientist without that profound faith."
I don’t remember the title or author, but there was a SF short-short story about a discussion between a teacher and a parent about the problems with the week long science project by young godling Jehovah.
Danae’s story is just as good as all the dung we’d been fed through the ages by greedy selfish basturds.
Say, anyone got special plans for tomorrow? My little town is having a parade. Theme is Suckers and Losers . Can’t march this year, bone-spurs flared up again. Sad.
Ever wonder if our Universe is perhaps just the size of that flea on the a#s of big old bear roaming around in a forest on another planet in something much bigger than our universe?
As I keep saying: Repeating something doesn’t make it true.
Brief bumper sticker slogans are incomplete and open to intrepretation, like a wax nose, they can be bent to mean anything true, false or irrelevant. For example:
Science (not “scientism”) is a set of observable repeatable facts. The nuclear fusion of a star is science. The origin of the universe (Big Bang, Quantum fluctuation, inter-universe portal, etc.) is not science. It can’t be repeated.
History is a set of critical conclusions that subscribes to established facts, observations, physical laws and other evidence. Description of a car accident is history, not science. It’s not observable repeatable. The life of Abraham Lincoln is well established history, with some possible myth. The life is Jesus Christ is well established history, with some possible myth.. It is backed by eye witness testimony within their lifetime, both believers and non-believers and is not contradicted by archeological, political or other biographical records.
Religion is a set of beliefs that has varying correlation with history and science. Greek mythology has almost no correlation with history and scientific observation. Christianity has a high corrleation with history (e.g., Luke has been a successful guide to archeology in Palestine, Roman, Egyptian and Babylonian artifacts have backed up Biblical statements)
When it comes to class reports, Danae and Caulfield are on parallel tracks.
Yes, Danae’s teacher and Mrs. Olsen, and other comic teachers all seem to be mostly gray haired and ‘experienced’ in tolerating what passes for student interpretations of material for reports. They also usually retired with water on the elbow they lean on while asking themselves, ‘Why didn’t I enlist as a WAC when I had the chance? By now, I could have been a general with a good pension."
No more insane than the people that think humans were evolved at the time of the dinosaurs. Or is it that they think millions of years of evolution happened in 6,000?
One thing for sure, things are going to get far more stupid and far more cruel in short order. Hate crime is already up.
Only those that want to be lawless would vote for one of the worst humans to have ever walked the earth.
Ladies that voted for this stupid show, better be prepared to have your property seized within 10 years, as they will bring back laws forbidding women to own property. That goes for you too rich ladies. Wealthy incompetent men want your wealth, and if this doesn’t get stopped by the midterms, it could become reality.
Again far too many voters do their research after the fact. They really should have looked into the Republican’s Make American’s Grovel Again 2025 agenda. Kind of like how so many that voted for Brexit did the same thing. Now finding that they can’t stay at their retirement homes in other European countries full time anymore. Duh.
Kind of wish I hadn’t spent most of my left over pounds on my last trip. One of the things the Repubs have been wanting to do is devalue the dollar, so that they can devalue their workforce. Enjoy your temporary ‘cheap’ fuel and grocery prices, because in less than four years you are going to find the price you paid for that, will be great.
I just hope the majority of our military will remain honorable and refuse illegal orders, even if it means being arrested by those willing to serve dishonorably.
I’ve been around for a while and I’ve noticed several things: I’m not sure anything is impossible, it may be exceedingly rare but not impossible. If that is so, then there is nothing that rules out the existence of a god or gods (although the Hindus may have gone a bit overboard with 100+gods). Religion is the equivalent of “The Hollywood Reporter,” breathlessly reporting on the comings, goings, and affairs of the gods.
Nobody has come up with a theory as to why the Big Bang happened, or how the universe was the size of pea before it exploded and expanded into the universe today, but perhaps someone will someday.
Too many people confuse religion with faith, or “the church” with religion, or a particular church (denomination) as being “the church”. We think too much of ourselves when we try to think about it too much, and that’s when we cause problems and division instead of just being decent to everyone.
God exists as the God and the Creator, as there has to be something outside of understanding that COULD exist before there was anything else that did exist. Even if the “Big Bang” started the universe, there had to be something that made the material for that, as well as to give it the kick to go bang. Something outside of science did the impossible and was able to make “something” out of nothing. “Everything has a starting point, except for the thing that started everything”.
As a devout atheist, I know what I believe, but I have no problem letting believers say or use science as the method He/She/It used to create the Universe. That’s as easy or hard to prove as any other theory.
ACtually, there is a complete union of science and religion. God gives us all reason and free will. Free will to search for truth through reason. Faith and Reason go hand in hand.
“Religion is regarded by the common people as true, by the wise as false, and by the rulers as useful.” — Lucius Annaeus Seneca
“The ‘Flying Spaghetti Monster’ was first described in a satirical open letter written by Bobby Henderson in 2005 to protest the Kansas State Board of Education decision to permit teaching intelligent design as an alternative to evolution in state school science classes. In the letter, Henderson demanded equal time in science classrooms for ‘Flying Spaghetti Monsterism’, alongside intelligent design and evolution. After Henderson published the letter on his website, the Flying Spaghetti Monster rapidly became an Internet phenomenon and a symbol of opposition to the teaching of intelligent design in state schools.
“Pastafarian tenets (generally satires of creationism) are presented on Henderson’s Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster website (where he is described as ‘prophet’), and are also elucidated in The Gospel of the Flying Spaghetti Monster, written by Henderson in 2006, and in The Loose Canon, the Holy Book of the Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster. The central creation myth is that an invisible and undetectable Flying Spaghetti Monster created the universe after drinking heavily.” —Wikipedia article on Flying Spaghetti Monster
Note that there is exactly as much evidence Danae’s version of Creation as there is for the FSM’s version or the Christian version. (i.e., none)
einarbt 4 days ago
I see Danae leading a big cult in the future.
Hello Everyone 4 days ago
I prefer Danae’s version!
Need coffee 4 days ago
Nice try, though.
Bilan 4 days ago
If the Elf had any doubts remaining, he now knows which list to put Danae on.
The dude from FL Premium Member 4 days ago
I think science and religion work just fine together
Scorpio Premium Member 4 days ago
I’ll be honest – i’ve seen worse ideas.
kendavis09 4 days ago
Now we know what killed off the unicorns.
John M 4 days ago
The Jatravartids believe that the Universe was sneezed out of the Great Green Arkleseizure’s nose. From the Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy by Douglas Adams
lalapalooza Premium Member 4 days ago
oh my gosh, Danae’s teacher looks alot like Calvin’s teacher!
bobpeters61 4 days ago
As a kid, I once said I thought that dinosaurs were extinct because they were too big to fit on the Ark. That hypothesis got me in trouble in science class and in Sunday school both.
PraiseofFolly 4 days ago
This recalls Kurt Vonnegut’s concept of alien technology powered by “a phenomenon known as UWTB, or the Universal Will to Become. UWTB is what makes universes out of nothingness—that makes nothingness insist on becoming somethingness.” That unfortunate creature must have “put some in his chewing gum/ Cosmic meddling seldom pays” That creature’s now six new Milky Ways.
Kurt Vonnegut, “The Sirens of Titan”
dot-the-I 4 days ago
A. Einstein’s attempted bridge:
“Though religion may be that which determines the goal [attainment unto truth and understanding], it has, nevertheless, learned from science, in the broadest sense, what means will contribute to the attainment of the goals it has set up. But science can only be created by those who are thoroughly imbued with the aspiration toward truth and understanding. This source of feeling, however, springs from the sphere of religion. To this there also belongs the faith in the possibility that the regulations valid for the world of existence are rational, that is, comprehensible to reason. I cannot conceive of a genuine scientist without that profound faith."
(Though this view has been ably critiqued.)
dflak 4 days ago
As I keep saying:
Religion is a system of beliefs based on faith.
Science is a system of beliefs based on evidence.
To attempt to use the basis of one system to confirm or refute the other is an exercise in futility.
Binary thinkers believe that only one of these systems can be “true” and that they must contradict each other.
Nebulous Premium Member 4 days ago
I don’t remember the title or author, but there was a SF short-short story about a discussion between a teacher and a parent about the problems with the week long science project by young godling Jehovah.
Redd Panda 4 days ago
Danae’s story is just as good as all the dung we’d been fed through the ages by greedy selfish basturds.
Say, anyone got special plans for tomorrow? My little town is having a parade. Theme is Suckers and Losers . Can’t march this year, bone-spurs flared up again. Sad.
Sprarklin 4 days ago
Scientific proof that smoking is bad for you.
Funniguy 4 days ago
Ever wonder if our Universe is perhaps just the size of that flea on the a#s of big old bear roaming around in a forest on another planet in something much bigger than our universe?
goboboyd 4 days ago
It seems there must be alternate universes to keep late night radio alive, so why not?
christelisbetty 4 days ago
What ever was before what we know exists, is what I call God.
DagNabIt! 4 days ago
As I keep saying: Repeating something doesn’t make it true.
Brief bumper sticker slogans are incomplete and open to intrepretation, like a wax nose, they can be bent to mean anything true, false or irrelevant. For example:
Science (not “scientism”) is a set of observable repeatable facts. The nuclear fusion of a star is science. The origin of the universe (Big Bang, Quantum fluctuation, inter-universe portal, etc.) is not science. It can’t be repeated.
History is a set of critical conclusions that subscribes to established facts, observations, physical laws and other evidence. Description of a car accident is history, not science. It’s not observable repeatable. The life of Abraham Lincoln is well established history, with some possible myth. The life is Jesus Christ is well established history, with some possible myth.. It is backed by eye witness testimony within their lifetime, both believers and non-believers and is not contradicted by archeological, political or other biographical records.
Religion is a set of beliefs that has varying correlation with history and science. Greek mythology has almost no correlation with history and scientific observation. Christianity has a high corrleation with history (e.g., Luke has been a successful guide to archeology in Palestine, Roman, Egyptian and Babylonian artifacts have backed up Biblical statements)
DagNabIt! 4 days ago
Sorry. Problems with GoComics. Had to rewrite above twice and realized I was getting too long. Anyway, you get the drift.
thetroms 4 days ago
This Big Bang Theory wouldn’t fly in Oklahoma would it.
RussHeim 4 days ago
This is how it happened, and it’s in the Bible. Inanities 3:21.
sandpiper 4 days ago
When it comes to class reports, Danae and Caulfield are on parallel tracks.
Yes, Danae’s teacher and Mrs. Olsen, and other comic teachers all seem to be mostly gray haired and ‘experienced’ in tolerating what passes for student interpretations of material for reports. They also usually retired with water on the elbow they lean on while asking themselves, ‘Why didn’t I enlist as a WAC when I had the chance? By now, I could have been a general with a good pension."
GiantShetlandPony 4 days ago
No more insane than the people that think humans were evolved at the time of the dinosaurs. Or is it that they think millions of years of evolution happened in 6,000?
One thing for sure, things are going to get far more stupid and far more cruel in short order. Hate crime is already up.
Only those that want to be lawless would vote for one of the worst humans to have ever walked the earth.
Ladies that voted for this stupid show, better be prepared to have your property seized within 10 years, as they will bring back laws forbidding women to own property. That goes for you too rich ladies. Wealthy incompetent men want your wealth, and if this doesn’t get stopped by the midterms, it could become reality.
Again far too many voters do their research after the fact. They really should have looked into the Republican’s Make American’s Grovel Again 2025 agenda. Kind of like how so many that voted for Brexit did the same thing. Now finding that they can’t stay at their retirement homes in other European countries full time anymore. Duh.
Kind of wish I hadn’t spent most of my left over pounds on my last trip. One of the things the Repubs have been wanting to do is devalue the dollar, so that they can devalue their workforce. Enjoy your temporary ‘cheap’ fuel and grocery prices, because in less than four years you are going to find the price you paid for that, will be great.
I just hope the majority of our military will remain honorable and refuse illegal orders, even if it means being arrested by those willing to serve dishonorably.
Godfreydaniel 4 days ago
“And the NEXT day…..”
baskate_2000 4 days ago
Danae continues in her own little world.
johnschutt 4 days ago
So, this denies the fact that there was NO THING before the big bang. It’s anti-science.
Bruce1253 4 days ago
I’ve been around for a while and I’ve noticed several things: I’m not sure anything is impossible, it may be exceedingly rare but not impossible. If that is so, then there is nothing that rules out the existence of a god or gods (although the Hindus may have gone a bit overboard with 100+gods). Religion is the equivalent of “The Hollywood Reporter,” breathlessly reporting on the comings, goings, and affairs of the gods.
unfair.de 4 days ago
I like the explosion. Very bang-y.
mindjob 4 days ago
Nobody has come up with a theory as to why the Big Bang happened, or how the universe was the size of pea before it exploded and expanded into the universe today, but perhaps someone will someday.
ncorgbl 4 days ago
Science is quite simply the study and discovery of how HE did it.
Daltongang Premium Member 4 days ago
The moral of the story here, is “Never have a smoke after eating Chico’s Taco’s.” If you have ever been to El Paso, you know what I mean.
IndyW 4 days ago
I’ll buy that theory, best one so far.
Mist is gone 4 days ago
Science is nothing but man’s inquiry and discovery of how God created the universe.
Old27F20 4 days ago
…and the thoughts in the teacher’s mind “oh lord, please let me out of this nut house!”
David_J Premium Member 4 days ago
I was about 11 or 12 when I realized I preferred science over religion. Still do. Thank the goddesses.
KEA 3 days ago
and getting wider every day it seems.
L L 3 days ago
Too many people confuse religion with faith, or “the church” with religion, or a particular church (denomination) as being “the church”. We think too much of ourselves when we try to think about it too much, and that’s when we cause problems and division instead of just being decent to everyone.
God exists as the God and the Creator, as there has to be something outside of understanding that COULD exist before there was anything else that did exist. Even if the “Big Bang” started the universe, there had to be something that made the material for that, as well as to give it the kick to go bang. Something outside of science did the impossible and was able to make “something” out of nothing. “Everything has a starting point, except for the thing that started everything”.
mistercatworks 3 days ago
Well, the Universe was filled with hydrogen at the time. :)
DaBump Premium Member 3 days ago
LOL nice try, but there are several ways it has been done.
leemorse9777 3 days ago
As a devout atheist, I know what I believe, but I have no problem letting believers say or use science as the method He/She/It used to create the Universe. That’s as easy or hard to prove as any other theory.
ktrabbit 3 days ago
If anyone would enjoy a bit of outhouse humor, look up;
The Three Bares by Robert W. Service
Another good one is;
The Passing of the Back House by James Whitcomb Riley
Free or Not? Premium Member 3 days ago
ACtually, there is a complete union of science and religion. God gives us all reason and free will. Free will to search for truth through reason. Faith and Reason go hand in hand.
eddi-TBH 3 days ago
Nice try Danae. It’s closer to the truth than most guesses.
eddi-TBH 3 days ago
aka The Big Outhouse Boom.
cherns Premium Member 3 days ago
“Religion is regarded by the common people as true, by the wise as false, and by the rulers as useful.” — Lucius Annaeus Seneca
“The ‘Flying Spaghetti Monster’ was first described in a satirical open letter written by Bobby Henderson in 2005 to protest the Kansas State Board of Education decision to permit teaching intelligent design as an alternative to evolution in state school science classes. In the letter, Henderson demanded equal time in science classrooms for ‘Flying Spaghetti Monsterism’, alongside intelligent design and evolution. After Henderson published the letter on his website, the Flying Spaghetti Monster rapidly became an Internet phenomenon and a symbol of opposition to the teaching of intelligent design in state schools.
“Pastafarian tenets (generally satires of creationism) are presented on Henderson’s Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster website (where he is described as ‘prophet’), and are also elucidated in The Gospel of the Flying Spaghetti Monster, written by Henderson in 2006, and in The Loose Canon, the Holy Book of the Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster. The central creation myth is that an invisible and undetectable Flying Spaghetti Monster created the universe after drinking heavily.” —Wikipedia article on Flying Spaghetti Monster
Note that there is exactly as much evidence Danae’s version of Creation as there is for the FSM’s version or the Christian version. (i.e., none)
keenanthelibrarian 3 days ago
I would suggest the gap will always be there – unless you’re a Jesuit.
lnrokr55 2 days ago
Funny ! Thanks for being silly on Sunday ! ;-)
Johnny on the Spot 1 day ago
I believe Danae’s Theory explains many things.
[Unnamed Reader - 14b4ce] about 9 hours ago
The Earth was created by a fart explosion?
Creative, but I’d like to t hink it isn’t so.