Breaking Cat News by Georgia Dunn for July 09, 2020

Oh no! Not the July bug!

It comes by night…

Either all h*ck is about to break loose…or we’ll have a resounding “meh” from all too-hot-to-move sides.

Puck should be old enough by now to know better: things can always get worse.

Jules! (Never tempt fate Puck. Haven’t you learned that by now?)

Now it’s an orange popsicle which will definitely clash with the big pink couch!

Here comes July bug

Hi, Jules!

I wondered if the July Bug would show up in this storyline. I think this is his kind of weather.

DUNN DUNN DUNNNNNNNNNN!!! Enter the July Bug. Weaver of mischief and winger of mayhem! Mwahahaha! :D

… It’s worse.

Well, first it was shocking news. Now they’re Buggered.

Yay, it’s Jules! I have yet to see a June or July bug this year. Maybe they’ll be August bugs…(Gus?)

All the small hairs on the body standing on end because of the electricity in the air. Longer hair doing its own uncontrollable thing. Cats freaking out because of all the above. Sticky sweat that can not be cured by a shower. And now a fast moving bug that adores dive bombing. Yep… this is going to be “fun”. :)

June bug or giant spider?

He’s back! They’re doomed!

I note that Elvis does not seem to share the crankiness. Perhaps because he’s always at his limit.

“The worst is not when we can say this is tje worst” King Lear Act IV

Since the Golden Mouse Saga will never appear in newspaper format, Jule’s heroic role in saving Alice from The Wicked will remain untold! For the few who may not have discovered it yet, it begins here:

https://www.gocomics.com/breaking-cat-news/2016/06/20

I really don’t know what a June but is.

Okay, I’m falling in love with Puck.

Well well. They all might be hot and cranky, but I am in a great mood because it is after midnight in my timezone, and that means I am now officially 35 years old. I still feel like a young whippersnapper compared to most of you guys, though! LOL.

And also I suppose I’m lucky that while my hair tends to have a mind of its own, it at least never seems to misbehave when it’s hot and humid.

Who do I see in that last panel? Coming in with a crash and a BOOM!? Hilarious….the whole ‘toon! The people and Puck …so insulted and cranky! And just when you think it can’t get any worse it does!

“The Long Hot Days of Summer.”

And that spider that escaped earlier this year could also come back, team up with Jules and join the party !

Upper midwest US. It was 92 yesterday afternoon and is 83 at 5 am now. Thunderstorms due this afternoon. Thank goodness for a/c plus a backup generator at need! Small furry hot water bottle in lap right now.

Hey I woke up early enough to be the first to say it: Pucky white floof patch sighting!

It’s after midnight

And something evil’s hanging on the screen

By crashin’ lights

You see a bug that’s almost comical not mean

You try to scream

But disgust takes the sound before you make it

Night’s gotten worse

As horror looks you right between the eyes

You’re feelin’ cursed

’Cause Jules is still here, back here tonight

And no one’s gonna save you from that turd about to strike

You know his thriller, chiller flight

He thinks he’ll “Fly Like an Eagle” a la Steve Miller tonight, yeah

Songwriter: Rodney Lynn Temperton

Thriller – Michael Jackson

Could it be?..

It is!

It’s July, People of the Orb!

8D

Not completely OT, prairie bloom update.

CENTRAL AIR CONDITIONING

I’d be in the shower. At least it would be some relief. And then put on some Menthol Gold Bond Body Powder.

Uh oh, July Bug!

The Meese and I

King Elvis: That was such a lovely banquet. Bea, Tommy, and all the staff did us proud.

Queen Goldie: Yes. And I remember a banquet not so long ago. I was a homeless cat who somehow was invited to the Royal Banquet. There I met a young prince, who was as strong as a pirate and as graceful as a ballet dancer.

King Elvis: Yes. You were so beautiful, and had such an attitude. I had to go up to you right away and ask:

Shall we dance?

(Goldie: 1, 2, 3 and)

Shall we trip the light fantastic?

(Goldie: I just tripped)

Shall we fly?

(Goldie: 1, 2, 3 and)

Shall we dance?

Shall we dance

And show all the others, don’t be shy?

And perchance

When the guests have all gone home to nap

Shall we still be together

Sharing a bowl of kibble,

And shall we run at 2 am?

On the clear understanding

That this kind of thing can happen

Shall we dance?

Shall we dance?

Shall we dance?

King Elvis: And you learned to dance so beautifully.

Queen Goldie: Did you hear something?

King Elvis: Yes, all the kittens have finished cleaning up. What could it be?

Small Siamese kitten comes out from behind curtain.

Queen Goldie: Why, it’s Tammy!* Why aren’t you with the kittens?

Tammy: I just find them so scary.

Queen Goldie: Aren’t they nice to you?

Tammy: Yes, but I’m just so shy and scared.

King Elvis: It is time you learned the way of the Siamese!

*I took the liberty of naming the Shelter Stories kitten Tammy.

I recall these days and nights well in my youth. In a way I miss them. Now a west coaster, humidity is largely a distant memory and cool nights abound. But we got hecka problems of our own.

Do they not have air conditioning? Seriously?And/or a dehumidifier?

Also I read if you rub your pet with a dryer sheet, it will help with the static. Only use a “natural” one though, like Seventh Generation – regular ones can have toxic chemicals in them, which pets might then ingest by licking themselves.

Jules is back! Cue extreme aggravation in all four cats, the Woman and the Man! Actually, if it’s that hot, I’m surprised the Boy and the Girl aren’t up and whining.

Hooray hoorah! The July Bug has returned!

Oh. Him.

Even the little white patch on Pucky’s chest looks angry! I just got to work a few minutes ago and I’m sitting here waiting for the air conditioning to cool me off from my walk to work.

AUGH!! July bugs!

That’s got to be that cute spider, though even cute spiders can get cranky from the heat.

King Elvis: Tammy, it is a great thing to be Siamese, but there are some things you must remember:

We hiss at a shadow

We sleep in the sun

And when it is morning, we sometimes run (If we feel like it)

Demanding our kibble

We make ourselves heard

When people are near

We have the last word

Alone or with our friends

We keep dignity

And take over the World

Subtlelly!

We sleep in the sunlight

And say to the sky:

We are happy to be Siamese!

But we will never

Be pleased!

Tammy: We sleep in the sunlight

And say to the sky:

We are happy to be Siamese!

But we will never

Be pleased!

(Continued)

Several Kittens: Tammy! It’s 2 am. Wanna come to the Running of the Cats?

Tammy: You want me to come along? Uh, that is: Yes, it’s always good to participate in athletic competition!

King Elvis: You know, my dear Queen. Sometimes even a Siamese is pleased.

I would lose it if the News Crew all start walking around with popsicles too—tuna juice popsicles!!

Watch out! Puck is frizzy and furious! (I love his little paw on his hip)

OT: 303’d & other things…

And now, back in spite of popular demand …

He’s BAAACK!

Omgosh, omgosh, omgosh….pleeeease ,Georgia, I beg you…tell me that’s the July bug! I’m getting super giddy right now!

I swear, I’m screenshot it every one of these. (Like clipping comics out of newspaper). He is my ultimate favorite.

Cue our favorite bug!

It’s God’s revenge on hipsters that they get to wear a full beard in mid-July.

The dramatic entrance of… the July bug!

Suddenly a face appears st the window.

It’s the July bug!!!!!

OMG! It’s the JULY BUG!

I told my husband during a bad summer at our (at the time un-airconditioned) house that we could either get aircon or he could sleep by himself for 3 months.We got central air.

Cue the July Bugs???

Looks like it’s June Bug Time!!!

“I love you so much, but if your skin touches mine, I’m filing for divorce.”

This guy has got to be gay. I can’t imagine ever saying that to a woman I married.

Is that the July bug?

Must be time for a visit from the July bug!

Today is Sugar Cookie Day. At least they don’t melt in this heat, though the frosted ones might. I cannot remember the last time I ate a sugar cookie, but I remember the one’s we used to make when I was a kid. They made any commercial kind taste like sweetened cardboard (carb-board?). I liked the unfrosted ones best, and eventually we stopped frosting them or using cookie cutters at all.

Some of the ones from my various relations were terrible: the cookie part was anything from as good as ours to pasteboard, but the frosting, ugh. I’m not sure how they did it, but it was hard enough to stop small caliber bullets. The only way to eat one was to clamp it between your molars (assuming no machinist’s vice was handy) and break it off. By the time the frosting had softened, the dough had dissolved. The frosting tasted like mildly sweetened lard, too. Maybe they were trying to keep the kids from eating too much—at the risk of losing their teeth. Come to think of it, I think that particular family contained a dentist …

I confess, there was one commercial sugar cookie I greatly miss: Brown Edge Wafers™. They were a special treat—because I had a tendency to eat the whole box “without noticing.” I don’t want to know if they still exist—almost certainly the ingredients have changed and they won’t taste as good as they did. If they do, I’m doomed …

OMC, it’s the July Bug! Brace yourselves!

Yay, Jules is back!

OMC, tooo funny! Right on time, JB.

When we have nights like these (and we’re on our 7th 90-degree day in a row here), I miss my big old slipper-tub….I’d take a deep, cool bath right before bed, it works much better than a shower.

Squeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee, JULES!!!! so good to see you sweetie pie!

Time to take a cold shower. With the kitties.

♫ ♪ I feel the night heat, ♫ ♪ ♫ ♪ I feel your heartbeat, ♫ ♪ ♫ ♪ Something ain’t right, ♫ ♪ ♫ ♪ There’s too much heat in the night ♫ ♪

Speaking of crankiness, my little Katie is showing a lot of Elvis attitude, now that she is in control of the household. She still follows me wherever I go, but she’s slightly cranky about it. You can actually see the frown on her face, when she has to get up, yet again, to follow me someplace else in the house or basement. But she has bed making 101 down pat.

BIG SPIDER!!!!

If we just slightly mispronounce his name, he could be—most appropriately for KK—Yules Bomber…(yeah, it’s a stretch, I know)

annnnnnnnnnnnd it gets much much much worse. (also I asked to see the july bug yesterday and LOOK HERE HE IS OMC how!!)

July Bug!

OT: Me…

There he is!