Pearls Before Swine by Stephan Pastis for August 25, 2022

Do I care about this? In a rat’s . . .

Next time, read the package.

The less you spend the less you have. This works most of the times.

You can leave one single-ply roll in the garage as your emergency roll in case you run out of the good stuff.

I got in touch with my inner self the other day. Last time I buy such cheap toilet paper!

I’m looking for that TP that advertises white kittens to wipe your backside with. All that brand sells is rolls of paper. Hmm.

No one cares, Rat.

Then too, it wasn’t so long ago that almost all TP went from a full man-sized 4½" square down to something now kiddie-sized and only slightly larger than a postage stamp. Same number of “sheets” per roll, however! Whatta bargain!

First World Problem.

A bear and a rabbit are taking a dumping the woods.

The bear ask the rabbit: Do you have a problem with sh-t sticking to your fur?

The rabbit answers: No.

So the bear picks up the rabbit and uses it to wipe himself.

Happy 109th, Walt.

“We have met the enemy and he is us.” –Walt Kelly (1913 Aug. 25 – 1973 Oct. 18)

I’m with Rat! I’m with Rat!

I cried because I had only 2-ply toilet paper until I met a rat who had only 1-ply.

Why won’t a politician go out into the woods?

See @Imagine’s comment.

Get a bidet.

Well at least he’s finally started using toilet paper.

I guess single ply is illegal here in Germany. All kind of paperwork for every sh¡t still needs mutiple press-through copies.

Rat, learn to deal with your own $h!t.

So many comments about how small the paper is (postage stamp, really?) and how it falls apart while using it makes me realize why there are DON’T EAT THIS; SILICA PACK warning labels.

During the Great Toilet Paper Shortage during the pandemic, I bought whatever I could find.

Some of the 2 ply stuff clogs up some sewer systems, just sayin’!

I see toilet paper packages that say “6 mega rolls = 36 regular rolls!” But does anyone even know what a “regular roll” is? I have never seen a “regular roll” of toilet paper, only doubles quadruples, mega, etc.

The TP Conglomerate is massive

Researchers say the ratio is closer to 1.4 times as much.

If you have a septic tank you’re grateful for one-ply!

Crude, but effective. My daughter preferred the wife’s monogrammed hand towels

Well, Rat, one ply would be fine if you weren’t so full of…

I forget what I was going to say.

Yeesh Rat have you ever considered getting a bidet ?

Rat looks down on anyone who isn’t his species.

I love mankind it’s people I can’t stand!

I’m sure that Rat has a whole bunch of his own reasons for hating mankind. We really don’t give a Rat’s @ss about them. But, he’s going to tell us anyway. Complaining is the one thing he likes to do, justified or not.

I’ve noticed it is also not as wide as it used to be. I was at work and the TP reminded me of those people who dance with ribbons.

Except Cottonelle. The one ply is as good as two ply, I’m actually amazed at it.

And have you noticed the width of the roll has been shrinking over the past few years?

My wife buys single ply because it’s cheaper and we are just flushing it anyway. I probably use four times as many sheets. Not sure we are seeing any savings.

I remember when low-flow toilets first came out. They wouldn’t flush as well as regular toilets, so you had to flush more often, which resulted in more water being used.

…not to mention the rolls are not as wide either….screw the consumer is their aim.

I do not like 1 ply toilet paper, I bought some by mistake a couple of years ago. This one ply paper was as thick as the 2 ply and worked just as good. I cannot remember which brand it was.

And what did people use in Biblical times long before toilet paper? Was it the left or was it the right hand?

The dreaded “Mud Butt Monster”! ;o{

Wish I could unsee that joke. Ewwwww

Use a “travelers bidet”. Basically an angled nozzle you put on a water bottle…also less irritation on your tushey.

Capitalism, Rat. It’s always capitalism.

That’s why we read the labels, Rat!

Blame the Fates or your inability to read a label. Your choice….

Hope rat did the arithmetic.

I’ve said this before, I never understood even the existence of single ply because when I do run across it I use twice as much.

this comic used to be interesting and funny. Now.. it’s just become boring.

“What monster…” he asks? Ignorance, due to lack of reading the packaging. It’s all on there. Yet, somehow, it’s someone else’s fault, again.

oh go squeeze some charmin

Why you always look at what you’re buying. Then you have only yourself to blame.

That monster would be you. Pay attention and read the label.

Look in the mirror, Rat, for you are the monster! You are monstrously stupid for not reading the label carefully, especially on a “bargain” that seems too good to be true (because it is)….

“Let the buyer beware!”

In Ulysses, Leopold Bloom reads a magazine’s prize-winning story while sitting in the “jakes”. When he is finished, he tears the story out of the magazine and wipes himself with it. Such is the fate of literature.

Looks like Pastis was too lazy to draw more than one panel today.