Pearls Before Swine by Stephan Pastis for January 12, 2025

I would think that working on the bathroom would cause the most inconvenience.

Since the bank repossessed the house five days ago, let them pay for it.

This is so accurate.

Reminds me how some Government projects go!

My stepdad goes out of his way to make sure his estimates are as on point as possible. Usually the only time he ever goes over budget or past the time frame is because of supply shortages or the customer changed their mind halfway through.

All too true. I added a small office over my kitchen in 2004, with an estimate of 8 months extended to a year because the city required earthquake retrofitting for practically the entire house before approving the addition. Things went fine for a couple of months, then the fellow overseeing our job took sick and died. The master carpenter took his place, and did a good job when he bothered to show up (but only about 2 or 3 days a week, depending on how recently he’d had an argument with his girlfriend). In 2008, after 4 years of on-again off-again work I notified the head of the company that my mother, mother-in-law and both of my sisters were moving in with us in a month, and the plumbing HAD to be done ASAP. Three weeks later, still no plumbers in sight and painting also unfinished, so I called the head of the company again and said that if the plumbing wasn’t finished by the end of the week I wanted what I’d paid for the plumbing and painting returned, and to never see any of his workmen again. The next day I received a check for what I’d paid, contacted the plumbers they were going to use myself, and two days later THEY had re-plumbed the whole house (at half the contractor’s price), and not only didn’t I see any of the company’s other workers again, but they left all their stuff, including personal items, behind. I waited a week and when my relatives moved in, I had their movers take everything left behind to the dump. Would have liked to send the head of the company somewhere well down there too, but thanks to the housing collapse, his business went bankrupt, so at least I got to enjoy a little schadenfreude.

Rat now get a bid from “Larry Croc Construction” ;-)

Very, very accurate!

why is it the Back Door is always in the kitchen?

Sheesh. How badly do you need those repairs?

The Contractor’s tag line: “By the time we get this done you will no longer care how much it will cost. You will just want to get it done!”

Don’t pay up front.

The first 90% of the job takes 90% of the time. The last 10% of the job takes 90% of the time.

Worse yet the contractor is a crook takes your money and never shows up to do the job. Oh yeah don’t bother complaining to the state they won’t do squat about it. (been there, done that)

Looks like Rat will be dining out a lot more.

I think Pastis is bitter about something

Don’t forget Angi’s cut.

I’ve rebuilt bathrooms and a kitchen. For the kitchen I staged everything ahead of time. Took a long weekend, stripped the room, removed all of the damaged drywall, added power circuits and outlets, re-insulated. New green board, primed, painted. Moved the new cabinets in, hooked up plumbing, installed countertops. The next weekend, I moved the appliances in. And vowed to never do it again.

Wanted the bathroom redone. Called a contractor and a lady showed up to TELL ME what I wanted!! What I actually wanted was out of the question. Also quoted $25K for HER ideal bathroom. Did it myself except for bath and bought a new pickup instead. Oh, I gave myself what I WANTED too!!

We’ve been very lucky. We have a neighbor we use as our contractor and he’s excellent. Shows up when he says he will, does quality work, and brings it in on budget.

I was a project manager for condo repair projects in the Seattle area. As I always told my clients (I represented the HOAs), the second happiest day on a project is when the contractor comes. The happiest day is when they leave.

Press 0 for a human who will connect you back to the main menu.

Having your kitchen done, Pastis?

Insert frustration here.

OK. AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

They hired the wrong contractor.

I do a lot of DIY work around my house. And, the stuff I do usually takes a lot more money and time than I think it will. Part of the materials will always be stuck somewhere in FedEx limbo while I try to work around it. And, there are always delays for family issues etc. Getting something done by a contractor is only really that much worse because at least I know I’m not going to just stop showing up.

Should talk to our guy. He estimated 1 and a half weeks. Got it done in 5 days and added some stuff we forgot (with our permission first, of course) for a small mark-up.

Pig is right about that. About 10 yrs ago, I looked for someone to redo all of out flooring tile. The one guy worked hard for my business. He always answered my calls or came over to talk about things. Those should have been clues to me. Once he had the contract, that all changed. He was always busy chasing the next contract. He didn’t show up on time, or not at all. He took time to take his kids to the doctors. (that wasn’t my issue – it was that he didn’t tell me about it)

Our bathroom was done on time and under budget. We love our contractors.

Rat is wiser than he looks.

Curly: If he ever does come back, you call me and we’ll finish the job.

Walter: When I do get the permits, how long will the job take?

Curly: Two weeks.

Walter: Two weeks? Two weeks?

Curly: You sound like a parakeet there. “Two weeks! Two weeks!”

Walter: Well, two weeks. It-it’s amazing.

Curly: Amazing, nothing. It’ll be a regular miracle

We’ve had 2 houses remodeled and were lucky enough to only have to spend a few nights in hotels. But all those trips to Olive Garden put me off restaurants for a long time

I remember a television advertisement a few years back. I don’t remember what was being advertised, but the commercial went something like this:

Contractor: “OK. We’re going to take out the whole back wall of your kitchen, leaving everything exposed to the outside elements. Then I’m going to disappear for 6 to 8 weeks. You won’t be able to get in touch with me, so don’t even try. The entire job is going to take 4 times longer than the original estimate and cost twice as much.”

DECISION: Let the next owner take care if it.

4 weeks. That’s when they’ll stop work for no apparent reason and leave you hanging for at least another 4 weeks.

Contracted and protracted.

This is generous…

6 weeks master bath & kitchen remodel turned into 9 months. Turns out our contractor has no project mgmt skills. Appliances, flooring, windows, kitchen cabinets, paint & trim sat in the garage, living room, guest bedroom, any open floor space for months. Contractor cut 5% off the final bill, but we spent way more than the “discount” on work arounds, Door Dash, eating out, and extra utility bills due to window & exterior wall demo on Day 1 in late January.

I loved a BBC radio skit where, in the middle of signing a check for the contractor, the homeowner announces he has to go away and sign checks for some other people before he gets back to finishing the signing of that contractor’s check. :) :) :)

Back in my software engineering days, we had a quick “reality converter”. When someone estimated a project’s length, we would double the quantity and move the time period to the next larger one. For example: If the estimate was 2 weeks, we knew the actual time would be closer to 4 months.

I KNEW it!

To Stephan Pastis,……this is so frightfully accurate it’s scary.

Contractors Calendars: Some months have 45-50 days, some have 2 days, some have 14 days,….Also, if they get a bigger or higher $$ project while yours is in progress, they “disappear” for a while.

Sounds like all of my dealings with contractors.

I’ve generally gone with double the price and triple the time and it seems to work out.

We are going through a huge remodel ourselves, and while I believe he has been fair and a good guy, I can understand when the original estimate grows because of unseen and unexpected things needing repair or replacement.

Hire these people to remodel The White House so Trump can’t find the front door

It’s always baffled me that contractors can just charge whatever they want after the fact, regardless of the estimate or bid they submitted. Isn’t that supposed to be the point of the bid? So you can decide who to with? If they can just change their price after the fact, what’s the point? I mow lawns and I never charge more than my estimate the first time I do a yard. If I significantly underbid, then I will tell them so and tell them what to expect GOING FORWARD, but I always stick to the agreed upon price the first time at a minimum.