Pearls Before Swine by Stephan Pastis for July 10, 2023

Cream, no sugar — and I also have a baseball bat.

Today’s background music: “Paint It Black” by The Rolling Stones.

Once again, unless “we”(royal we) conform, we’ll get “whacked!” (And believe me, there are zillions of ways to get “whacked” that don’t and do involve ACTUAL sticks!!!! Dan aka…(going to jail is one(1), just ask Donald trump!)

Goat was afraid to answer…didn’t want a violent cancellation

The real issue here is……………..Is it a Louisville Slugger???

What about the triple latte with syrup and glitter?

And some of us don’t drink coffee at all.

Batter up!

Espresso.

I don’t drink coffee. So instead of a bat, just remember this: More coffee for you

Wow. Something I can agree with Rat on.

A Cup of Joe?

https://www.rd.com/article/reason-coffee-called-cup-of-joe/

Make mine a double-double (2 creams, 2 sugars).

Black. Which also means no sugar if that wasn’t clear.

But I can’t imagine caring what other people put in their coffee.

How about an answer of “No.”? [I prefer my coffee to be your coffee?]

Goat get your own bat . Make it much larger than Rat’s ;-) Black with a drop of Honey :-)

For scores of years black no sugar. I could eat beans all day. Parents went from cream, half and half, canned stuff, powdered stuff and I secretly hated them for it.

Recently I wanted to gain a few lbs of fat but didn’t want to disrupt my health routines or diet. Whipping cream occurred to me. Protein, decent fat calories, no sugar, calcium.

I’ve added it to my coffee (a fancy cold brew from Costco, all day) and I can see getting into it. But it’s not coffee, imo. I’m going back.

Brown sugar, creamer and a packet of chocolate carnation breakfast essentials (so I can trick myself into thinking it’s healthy) – it’s a big cup

Sister-in-law literally adds coffee to her milk

Maybe Rat needs some decaf.

Stay away from Starbucks, Rat!

Tomorrow, Rat will ask Goat if he’s the kind of guy who puts ketchup on his hot dogs.

Cream? What cream? They is add ice cream?

Black, no sugar

Goat’s horns are getting too short.

I like what I like

Rat will harm anyone who doesn’t agree with him. Thank God I don’t drink coffee.

The rat gestapo. Lie to be safe in the face of oppression or disable the rat.

Rat is a control freak.

Extra cream, no sugar (or bat) for me…

Cream and sugar for me, and I have cats.

I like a little coffee with my cream and sugar

When I worked at a gas station decades ago, my boss used to buy a round of coffee for everyone in the mornings. I decided I would drink it black or not at all. Actually black coffee is a perfect foil for a really sweet dessert.

Today’s strip is like a Russian popularity poll for Putin.

Mine is aluminum. The ad said, “Suitable for soft balls only.”, but I’m sure your head would be “suitable”. :-)

Need the bat to stir my cream!!

cream, 2 teaspoons of sugar. ya know, to take that coffee taste away

I like my coffee black, but sometimes I load it with cream and sugar. Depends on my mood and the time of day. Sometimes I put whiskey in it.

I never developed a taste for coffee.

Give me caffeinated soda, preferably diet Mtn Dew.

I do not drink coffee. Tea is my caffeine delivery system. I have a MUG (not a tea cup) almost every morning (milk and sugar). I use to have people ask me why I do not drink coffee (there is a backstory) and I just reply “It just keeps me awake at work.”.

Dang! Rat could ravage a Starbucks faster than a peaceful protest.

coffee? Cold. cold and bitter.

If you add cream and sugar to improve the taste, then you have lousy, cheap coffee to begin with

Black if its good coffee, otherwise ad milk to deal with it

Violent threats and intimidation are always so funny.

Mounds? or Almond Joy? I too have a baseball bat.

Even as a kid, I never liked any cream or sugar adulterating my tea. The same went for coffee when I got older. Throughout my life and travels, I found that people don’t get as freaked out about my drinking my coffee black as they do about my drinking tea that way. This is especially true when I was in Ireland and the U.K.

I refuse to dilute my UNSWEETENED coffee with milk or cream! It has to be so strong that it can walk to the table by itself & say, “Good morning, Carl”!!

Speaking of coffee: https://www.gocomics.com/spot-the-frog/2023/07/10

Can’t imagine Rat’s unrest if the TP is put on the roll backwards….

Somehow we’ve got to get away from this animosity about personal opinions.

I only use cream if the coffee is of questionable quality.

Say the right answer or get creamed.

Pun intended.

With the mob behavior today, replace “coffee” with ESG.

OK, let’s start another violent string. . . . Mayo on hotdogs?

Don’t you mean coffee “of color”?

 A History of the World in 6 Glasses, a 2006 book by Tom Standage, tells the story of humanity from the Stone Age to the 21st Century through each epoch’s signature refreshment: beer, wine, spirits, coffee, tea, and Coca-Cola.

Flavored cream or no coffee.

I used to drink coffee with two sugars and cream! But I switched to black because it took less much time to fix it at work! LOL!

Save the bat for people who order well done steak.

And, I never went back…

i grew up in the Great State of Rhode Island – we abolished slavery in 1652, not a typo… 1652 – and the state beverage to this day is coffee milk, i liked mine with Eclipse Coffee syrup, but too much caffeine and sugar, so these days i make my coffee extra strong, but decaf, and with half and half and stevia

https://www.gocomics.com/offthemark/2023/07/08

I take my coffee with a tad of milk (cream when available).

I can eat all the cheese I want pretty much now, maybe because I dropped 30-40lbs? But cream and milk? NO. GOD NO. I eat my cereal raw and NAKED.

Time to escalate this. How does Rat feel about Hawaiian pizza?

Curse you, Stephen Pastis! You made me snort my coffee AGAIN!

152 comments? Sheesh, these coffee drinkers are passionate.

My coffee is nothing but a delivery system for fats & sugar, never threaten a CCW holder with a bat Rat.

I thought Goat was a tea drinker!

Black, no cream or sugar. If it needs the taste to be altered it’s not good coffee and there’s no point in drinking it except for the caffeine.

Black, no sugar.

“Black” gives ya ulcers. Then again,so does Rat.

I could really not care less. People get so worked up over nothing; but then, people…

Rat would not have to use weaponized intimidation to get mw to agree with him on this one. Black coffee for me…even if it’s bitter!

When is Rat gonna be charged with assault?

Black, very strong, very cold — and I’m pleased to report that no one has ever threatened me with a baseball bat over the matter. (My wife and I resolved our differences over coffee preferences simply by investing in his-and-her coffee makers.)

Where some people direct their passions . . .

How would Rat react to tea?

Cream and sugar, if you please. And if you don’t, this is Rat Poison loaded in my squirt-gun….

Black coffee, else you get creamed? :D

I never take cream with my coffee, blech!

Black, unsweetened

I’ve never really enjoyed coffee, so I drink it rarely. Tastes do change over time, so I try it every once in a while to see if I like it someday. That has not happened yet.

Ever wondered why the cancelling/renaming/lefty cretins haven’t woken up to the fact that the words person, woman, women, etc end in three letters that denote the male sex?

I don’t drink the stuff, but when I worked for Dunkin’ Donuts, some nasty old fart yelled at me my first night. He said regular coffee, so I poured it straight. Apparently, people in MA need sugar to choke their swill down. So glad to be back in CA.