Pearls Before Swine by Stephan Pastis for November 05, 2023

Saw that coming from the first panel.

Thanks Stephan, now that’s gonna be stuck in my head.

“Almost Heaven” doesn’t describe what’s about to happen.

John Denver’s estate lawyers on line 3.

Songwriters: John Denver / Mary Catherine Danoff / Taffy Nivert Danoff / William Danoff

I always wondered what she looked like

At least John Denver isn’t turning over in his grave right now. He was cremated.

Stephan pastis’s parents REALLY should’ve taken away his radio as a child; the world would’ve been so GRATEFUL!!!! Dan aka…

teardrops in my eyes….

“Take me home” would work if he was from an insane asylum.

Get out of Denver baby! Go!

Just think of today’s horror as being part of Stephan’s recovery from his book signing tour. His shrink made him do it.

How long does he spend thinking these up?

Posted to a few Fallout76 groups I’m in. Waiting for the anguished howls to begin.

This song isn’t about the state West Virginia, but about western Virginia. The Shenandoah valley isn’t in WV, for example. Anyone who has studied the civil war at any real depth can tell you that.

I hear her bat as she cracks me in the head…

From the fist panel i knew this would be one of his “creative” strips

Howling. Wipes away tears.

John Denver just turned in his grave.

When they got to California, Pig was so impressed that he said, Almost heaven – west, Virginia.

Loved this one! :D

John Denver is doing a 360 in his resting place right now!

How many roads? “A couple two or tree”!

I always look forward to the puns. I love them!

As a European I am learning lots about US culture by being a regular here.

I can’t wait for Sundays.

Oh man! They let Pastis out of jail!!!

A little transparent for a long development; yet a nice finish.

This is one of his better ones

And it’s a looooooong road…

I kept trying to guess what it would be, but I didn’t. I like the ending with Mountain Mama.

Wordplay, what’re you gonna do?

Pastis at his best!

I’ll bet Stephan almost choked while working this one out.

I saw the pun coming from the second panel, but I wasn’t quite sure how Stephan was going to get there. Well played, Pastis!

AWESOME!

Belly laugh over breakfast. Lucky I wasn’t drinking my tea at the time.

This man NEVER disappoints.

I knew a pun was coming, I just didn’t know where it was going.

One of his lamer ones – the sentence structure at the end is awful.

Good song to have stuck in the head.

Stephan will be visited by the ghost of John Denver tonight. He’s not happy.

That was a lot of work!

There is absolutely no question – Pastis is a freakin’ genius!

How would Henry John Deutschendorf, Jr. (1943-1997) react?

Ah, thanks for the memories.

I figured out pretty quickly that we were going to reference the #kingsmen anthem, I just wasn’t sure what the actual punchline would be.

Love it! Made my day.

I was singing in a huge choir and when we got dismissed we all sang that

Saw a pun coming a mile away. Stephan – couldn’t you just post a non-pun rerun on days like this?

I liked this one!

Thank you for making me laugh out loud which I rarely do. It was the “Mountain Mama” that did it!

Thank you Stephan! A classic

Normally I don’t read ‘Pearls’ on Sundays. I slipped up this morning and was reminded why. I can’t believe there are really people who don’t despise this kind of forced gag. And it’s exactly the same joke every time: a stupid and unfunny forced gag and then Rat punishing ‘Pastis’ for it in the final panel. Why tell that joke more than once?

I snickered, but this one was too labored. We needed some silliness from Pastis after he ended the week rather heavy; but this wasn’t it.

Come out, Virginia; don’t make me wait. You Catholic girls start much too late.

Stephan really had to work for this one!

May be the most torturous path yet.

funny, got an out loud laugh

Clever but deadly……

these get shaggier every time!

[Chorus]Country roads, take me homeTo the place I belongWest Virginia, mountain mamaTake me home, country roadsTook me a minute to figure out “ivy’s long” and I guess Mountain Moma is mad because he didn’t work her into the song.I hate puns except Pastis does them so well!

A triumph!

His puns are so horrible that it’s evident that he puts a lot of time and love in them.

Love them!

I don’t even try to figure these out anymore. I just go with it.

Darn, now I have an earworm.

Give the donkey a lance and a windmill and he could be Donkey Hotay.

Carry me back, old Virginnie! I’d like to unsee this.

This one was so elaborate that it really kept me guessing.

I just saw 45K+ people belting out this song at the NFL game in Germany…

No. Just no.

That’s a biiiiiiiig stretch!

Pastis … like Jurassic Park: "just because you can, doesn’t mean you should.This was a groaner.

Pun Prison. Now!! Government, Investigate,!!

Or at least, local police…

I had purged that song from my memory and almost erased the author. Curse you, Pastis.

Thank God he’s a country boy……. he’s a funny funny riddle

Apparently Pastis is out on bail to create more groaners. I’m not sure if I should be happy or sad. ;)

Holmes is cute, especially with the Deerstalker cap.

You know, after a while, you can sense the set up from the first panel. Not the punchline, but that you are wading your way through a whole lot of guff!

LOL. Love it!

Greatness, Stephan.

I imagine it takes a lot of skill and insight to back-convert a song into a cartoon. And the work required of a build-up! Do you take requests?

Excellent one Pastis! Excellent!

Stephan, please, put the crk pipe down.

Pity that John Denver’s dead.

I didn’t know the song, so public service:Take Me Home, Country Roads Song by John Denver

Almost heaven, West VirginiaBlue Ridge Mountains, Shenandoah RiverLife is old there, older than the treesYounger than the mountains, growin’ like a breezeCountry roads, take me homeTo the place I belongWest Virginia, mountain mamaTake me home, country roadsAll my memories gather ‘round herMiner’s lady, stranger to blue waterDark and dusty, painted on the skyMisty taste of moonshine, teardrop in my eyeCountry roads, take me homeTo the place I belongWest Virginia, mountain mamaTake me home, country roadsI hear her voice in the mornin’ hour, she calls meThe radio reminds me of my home far awayDrivin’ down the road, I get a feelin’That I should’ve been home yesterday, yesterdayCountry roads, take me homeTo the place I belongWest Virginia, mountain mamaTake me home, country roadsCountry roads, take me homeTo the place I belongWest Virginia, mountain mamaTake me home, country roadsTake me home, (down) country roadsTake me home, (down) country roads

Stephan, Stephan, OMG OMG — That is So Bad and pretty dang funny

Kinda hope that mountain mama has a very heavy hand.

John Denver is spinning in his grave.

If John Denver knew that Cartoon Boy would make such a god-awful pun based on his song, he’d probably have been like, “You know what, never mind…”

Clever.

How did he get out of the pokey?

That was sooo bad…have at ’im, mama!

Horrible, horrible. Even more horrible than usual.

Hey, Mountain Mama, once you’ve clobbered Cartoon-Boy righteously, save a thump or two for Pig, ‘cause he’s the accomplice in this pun-funny business….

Life ain’t nothing but a funny funny riddle===EDWARD NIGMA

Oh BOOOOOO :-D

Why did they ever release you? :D

Run Stephan run.

Great donkey. Ours is named Solomon.

Bravo! (Sorry. Bad Steph!)