Non Sequitur by Wiley Miller for February 17, 2023

What no decaf water?

There was a time I was in a grocery store that had an endcap with a large Gluten Free sign, and all that was on the endcap was bottled water.

alcohol free vodka

I miss the days when I enjoyed the illusion that I had a pretty good idea of what was going on.

Fat-Free Half and Half

i’ll wait till they get to a drink-free drink.

What’s going on is the same that has ever been, just with different branding and packaging, for the idiots with more money than good sense.

Notice I didn’t say they are wealthy, or well-off. Just that their sense is less than their money.

Changing one word in the Monty Python Spam sketch:

Wife: (shrieks) I don’t like gluten!

Man: Shh, dear, don’t cause a fuss. I’ll have your gluten. I love it!

Can empathize with these guys. Muchly.

Meanwhile:

What?! No keto water?!

A glass full of air is fat free, gluten free and is darn cheap!

I’m having one now!

I’d hate to be the one that had to lift those giant bottles.

Fads, they’ll go away when some new ones come along

I grew up when tap water was perfectly fine, and the selection of major soft drinks was much larger than the water section in a grocery store. Some of the grocery stores around here dedicate close to 10% of their shelf space for just water these days.

Also, it seems odd that bottled water has an expiration date, considering their branding. Untouched for thousands of years, extracted from a glacier for minimal contamination, or purified from mountain streams. Finish it by Wednesday.

Yes, the buying habits are confusing, we live in an area which has some of the safest and most healthy water and yet I see folks buying environmentally trashy bottled water by the case.

I’m not offended, but am surprised, at the use of the word “hell” in a comic strip. Will GoComics’ nannybot deny my comment because I used that word?

Where’s the non-GMO water?

Where’s the Prevaporated dispenser???

Wait until they get to the non-binary bathrooms.

WHY?? the word that pops up whenever I read all the hyperbole around new products. It also appears when I pick up a small package of some frozen food or a medicine bottle where the ingredient list or the instructions are in 8 pt type.

what about the dehydrated water, just ad some h2o

Ya know, I’m still using the original four food groups.

The thing about things labeled Gluten Free, they are making a statement that their product has been produced in a way that there can be no contamination from other products.

The opposite goes for foods that contain no nuts, but the label states that it was produced in a factory with nuts. It protects them should there be a trace of nuts in the product, should someone allergic to nuts eat their product.

Go for the caffeine free diet.

I am Celiac, and must avoid products with Wheat, Barley and Rye. I read labels and do research before I buy products with ingredients that may be suspect.I do find it incredible that products like eggs are marked "Gluten Free’!

Eventually, people will be warned in many instances not to eat the food, not to drink the water, and not to breathe the air. Actually this happens about every other week, somewhere in this country. We have already become wary of purchased food, become used to ubiquitous plastic bottled water. What’s next — vending machines that sell canisters of breathable air?

And cared!!

Sigh As I’m often wont to point out, the hemlock potion that Socrates was obliged to drink was almost certainly vegan, fresh & all-natural, minimally processed, locally sourced, sustainably & organically grown, raised without cruelty & free-range, low sodium, no artificial sweeteners, colors, flavors, hormones, or antibiotics, no added nitrates or nitrites, no polycyclic aromatic hydrocarbons (PAHs), and trans-fat-, DDT-, SO2-, NOx-, GMO-, MSG-, HFCS-, BST-, BPA-, CFC-, VOC-, vaccine-, brominated flame retardant-, bisphenol A-, fluoride-, gluten-, gelatin-, glyphosate-, PFAS-, PFOS-, PFOA-, peanut-, tree nut-, fish-, shellfish-, soy-, dairy-, egg-, wheat-, sesame , lactose, acrylamide-, sulfoxaflor-, neonicotinoid-, nitrosamine-, phtalate-, paraben-, and now microplastic- free. Nothing whatever synthetic; the exact opposite of an ultra-processed, chemical-filled, carnivorous food. Killed him anyway…

The point being that vegan, “all natural” and/or “organic” and/or “minimally processed” or whatever doesn’t in any necessary way mean that something is healthier, safer, or better for you. Likewise, if something contains some chemically sounding ingredients, it doesn’t necessarily mean that it’s particularly bad for you. Science by its very nature cannot ethically offer certainty; for that you need religion and its snake oil. Life simply isn’t that simple. Bon appétit!

Sorry, I don’t drink upside-down water — makes me belch.

I can’t make out the label on the coffee pot…

I never did have any idea what was going on.

A supermarket near me has all these “health” labels on the food. They’re either superfluous – like “Gluten Free” on a can of peas – or nonsense, like “Heart Healthy” on the lard.

When ’It’s water, folks’ was pretty much all you needed to know. Maybe a choice of tap or chilled. But then… Koo-Aid! Tang! Fizzies! Better living through chemistry!

PT Barnum is now running things….

Often see people add a nice big lemon wedge to their alkaline water

Gluten-free water! Now the idiots who have no idea what gluten is will be demanding it, demonstrating that they are clueless posers. People with celiacs disease know what they are dealing with.

Guy in the market had 96 small bottles of water in his trolley. Nothing else.

I was tempted to ask ‘’why?’’ But. Old pandas break easily, and I hate hospitals.

There are some people, you can sell anything to. He musta been one of them.

This strip brought that scene to mind. ??? I dunno.

Amazon sells a beef bone broth that has a VEGAN label. I’m stumped!

PLEASE, everyone with a food allergy or special diet, when you are invited to dinner, let your hosts know about it. It is extremely frustrating to spend days planning and preparing a [Thanksgiving] meal for 18 people to have one person mention they are gluten-intolerant, another person ask if the mashed potatoes have milk and butter in them [they need dairy-free], and another person announce they are pescatarian. Things that can’t be fixed with people sitting at the table ready to dish up. And having one or two people sitting at the table with empty plates sort of spoils the mood for everyone.

Most of us have recipes and can plan menus that include gluten-free, dairy-free, egg-free, etc. dishes. But they often require ingredients we don’t normally keep around and they do take time to prepare. When we invite you to dinner, we want to feed you food you can eat and enjoy. That’s the point.

No lactose free water. I’ll have to pass.

they have lo-cal water now too

I understand the possible problems with gluten having been tested for and had eliminated gluten as a problem in my diet by an excellent gastroenterologist.My problem is the amount of shelf space and advertising given to a problem like Celiac disease that only affects 0.74 (less than 1) per cent of the population. Remember that ALL of our ancestors ate bread to get here and as my gastroenterologist said to me, the cure is finding why gluten affects some people so and not just avoiding it.

25 years ago I was staying with fellow parents for a lacrosse players exchange program in England. Those alert folks pointed out the backwards spelling of the evian brand of bottled water we were drinking.

Sigh. Don’t we all…

i panicked a whole foods worker by asking if the ice was gluten free

I’m rather intolerant of most fads, and especially of those touting the benefits of “getting back to nature.” I remember the puzzled and somewhat offended look I got from a woman who had been spouting about the benefits of “getting back to nature” at a dinner party. I merely asked her if she’d prefer living in a tree eating a dinner that was raw and still wiggling? I got away with it only because I’m very old and known to be more than a little eccentric. 8>)

Gluten-free water? Isn’t that a given? It shouldn’t have to be labelled.

Water never has had gluten…

Me too.

Now that I’m old enough to have the answers, they’ve changed the questions.

I’ve seen gluten free milk.

I would miss them, but I don’t care any longer.

I’ve been to different restaurants with waitresses who did not know what Gluten is!!

I liked the Velveeta commercial about the liquid gold prospectors whose claim runs down to the glutton free stuff.

I’ve never been gladder that I don’t have ANY food allergies.

And when the waiter asks me if I want “sparkling or tap”,someday I’ll say “poisonous”.

And thats NO Shi-

Great one, Wiley!!

My idea of gluten free is when they don’t charge extra for it.

…Gender-fluid…

Gluten free is vastly overrated. What we need is more Sugar Free.

Ignorance is bliss, but it’s hell on the rest of us.

HA!!!!!

And soon there will be sugar free, lite, and vegan options. Not to mention …

Just wait until he goes to use the bathroom!

I just love it when products tout the fact that they have some fad quality that they always had, like water with a big “ZERO CALORIES” on it. Or GLUTEN FREE.

An elderly woman asked me to help her read a label. She was allergic to fish and wanted to be sure it did not contain sea salt. Ad fads notwithstanding, ALL salt is sea salt but I knew it would be pointless to tell her (and contains infinitesimal amounts of fish protein.)

If I want water in a plastic bottle, I will take one of the plastic bottles sitting around the house over to the tap.

My theory is all the various “types” of food are simply excuses to whack up the prices