Non Sequitur by Wiley Miller for December 17, 2024

Justifiable homicide

And none of them can figure why that bus keeps getting all those flat tires.

I kinda like bagpipes. Played well (yes that IS possible) and preferably with some drums and whistles. From a little distance.

what a great idea!

Now there’s a businessman….

He’s either got his foot on the till, or someone is going to puncture his bag. Either way, it’ll be a case of regicide.

If you’re Scottish, the sound of bagpipes will bring tears to your eyes.

If you’re not Scottish, the sound of bagpipes will bring tears to your eyes.

The purpose of bagpipes is to make you run away, which is why the players are sited BEHIND the advancing army.

Bunch of heathens.

Bunch of heathens.

From the way the bus riders are looking, the bus approaches from the side where the bagpiper is visible.

Bad news, guys, that bus won’t be stopping.

Just another reason why it should still be fashionable for women to wear hat pins.

my wife and i had to go to the highland games on long island one year. as we drove up my wife declared “I suddenly realized I hate bag pipes.” “Wow are you in the wrong place.”

Wouldn’t work on me, I love the bagpipes.

Haven’t seen them live, but the Red Hot Chili Pipers take bagpipes to another level. :)

But… I LIKE bagpipe music. Then again, I haven’t heard his playing.

Heard a bagpipe playing a Christmas song the other day. Yikes! Why do those things exist?

Sorry, I love me the pipes. Ye winna get saxpence from me…

He must be quite rich by now!

Wonder if that would work with . . . oh I dunno . . . maybe someone in a high office?

Groucho: This is better than exploring! What do you fellows get an hour?

Chico: Oh, for playing we getta ten dollars an hour.

Groucho: I see…What do you get for not playing?

Chico: Twelve dollars an hour.

Groucho: Well, clip me off a piece of that.

Chico: Now, for rehearsing we make special rate. Thatsa fifteen dollars an hour.

Groucho: That’s for rehearsing?

Chico: Thatsa for rehearsing.

Groucho: And what do you get for not rehearsing?

Chico: You couldn’t afford it.

I used to eat lunch in Central Park in NYC and there was a guy practicing the ‘pipes’ each day. On the positive side, he was rather good.

For me, it depends on the song.

Definition of a Gentleman: One who knows how to play the bagpipes, but refrains from doing so.

Some of us LIKE bagpipes – although I concede that at close range in a city ‘canyon’ it might be a bit much…

The piper knows his room :D

The people who drum on plastic containers or whatnot drive me crazy. Even if talented, after a minute the incessant drumming is irritating.

I wonder if he knows Free Bird? It sounds wonderful on bagpipes.

I would pay not to have annoying background music in stores and restaurants. Maybe have little vending stations where you put in a few quarters and it suppresses the Muzak for five minutes.

I love the bagpipes!

Can’t resist. Excerpt from the GoonShow.

Moriarty: Gritpype, Gritpype, which dustbin are you in?

Gritpype Thynne: The one with the TV arial on top.

M: The million pounds goes to the first Scotsman to play the bagpipes at the south pole!

GT: Curses, neither of us can play the instrument.

M: But we can learn

GT: No one has ever learned.

A nice Scottish lad moves to New York.

After 6 months his mom calls him and she asks how he finds the Americans. Horrible, he says. They always yell and scream. He hates how they pound on the walls and stomp the floors. Oh pure! she says, how do you get by?

I just relax in bed, playing me bagpipes, says the lad.

Fun fact: back in the 18th Century, the barrel organ was a popular instrument of street performers, who were often homeless or living in extremely rough conditions. The organ stood on one leg and was operated by a crank and could only play one tune, but as long as the operator kept a cup out to accept payment, he was not technically itinerant and could not be arrested for loitering or begging. Some would pay out of pity, others would pay to encourage him to move along because they had quickly tired of his repetitive music. Some organ grinders kept monkeys or small dogs to increase the take by making a little bit more of a show as well.

The practice of organ grinding as a disguised form of begging eventually fell away as barrel organs were replaced with more complex and more expensive book organs, which take books of punched cards instead of a built-in barrel to store the music, allowing the organ grinder a wider selection of music instead of one song to be played ad nauseum. I’m not sure whether it was the expense of the new organs that led to the slow death of organ grinder begging, or whether it was changes in the social landscape that led to the demise of begging via organ grinding.

Q: Why do bagpipers march? A: To get away from the noise.

I was in a NYC subway car when something similar happened years ago.

or instrument-icide

“Run, Forest, run!”

Bagpipes are fine. It’s rap and hip-hop I can’t stand.

Any musical instrument can sound horrible if played by a beginner and some instruments are quite difficult to master. Ever go to a school concert and hear the oboes squeak and the clarinets squawk? How about a badly tuned violin or guitar? Do people “hate” violins because they have heard them played badly? And not all instruments are designed to play all music. Bagpipes, at least the Scottish Highland Bagpipes, came about as communication and military devices. Scottish bagpipes play well in marches and they evoke emotion in those who hear them — which is why they became a military tactic. And they can still evoke a feeling of patriotism in people of Scottish ancestry — much like fiddle and uilleann pipes evoke it for the Irish and John Philip Sousa music in Americans.

I know a few people who would love to listen to bagpipes

I can’t identify the tartan.

Instruments don’t make bad music, bad musicians make bad music

You know they aren’t in Europe because the buses are always on time

I like Scotland the Brave.

I happen to like bagpipe music.

“Saying goodbye in their own way… playing outlawed tunes on outlawed pipes,” – Argyle Wallace

The Celtic taste in music

Is constantly eroding

This explains why bagpipes

Sound like cats exploding

Could be worse!

Coulda been a banjo!

Most of us enjoy street musicians, and are probably not so ez to trigger huh ???… ;-)

It’s only bad if he can’t play well.

Outdoors in the open air is where bagpipes sound best. Not sure whether the reverberation off the buildings in the city canyons helps or hurts.

Should’ve been an accordion…

I have a teensy bit of Scottish blood, and I guess that’s all it takes, because I love the bagpipes.

Seems like DJT is similarly gaining funds from people trying for his favors. So many corporate tycoons donating millions of dollars to his organization.

I can think of someone who a lot of us would pay millions to shut up for a minute…or for four years.

Hey, I love the bagpipes!

So what does it say about me in that I do not mind the sounds of bagpipes (and sometimes adore, depending on what is being played)?

I like bagpipes, assuming they’re played well.

Really old joke.

A Scotsman was in his deathbed in the hospital. His dying wish was to hear the pipes one last time. So they bought in a piper. The results were spectacular.

As one nurse quipped, "It’s a miracle. Old man MacTavish is completely recovered and will be released this afternoon.

What’s more is that four Englishmen who were here for a routine checkup are now in the ICU."

Who’s got a baseball bat and a knife to deal with the bagpipes?

In grade school one year we sang a song about a family band. The last line was, “They were often paid a penny to go off to another street.” It was the ’50s. We had music textbooks,

A sheltered tourist was visiting abroad for the first time and while in Scotland came across a man playing bagpipes. He asked, “What the heck is that?” The Scotsman replied, “Why, these are bagpipes, the national instrument of Scotland!”

“Oh,” replied the tourist, " I thought maybe it was some kind of weird Scottish joke!"

“Aye,” said the Scotsman, “Now yer talkin’ about golf!”

’Tain’t nuttin’ wrong wit da pipes, Laddie!!

I suppose it might be known, but what was he or she drinking, smoking to come up with the instrument? Of course someone else there came up with golf, so perhaps it’s something in the water.

AC/DC It’s a Long Way to the Top bagpipes!!!! Love it! I also like to listen to other pipers on the internet.

Although pipe music is one of my favorites, and for me, a must listen at least once a week…this joke made me Laugh Out Loud….

I like bagpipe music on occasion, it has a nice, soulful sound.

I once kidded about paying my way through college by doing this.

The piper should be severely beaten with a mime.

“Give me twelve angry men and another playing the bagpipes and I’ll give you a rebellion!!” Scrooge McDuck