Luann by Greg Evans and Karen Evans for April 12, 2019

I see the date isn’t going so well thanks to Gunther’s friends (and fiends… I mean Leslie here) butting in.

Looks like the date is over!

If you think that’s bad, just wait until you hear how many years Gunther spent pining over Luann. Not to mention that time they kissed…

This is Gunther’s fault. If he hadn’t told her to meet at the Fuse none of this would happen. Also this is Luann’s fault for interrupting somebody else’s dating knowing she wouldn’t want to be treated this way.

Phone OFF – charm ON!

Gunther is saying, “Uh. . .” in the second panel. Doesn’t sound like it’s Ox sending that smiley face. . .

I cannot put all the blame on Luann. If Gunther was dumb to call Luann right back. He deserves whatever happens next!

Luann againn. Nice little self-plug there.

Bets is not amused. ✨

Not every woman is attracted to “Complicated.” ✨

The look on Bets’ face is the worst possible. Even an angry one who have been better. An angry face says “I’m on a date with a real nice guy. And I don’t want anything to spoil it”. Instead, her face looks tired, resigned, and not a little bit sad. This face says “I’m on a date with a real nice guy. But his friends won’t leave us alone to get to know each other. And worse, he doesn’t have a problem with that”.

Let’s see if I have all the fatal errors made before this date could even begin …

1. Gunther met Bets at the Fuse, where everyone else in the Luannverse could get involved, however well-intentioned.

2. Gunther hasn’t got the sense to either turn off the smartphone or set it to silent mode when he is on a date.

3. Luann should have known better than to start texting Gunther while the date was in progress, instead of waiting to ask him about it the next day.

4. Bets and Gunther should have left right away and had whatever conversation they were going to have in the car on the way to the convention.

I miss anything?

Well, that was a quick “date”!!

Put the phone away Gunther. Don’t be a doofus.

If Bets was wearing a Christine Chapel outfit, Gunther would be deservedly wearing a bowl of plomeek soup right about now.

It’d be nice to think he’s going to learn something from this, but he STILL didn’t turn off the phone, so Bets is going to have to explain every last nuance to him if she still wants to try…

…hope she’s been reading this board.

NOW I am concerned. Bets is jealous of OX? Hey, Gunther has FRIENDS. They are happy for him and text him. No big deal. Roll with it, Bets. He is WITH you and going to Trekkie-Con. Just go and have fun with him. You are already acting like a girlfriend which WILL scare him away. Nobody likes clingy or possessive types. You JUST met him and it is unrealistic to expect him to worship you and ignore his friends. Someday, if you and Gunther decide to date, those friends WILL be part of YOUR life with Gunther. Deal with it now or leave Gunther at Taco Time. Cut the date short and spare him the unnecessary problems down the road.

Gunther, you’re too smart to be as dumb as you are. Boy don’t you know when you’re on a date, you give ALL of your attention to the woman you’re with. Don’t act all surprised that bets is upset with you. You would be too if she was talking about others.

Well Bets I guess this is what you get for trying online dating.

Tbh it isn´t fair towards Gunther that he gets the blame for other people disturbing all at once – and she was off for just a bit.

Gunther, in case you haven’t figured it out: you blew it.

I liked the little self-promotion in the third panel. Well played, sir.

Gunth….Phone off NOW, else date over NOW.

She’s about to beam away from you, you moron. This date is over. Thanxs also to Lukhann.

If I was on a date and he answered his phone I’d get up and leave.

Just turn off the phone! You should’ve done that the moment it rang the first time. If not before.

Very sad that it still hasn’t occurred to Gunther to turn his phone off. I would love to see Bets grab Gunther’s phone and turn it off – indicating that Bets knows Gunther needs help and she’s still willing to go to the convention with him.

OK, Gunther – let us see if we can salvage this. Remember: Bets digs you as more a Captain Kirk type. Now, turn off the phone and ask Bets to put it in her purse. That will give her the sense that you are willing to devote the time to her and no one else, and you want to fix what just happened. Now, take off the Spock ears and get more into the Captain Kirk mode. Gently reach across the table and hold her hand. Pull her close, slowly, then meet her half way while looking into her eyes. Tell her that the whole rest of the world just faded away. Now, bring your lips close to hers and see if she responds by pressing her lips to yours. If she still digs you and you survive that, tell her that, if she likes, there is more where that came from after the Trek – con.

.

And for Christ’s sake, DON’T MENTION THAT LUANN ONCE SAID YOU WERE A GOOD KISSER.

I remember an arc in the comic “Drabble.” Drabble’s inept son Norman scores a job posing as a character in an artwork at the Laguna Art Festival. He has to remain stationary and motionless for one minute. His family is there to watch and they’re proud of him. Sure enough – during the one minute, Norman’s cell phone rings – and HE ANSWERS IT! Norman explains to his embarrassed family that he doesn’t get many calls…

Okay – this cannot end well.Boy, oh boy… ol’ Gunth can’t catch a break with the ladies, can he?

As one of the very few who has not purchased a cell phone, my question to everyone else is, Why do you have to answer it EVERY TIME it rings? Do you ever shut it off? I hear them go off in church! During lectures, and funeral services! Why is it so important to stay connected every moment of the day?

Gunther you should have turn the cell phone off. And your friends just blew your date. Way to go Luann and OX.

I gotta ask: what’s Gunther’s middle name – “putz?”

My friends and I text each other at all hours and wouldn’t think twice about texting at an inopportune time. Same with my spouse. We all keep our phones on silent and only look if it’s a good time. My daughter (college age) also texts me whenever the mood strikes. She knows I’ll not answer when busy or when it would be rude, I’ll respond when I see the text. Same goes with her, her phone is silent and answers when timing is right.

When Luann texted Gunther, I would hope she assumed he’d have his phone off while on a date or at the very least on silent and put away. So when she said “Call me!” maybe she thought he’d be reading that text after his date. So the urgency could’ve been meant for a post date text reading, which seems more harmless.

So based on my own personal experiences, I can’t blame Luann for texting Gunther during his date. But I do agree she should’nt have engaged in a converstation when he called. Her comments earlier this week about “fooling around” and saying Bet’s name in a familiar way also seemed a bit off and kind of obtuse. So, maybe there is some subconscious sabatoging going on here.

The more I look at the last panel it appears that Bets is genuinely hurt. She took a chance on someone who can’t even show her the respect of their undivided attention. Sad.

Turn the sound of your phone OFF! Putz!

Gunth, have a brain. Put the phone down. OTOH, if Bets can’t handle your friends, she’s not right for you

To repeat what I said yesterday, TURN OFF THE PHONE!

You’re blowing it, Gunther! Unless he’s subconsciously sabotaging it because he really doesn’t want to be on the date.

Bets is either going to end the date now or tell him that it’s over if he touches that phone one more time.

Hey now. There’s 50-50 chance Gunny will pull this off. But not without suffering first.

On the other hand, G&K might pull a fast one. Bets may be here as someone else’s G/F. After this mess she changes her mind and gives Les , not Gunther, another chance. Les realizes his good fortune and becomes a decent human being, and Bets becomes Les’ first REAL girlfriend. Ann hates Bets (you name the reason) only cause Les to Iove Bets all the more.

Gunther finally learns some common sense and how to keep his big mouth shut. Luann, feeling sorry for him starts to date him, causing indescribable fan outrage. He later starts dating Tiffany, much to My delight!

resigns in the Fall putting the VP in charge who loses the election in 2020 to an unknown charismatic 3rd party candidate who loves making tasteless, sarcastic remarks and loves drinking COFFEE. He wins the nation over with his slogan: “HOW the H3LL???” And with his best seller: “On the other hand…..,”

During his third term the US invades Brazil insuring cheap COFFEE for decades to come!

As I pointed out, Bets has yet to use HER phone on this date.

What if the next text is from Les telling Gunther:

“Hey LOSER! When you’re done screwing up your date, tell Bets a REAL Man is waiting for her!”

Or to Bets:

“Hey, Babe! I’m a Man who believes in in second chances! Why don’t you ditch the DWEEB, and come over and see Me later, and I SHOW how to explore the galaxy!”

Gunther would freak, Bets would be appalled, and BOTH would finally focus on EACH OTHER after turning THEIR DAMN PHONES OFF!

Imagine. Les (GAG) saves the day…….,

Danger, Will Robinson!!

She apparently doesn’t want to be with someone who has friends that are going to butt into their relationship.

I really get annoyed at how Gunther is never allowed to be happy.

If you want to save your date, Gunther, TURN OFF YOUR PHONE!

I can see Luann and Ox (and maybe MAYBE even Les) together in The Fuse talking about Gunther’s date really happy for him. They are great friends♡. Precious friends. If Bets has a problem with this, she can walk away.

What a putz. Missed opportunity for a relationship with someone he had something in common with. Say goodnight Gunthie, your date is about to.

Gunther doesn’t exactly have a lot of experience with dates. And he pals around with people who group date to the point of passing off a digital date (Quill on video chat) onto him for him to keep the phone company for a bit.

He’s just got to drop the phone and realize this is a one-on-one time right now.

If he can do that, he’ll be fine.

But G&K already neglected to let Bets overhear him call her “smart and fun” to another friend. So probably not, this time around.

Saying a prayer to the comic gods to not let Gunther completely bungle this date. He means well but is just incredibly inept in the world of dating since he hasn’t had much experience and was basically a mama’s boy for, well most of his life. Liking Bets so far, would like to see more of her with Gunther.

Gunth…. Rule #1 of “milenia dating….” – " Don’t ‘dis’ your date! Ignore the smartphone!"

He can salvage this. Turn off the phone.

I love to see how many readers psychoanalyze and offer solutions for characters of a comic strip.

This is only Friday. By Saturday, Bets will show Gunther what he could be missing and plant a firm kiss on him. Then, hand in hand, they will be off to the Star Trek thingy.

A little advice Betts. Gunthie is such a disaster that he qualifies for FEMA relief. Evacuate the area now!

Bets said upfront that she had “baggage,” that she always seemed to wind up dating a jerk. It is time for some of that baggage to show up. I expect a re-play of the Brad-Toni-Dirk love triangle. A large Black guy that does not like White guys poaching on his territory and wimpy ones at that.

STEP AWAY FROM THE PHONE!

Bets is coming across as a very possessive woman. They just met and she’s already making demands on a relationship that has just started. Gunther, beware!

I wouldn’t say she’s jealous of Ox, I’d say it’s more the feeling like her date isn’t so private. Again it was a bad idea for Gunth to meet her at the Fuse, wherever everyone he knows is going to see it as a sideshow. that should have been done quietly and he should have silenced his phone and kept it in his pocket for the first date. The world can get along without constant contact for a few hours while I sets a first impression on a new potential love interest.

You are blowing it, dude!

Anyone catch the plug for Luann Againn?

Gunther need a new set of “friends.” He can start with Bets.

Time for Bets to bring Gunther up to date on dating “grown ups.”

This looks bad, but I still think jumping to conclusions might be premature. We know she does not like cheaters or liars, but Gunther has been totally honest with her. This might be salvageable if she is interested in Gunther and really wants a relationship generally, and we his honest, smart self in particular. I still hold out hope. Gunther needs a separation for Luannverse because it is just as smothering with its blind love as his mom. I hope, in a way, that Bets can be his Uncle Al, a lot cuter. Please Gnk liberate the Gunth!!!

Given the pace of comic time to real time, did smart phones exists when Gunther had a girlfriend? I love the comments from cantankerous Luddites proudly saying they don’t have a cell phone, but comment on message boards…LOL.

Unless you are a doctor taking medical emergencies, or unless you have a family member in critical medical condition….NO phone calls or texts during dates. That’s just rude.

Remember, this is Karen’s idea of men, doofus little boys.

If he were a doctor on call, that’s a whole different ball of wax. But he isn’t. This is just rude behavior and on top of that, I, myself, would resent that I was being discussed behind my back by my date’s friends. Are they telling him I’m a 10? A bow-wow? What??? I would HATE that. My date would have to shut that phone off NOW and on top of that, would have to behave like a total gentleman and show a LOT of interest in me for me to continue the date. And/or to give him a second chance.

hmm. Sounds like Bets is too clingy for him.

She’s really letting her sketchy boundaries show right out of the gate, isn’t she? Hmmmm….Check, please?

Sometimes it doesn’t “take a village”. lol

Gunther is no expert in the dating arena – thus his faux pas with the tech is sort of excusable (not condoning it, but does he really not know better?) Not that Bets would know this; however, I do agree she has the right to be annoyed at the situation.

Well looks like this date is pretty much done. Luann just couldn’t leave Gunther alone! Plus he felt he just HAD to call her back. I’ll bet it was HER idea to have Ox send a Smiley Face too! That just doesn’t seem like something Ox would do on his own. Honestly, even if everyone’s intentions were good their hovering and smothering ( which Gunther has allowed and encouraged) have messed things up so much with Bets it may be beyond repair. Really really sad—but he brought it on himself by answered Luann’s pestering texts!

This Gunther dating storyline is stupid.

GunTHERRRR!!!

As I said earlier – and it was and IS advice to HIM:

“Hailing … Frequencies … CLOSED!!!”

For a guy who’s such a conscientious host, he’s a real idiot with it comes to common courtesy. Not being in your phone on a date- especially a first date- is basic manners. And Gunther would have been the first one to call someone else out on it. Honestly, can this whole storyline die already? Bets is too good for him anyway.

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From Bets perspective… it seems all too obvious that Gunther has way too much baggage… and I can fully understand Bets unhappy face in the last panel. If I were Bets, given the scant information I actually know about Gunther…. added to all the intrusions by Luann, Les, and Ox…. I would be getting the mindset that either:

1) This whole date action was some sort of shared, communal, poor-taste joke that she is being set up on.

2) If this is “real”, then Gunther appears to be “way too involved” with his “friends” if he cannot even maintain focus on his date during the damn date.

Now… we the readers…. know the backstory and can understand what is happening better (not that we like it any better). But, seriously at this point…. if I were Bets…. I would now get the hell out of there and never look back.

I have waited 2 weeks to try and find out why Bets would use a online dating service. She is very very pretty with a nice little shape. She should have no problems finding dates on her own. Maybe she is to controlling??

C’mon, don’t blow it, Gunther. Turn the damn phone OFF.

Turn. Off. The. Phone.

Bets seems to be just a little bit controlling.

It does not appear that they will Live Long and Prosper together.

Greg – don’t do this…too trite…too much of a comic trope. Give Gunther a chance to have at least something that lasts a bit more than a weekly arc.

Respect is the issue: turn off the phone for a while and be with that person you’ve asked to go out with you. It’s insulting to be put in second-place to everyone else.

Gunther, turn the phone OFF!

Perhaps it will dawn on Gunther that things are not going right when Bets goes into the Trek – Con with him and instead leaves with a Tribble.

I don’t think Bets is jealous of Ox or Luann. She just doesn’t want them monitoring her date with Gunther, who characteristically is completely clueless. What a pathetic dweeb. Les knows this and loves tormenting his loser roomie. I enjoy it myself.

“Beam me up, Scotty, I’m out of this date” (apologies to Star Trek).

Turn off phone. Turn off phone. Turn off phone. Turn off phone. Turn off phone. Turn off phone. Turn off phone. Turn off phone. Turn off phone. Turn off phone.

TURN OFF PHONE. TURN OFF PHONE. TURN OFF PHONE. TURN OFF PHONE. TURN OFF PHONE. TURN OFF PHONE.

Any of you Gunther supporters, remind me WHY you root for him? He is DUMB! He may be a good engineering student, but he has zero emotional intelligence. Bets can definitely do better than him.

Gunther can do better than Bets. She’s possessive, and on the first web date, yet! Imagine how she’d be if his friends stopped in to see him when she’s at his house? or if Luann should be around – jealous? Forget her even if she is a Trekkie.

Love the extra “N”…reference to the throwback comic…

Cell phones are indifferent servants and dreadful masters.

Farewell Bets, we hardly knew ye……Pity really, she seemed like she could have been and interesting new character. But then, so did Piro, and he got sent to purgatory (or wherever) a long time ago. I don’t think Greg knows how to write for his new characters. I sometimes think he doesn’t know how to write for his OLD characters, which is why he keeps falling back into the same well-worn groove. As in:

Gunther is a clueless loser, he’ll never win, HA HA.

Luann is a boy-crazy ditz, desperate for a man (kinda like Sally on the old Dick Van Dyke show) HA HA.

Tiffany is a greedy, spoiled material girl who thinks her looks will get her anything, and again, HA HA.

Oh well.

As far as Bets being clingy or possessive, I disagree. The poor woman just wanted to go have a nice time at a Trek con with a fellow Trekkie nerd. She WANTED to date Gunther——-NOT Gunther and company. Time enough later (if there is a later) for her to get to know his friends. Instead of focusing his attention on her, Gunthy is taking and answering calls and texts from his friends in the middle of their date. Yes, his friends are to blame for doing it, but Gunthy’s to blame for ALLOWING them to do it. He could easily ignore them. She has a right to be annoyed and upset. If the situation were reversed—if BETS was the one getting constant phone interruptions from HER friends—-everyone would rise up and condemn her for treating lil Gunthy that way.

Its not unrealistic to expect his undivided attention on a date. Gunth should never have answered that call from Luann

Buh bye, Bets

One day left in this comic week. I think someone else will contact Gunther Saturday, probably his mom. The last panel will show Bets walking out.

All Bets are off now?

Putting this in terms Gunther can understand:“RED ALERT! RED ALERT! Unauthorized intrusion into secured space! Deflector shields at maximum! Initiate E.M.P. to disable all external communications!”

I totally understand why Bets is annoyed and frustrated at this point – TOTALLY. But I’m not sure I like how she’s (literally) showing her displeasure. It’s a passive-aggressive move, almost a shaming move, that could cut off all conversation. That Bets didn’t use a gentler approach seems to suggest that these two don’t, collectively, have the communication skills to make it as a couple.

Sad, but true, Gunther’s life, his destiny, will always be that “slippery slope”. His legacy will be “a hat full of rain,” and his love life will be a one night stand, hopefully not producing another albatross like Shannon. Greg is no Wizard of Oz, and there is no yellow brick road in Pitts. Happy day! Happy day!

Guys! What if Gunth’s phone rings one more time…and it’s Rosa? Back from Peru! And looking for some dweeb company!

Just kidding. This will all amount to nothing very soon. Are we on week one or two of this arc?

Focus, Gunther, focus! No one wants a date to ignore her or him. Just turn off your phone for now. That lesson is pretty much from the first week of Dating 101…

Evans, don’t screw this up.

ONE – little – tiny – bright spot here: Gunther DID show her his phone (he didn’t have to, or hesitate indoing so), and that it was Ox, and him only.

Gunther can either FINALLY get the message to shut the phone OFF … or this date truly IS over! …

Jealous of Ox? Gunther has friends?

Bets likely doesn’t have any idea of who Ox is other than he works at a cafe, if she even knows that. And why, even if your friends are happy for you, would they text you at the beginning of a date, any date, let alone knowing it’s a first time date, first time meeting?

And no, he is not WITH you. He is with you (lower case), he is WITH (upper case) his (what you call) friends. Big difference. You just happen to be there while he’s with his friends, the way you make it sound.

“Nobody likes clingy or possessive types. You JUST met him and it is unrealistic to expect him to worship you and ignore his friends.” You’re right, you JUST met him, but you’re wrong “it unrealistic to expect him to…ignore his friends.” You, or in this case Bets, are his friend and it’s shouldn’t be unexpected that your first meeting and exploratory first time together should be about the two of you. He can “unignore” his other friends later, in a little while, after he finishes what he’s now doing, unless you’re saying that everything he does must come to a standstill if his “friends” want to simply contact him, talk to him, be “happy” with him. Unless she with the fourth person on a double date with Gunther and another couple. The alternative would be she, the new person, joins the group’s members on a group activity, and that’s not what was planned, was it.

I’ve read theses Luann comments over the years and have hesitated to throw in my less than two-cents worth, but I couldn’t help but find the opening for this post, “NOW I am concerned. Bets is jealous of OX? Hey, Gunther has FRIENDS. They are happy for him and text him. No big deal. Roll with it, Bets.” so out of place I decided to respond.

As for “Someday, if you and Gunther decide to date…”, they are on a date, however formal or informal it is. It should be expected that Gunther and Bet’s concentration should be on each other and on “them”, learning about each other, not on outs

She’s not jealous. It is incredibly rude to be on your phone when on a date or talking with a live person. Gunther deserves to be taken down a peg for that behavior. As do a lot of other folks. Including those pestering him when they know he is busy. That’s etiquette, not jealousy, not possessiveness.

I have an idea whereby Gunther could salvage this situation in a dramatic and creative way. He should take Bets outside, smash the phone with a large rock (if there is pond or lake, throw it in), then say “i’m sorry I’ve acted like the total jerk and dweeb that I am… forgive me and let’s just go to the convention… if you’ll still have me…”

Might be cartoon characters, yes, but this is mirroring the lack of decorum and civility one sees in our world. It’s a comment on that, not simply a cartoon. A point is being made here that has nothing to do with cartoon characters.

Am I the only one who noticed that Bets said, “Luann Againn?” Two N’s like the comic page below.

In addition to possible autistic conditions, let’s not forget that Gunther’s Mom treated him like a baby into his late teens. Mom didn’t get up and leave when Gunther made a boo-boo.

and so it ends….

Gunther….dude…Rule #1 on ANY outing (especially dates!): Never take your cell phone out unless its an emergency. This is salvageable still, but he’s really screwing this up.

Tomorrow Bets should get up and walk out. Gunther deserves it. The next time we see an arc with Gunther, he should be telling off Luann and then distancing himself from her. He needs to go out and get a job so he can afford somewhere to live on his own. Then he can work on starting new friendships.

Greg, WHY must you torture us along with your characters? Sigh.

Very curious to see how Saturday’s strip closes out this arc. (PLEASE don’t drag it out another week.) I’d like to see Gunther apologize, express that he’d really like to turn this first date around, and go off arm-in-arm to the Trek event with this very kind, gracious, and beautiful Bets. But I’m dreading that Bets will walk off in the first panel and Gunther will get on his phone to blame a clueless bewildered Luanne.

Gunther’s mom will come over to the gulag later, tuck them in, and leave them warm milk and cookies. That is, if Gunther survives Bet’s “Gunthyashi Maru” test.

.

If that scenario does not happen, Dick Dastardly and Muttley will befriend him and they will go from misadventure to misadventure ‘till the end of time. Ya just gotta love Muttley’s wheezing smoker’s laugh. Get used to it Gunth…

The correct response to this abbreviated acquaintanceship, friendship, association, or whatever term is suitable today is, WHY DO YOU WANT TO KNOW?

Another perfectly good date ruined by an overly enthusiastic cheering section!

Time for Gunther to POINTEDLY turn off his phone, thereby forcing the buttheaded buttinskies to buttout.

Uh oh, it looks like Luann and Ox ruin his date.

Ya know kids, it is possible to turn the dang phone OFF and just enjoy the moment you’re in.

he should have stayed with Rosa.

Gunther deserves every tiny bit of happiness.

That said – the lessons here that Gunth might learn is this:

DO NOT INTRODUCE YOUR NEW DATE TO YOUR FRIENDS OR FAMILY RIGHT AWAY.

Friends, family – and of course, frenemies – whether it’s well-meaning or just plain mean, will interfere and pretty much ruin everything.

And the other lesson?

TURN OFF YOUR PHONE. BOTH PHONES.

You’re blowing it, dude. AGAIN. Turn the phone OFF! You can do that, you know!

On a date, the human in front of you takes priority over the one on the phone. Turn the damn thing off and pay attention to the date. If you don’t, this can happen to you. Then your only date will be the phone.

KABLOOIE! There goes Gunny’s Great Date with Bets.

Luann, go be a pest in some other comic strip. Maybe you could find a job in Cathy (if that still runs?).

Gunther, learn this: there are times when you shut your phone off! Or else.

This is what “or else” looks like. Bets’ happy face….

I think Bets is looking for someone a little more mature than Gunther, not sure she’s gonna find him in this misbegotten cast of characters.

All very cute, but now it’s time again for Queen Tiffany to lose a few pounds, a few items of attire, and rise up so all may gaze upon the magnificent love goddess of Pitts. Bets will stand in awe, Luann will dare not challenge her superior glamor, and Gunther’s knees will turn to water.

His Friends are ruining his Date.

Thanks a Bunch, guys.

Poor Gunther. Evan’s has him destined to be the Charley Brown of the Luannverse. No matter how hard he tries he just can’t win. He will always miss the football, get his kite stuck in the tree, and will always get a rock on Halloween. He will always be the whipping boy in the strip.

Gunther…please…turn off the damn phone!!!!!

The date is over. Gunth should have kept his phone off during the date, but Bets is still over-reacting. Maybe it is best to say good-bye to Bets after all.

Don’t give up the ship……Bets just may decide to climb his rigging.

Gunther, I get you’re probably inexperienced, but you are so blowing it if you can’t focus on the here and now with a person, she’s there to spend time with you, not to see you focus on something or someone else