Non Sequitur by Wiley Miller for October 28, 2024

  1. Ava2
    C  25 days ago

    If only

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    GreasyOldTam  25 days ago

    Needs one of those bowing alley pin setter things to drop down and sweep him out the door.

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    Superfrog  25 days ago

    Bingo.

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    mr_sherman Premium Member 25 days ago

    It’s not high enough to work properly.

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    braindead Premium Member 25 days ago

    Wiley may set a record for likes with this one. It may exceed the capacity of the counter.

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  6. Wileecoffee3
    Need coffee  25 days ago

    If a telemarketer wastes six hours of other people’s time in a workday, (considering breaks and meetings), four telemarketers waste 24 hours.

    Thus, over a 242 day work year, approximately six telemarketers thus waste 365, 24 hour days.

    Thus, 480 telemarketers take away one entire 80 year lifetime within one year.

    Therefore, telemarketers are mass murderers and should be treated as such.

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    Concretionist  25 days ago

    At least it doesn’t have an automatic trap door on the floor…

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    desvarzil  25 days ago

    That elevator needs to open in the Pits of Hell.

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    Hoosier Guy  25 days ago

    I knew someone who was a telemarketer for a burglar alarm company. Her job was to go through the county’s newspaper, and note the addresses of reported burglaries and break-ins. The addresses were vague, like “the 700 block of Tremont Street”, but that was enough so that she would use the City Directory and call people who lived in the area, tell them about the breaking in their area, and try to sell them a burglar alarm.

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    jbordzol  25 days ago

    That’s too good for telemarketers!

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    Doug K  25 days ago

    Going down?

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    LawrenceS  25 days ago

    Oh come on! Even a telemarketer is smart enough to know that screams, “It’s a TRAP!”

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    dot-the-I  25 days ago

    Corduroy Guy must be a pit boss: Those actually making the calls often sound like millennials who would otherwise be saying, “Fries with that?”

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    [Traveler] Premium Member 25 days ago

    Should get the shaft

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    Cerabooge  25 days ago

    Darn Wiley bears went into hibernation too early.

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    Twelve Badgers in a Suit Premium Member 25 days ago

    That’s a survivable fall. The elevator needs to go at least 40 feet higher.

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    GentlemanBill  25 days ago

    Too low. That fall is survivable.

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    Slowly, he turned...  25 days ago

    Poll takers are up one floor.

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    baskate_2000  25 days ago

    Right where they belong — trash calls in the trash.

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    PassinThru  25 days ago

    By definition, telemarketers wouldn’t be there in person…

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    sandpiper  25 days ago

    There’s a ward in Hell for telemarketers. They get strapped to a desk and ear phones plugged into a console that plays back 4 ring tones and every answer they ever received when they did cold calls.

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    MC4802 Premium Member 25 days ago

    My first glance had a hangman’s rope around his neck, but then realized the corners of the wall were the line I was seeing. Agree with the bowling pin sweeper. Need a dumpster.

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    dflak  25 days ago

    I’ve seen a telemarketer call center. If my only choices were that job or being a galley slave chained to an oar, it would be a tough decision to make.

    A person must be truly desperate to take such a job and I imagine none of them like their work. It’s not the people who are on the phone that are the cause of your inconvenience, but the mega-corporation that employs them. There is probably a thousand to one disparity in salary between the CEO of the company and the worker. I do not think I exaggerate.

    The callers themselves are barely-willing cogs in a big machine.

    Yes, I know. If it’s that bad, why don’t they just quit and get another job?

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    1953Baby  25 days ago

    I haven’t been contacted by a telemarketer in years. I thought, with the plethora of websites and all, they’d gone the way of the dinosaur. . .

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    poppacapsmokeblower  25 days ago

    Bit of an oxymoron, an in person telemarketer.

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    lisaegray  25 days ago

    Too good for them…

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    awcoffman  25 days ago

    Dante would have devised a special circle for them

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    IndyW  25 days ago

    Exit not high enough, and should have a pit full of rabid alligators.

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    dadlivonia  25 days ago

    It should empty on an alley with Wiley’s bears

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    SrTechWriter  25 days ago

    I have a method …

    If my phone says it is a scam call – OR I answer and no one responds immediately – I say in a very bored , recording-like tone: “Your call came through as a Spam call, and I don’t take those. Please remove my name and number from your call list” and then hang up. Usually, this gets my name/number removed.

    I’ve had a couple of them who took this as a challenge, and tried calling back every few minutes to try and find a way around my message. The worst one called me 43 times in 1 hour. I reported him after the third call, for scam calling and invasion of privacy. Then at 57 minutes the calls suddenly stopped. About 20 minutes later, a county judge called me to verify that I had reported him. A cop had arrested him for invasion of privacy, and had impounded his cell phone, which had a record of all the calls.

    :^D

    The phone companies make me mad, though. It used to be that I could just put my phone down, leaving the connection live. That jammed up the caller’s phone, because they couldn’t disconnect. Each time they hung up and then tried to get a dial tone – or the automated system tried to make a new call – the line was locked active. The spammers reacted – virulently – complaining to the phone companies. The phone companies’ attorneys fretted that this might constitute a safety hazard if a line was jammed and an outgoing emergency call could not be made. The phone companies installed a timer – one that automatically releases the connection if there is no vocal activity within a certain period – usually less than a minute. Dang it.

    I really loved tying up those guys’ phones for hours. And since I had a multi-line phone, I still could make outgoing calls.

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  31. The rat
    Ratkin Premium Member 25 days ago

    I’m surprised at all the vitriol. I haven’t been bothered by telemarketers in a long time. Google blocks nearly all spam calls without me even knowing it. When I do get one from an unknown number, I just tap Screen and Google’s automated answering bot spits out a message telling them it’s an automatic screening service from Google and to say their name and message. I see it in written form. If it’s a call I want, I answer, but most just hang up at that point. I have an Android phone, but I imagine Apple has something like that.

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    pheets  25 days ago

    YES. PLEASE!

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    ladykat  25 days ago

    Unfortunately, it’s not that easy.

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    pharang  25 days ago

    That is far too benign. How about a shark tank or a bear pit?

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    wildlandwaters  25 days ago

    thank goodness for caller ID and voicemail!

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    lnrokr55  25 days ago

    Takes 2 to tango, why are you answering the phone Grandma ??? ;-)

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    Cactus-Pete  25 days ago

    Don’t see any doors in the back of the elevator, so this doesn’t make any sense at all. (In most elevators you go out the same doors you go in.)

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    Durak Premium Member 25 days ago

    So they go in the one door, then the door on the side opens up to let them out into the dumpster?

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    mindjob  25 days ago

    Telemarketing is for people with no discernible skills, unless annoying people is a skill

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    Smeagol  25 days ago

    Replace the trash cans with jungle warfare booby traps.

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    rsam  25 days ago

    When you get in the elevator through a front door it goes up a bit and then likely a back door on the elevator opens where you step and fall outside right over the garbage cans.

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    jbruins84341  25 days ago

    Needs to have a pusher to shove him out.

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    Jack7528  24 days ago

    Bet the guy feels unwelcomed!

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    johnec  24 days ago

    Why isn’t the back wall moving forward?

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    keenanthelibrarian  24 days ago

    Would you buy an on-line ad from that man?

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    eddi-TBH  24 days ago

    The one for the corporate owners opens on the 10th floor.

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    mistercatworks  24 days ago

    If, really, the only job you can find is as a telemarketer, IMMEDIATELY get in touch with a suicide hotline. It is the most soul-destroying occupation currently available, that is still legal.

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    TexTech  24 days ago

    My phone often tells me Telemarketer, Spam, or recently, Political. Those immediately get ignored. I moved out of Texas five years ago but still have my Texas phone number. Any call “from” Texas is immediately dumped unless it is one of the two or three people in Texas I might still hear from. I wish spoofing telephone numbers was illegal. That would shut down a lot of these boiler room operations.

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    freewaydog  24 days ago

    :D HA HA!

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    ImaginaryFriend  24 days ago

    I am sure there are good telemarketers out there, take for instance the ones from… ok, I cannot think of a good example.

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    JH&Cats  24 days ago

    The ones that are trying to scam you, as opposed to those just looking for sales and saying so, make me feel that I ought to warn the poor wage slaves who make the calls. I know you’re not supposed to engage with them, just hang up; but I try to tell the young humans not to enable the frauds. Of course, they are probably told that they’re randomly monitored, so they can’t accept my concern out loud. But I hope they can somehow break away soon and do better elsewhere.

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    [Unnamed Reader - 14b4ce]  24 days ago

    If you hear a “poit” before you hear a voice,hang up

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    unfair.de  23 days ago

    Not high enough.

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