Luann by Greg Evans and Karen Evans for December 24, 2024

Twas the day before Christmas, and all over the Luann Forum…

Were complainers and trolls and readers waiting for ’em.

“This arc is boring” they said, “Bernice really sucks”

When they should have been thinking of 8 flying Bucks.

…Or something like that. LOL ;)

I’m surprised they haven’t shown any of the presents being opened. Maybe they’re waiting to do that tomorrow.

So why was Bernice in the Sunday Christmas celebration strip but she’s not in the weekday one?

This once again feels like a callback to this particular strip: https : // www . gocomics . com / luann / 2021 / 02 / 21

Seriously, Frank is old.

At least we never saw what disaster those T-shirts were.

The moon on the breast of the newfallen snow .. (snerk!)

I still believe that Toni’s pregnant

I thought this was kind of cute. I love it when my wife still laughs at my jokes. Of course, she doesn’t laugh at the old ones.

Toni’s expression is like “This is Christmas – give Dad a break.”

Puddles looks surprised (concerned, even?) about Nancy’s snork…

Jokes become less and less funny from constant repetition.

Never in my life did I think to stop there. Now it’s ruined for me. LOL

No one is wearing their favorite colors, but Frank is wearing Toni’s favorite color, and Toni is wearing Luann’s.

GNORF

Nancy can’t stifle her giggles because she’s thinking of the other tradition Frank likes to bring up on Christmas eve.

Endless Giggles?

" Night before Christmas" classic?

Gnorf!!!

Made me laugh. Good work.

Wow, Family.

Whats that like?

I am alone on Christmas with my fur and feather friends, here on the mountain where the snow never ends.

Nobody is coming, nobody cares, noone to cook for or share my good wares.

Im tired of Christmas, no family no faces, not been invited to no fancy places.

But this is my last Christmas, you see, because I am tired of living this life so crazy.

So I wish you adieu, I am leaving this earth,

On Christmas Day, the day of his lord’s birth.

It’s been real everybody, but I am done now.

Fare thee well and speak kindly of me now.

Throwing up is funny when you’re three. Also farting. Less so when you’re 6. By the time you are 19 it’s not funny at all unless you’re holding Bernice’s hair as she rides the porcelain bus.

I know I’m showing my age, but I remember when Price Charles married Lady Diana Spencer. There was a novelty song released toasting their nuptials.

“Drink up, drink up, drink up Chuck and Di”

’Twas the night before Christmas, the booze was allotted,

Not a creature was stirring, they were all too darn potted.

The stockings were scattered, the room was a state,

We all missed the chimney, we couldn’t see straight.

The children were snug in their beds, (at Aunt Thalia’s)

So the grownups could revel in wild Bacchanalias.

Mamma drank the vodka and I drank the rum,

Then we stumbled to bed so St. Nicholas could come.

When out on the lawn there arose such a cursing,

I sprang from the bedclothes, my throbbing head nursing.

Away to the window I flew like a flash,

Tore open the shutters and threw up the sash.

Then threw up my dinner, the nachos and chips,

The pretzels, the beer and the salsa and dips.

My wife sort of wheezed at me, “Are you in pain, Dear?”

When I noticed I’d puked on a sleigh, and eight reindeer….

(And it continues in the same vein for many verses)

Nancy’s crackin up cause she’s thinkin of th clay Chia toupee an seeds she bought Frank for Christmas

Reminds me of the kid who asked what the expression “tore his leather” meant.

Or they prefer Tom Smothers doing the same thing.

Be thankful Frank.

Nancy still thinks it’s “amusing.”

Arosesuchaclatter ladder company

In Catholic grade school, we used to eagerly await singing “Good Christian Men Rejoice”, so that we could enthusiastically sing the line ♪ “Ox and AASSSS be­fore Him bow” ♪ . ;-)

who is the girl with the black hair?

This is why they’re called dad jokes. Merry Christmas!

Love Nancy’s laugh.

At least person is still laughing at you, Frank.

Love Nancy’s reaction. Classic.

MERRY CHRISTMAS!

That is love in action. I always chuckled at all of my husband’s corny old jokes. Time after time after time. LOL

Nancy still gets Frank. :)

My bros & I liked this version……..“Away to the window I flew like a flash, tore open the shutters and fell on my a$$.”

I’ve always wondered … all shutters I’ve seen are outside so that, when closed, they protect the glass from the elements. From inside the room, don’t you have to throw up the sash first before you can tear open the shutters? Doesn’t rhyme that way, though.

grandma has ruined this song for my family forever ago… and still does. :j

Sirs:

He clasps the crag with crooked hands;

Close to the earth in lonely lands,

Ringed with the azure world, he stands.

The wrinkled sea beneath him crawls;

He watches from the mountain walls,

And like a thunderbolt, he farts.

—Al Tennyson

Westminster Abbey

London, England

Tonight, we open our presents. Tomorrow, everyone shows up for ham and scalloped potatoes, pinocle and Trivial Pursuit, cookies and truffles. And for the adults, eggnog for Mom (my wife) and daughter #2, beer for me and gin and tonic for daughter #1 and her guy. Don’t worry, we’ve got plenty of bedrooms for everyone to sleep it off.

Give Dad a bottle of Metamucil.

The carols tell us that Santa had a substance abuse issue: “They know that Saaaaanta’s on his waaaay… he’s loaded…”

I suppose every family has those Christmas traditions that most everyone is apathetic about but one or two really love. I know my family does.

I think the reading of Clement’s “Twas the Night Before Christmas” will have to wait until Shannon is there, Frank. Especially, the way Nancy is trying so hard not to laugh out loud ( I would say until there are DeGroot grandchildren old enough to sit, and, listen to his reading of that story, but Luann doesn’t have any prospects, and, Brad, and, Toni seem to still be in the preparing to preparing stage."

Maybe it’s time for the BIG stuff – give ’em A Christmas Carol (one stave/chapter a night until Christmas Day).

Hey Lu, if you can’t contain your boredom for five minutes to let your dad read a poem, why doncha go sit in the garage with the Pontiac running?

GNORF?? They borrowed from BC’s inappropriate expressions

Merry Christmas Eve, everyone!

GNORF!!

Aww but his wife is having a good laugh!

Nancy still finds the pause funny, I think she is sincere and not doing it to please Frank. It’s sweet to see that Toni is the only one, besides Puddles, who notices Nancy’s giggle. Toni respects Nancy very much and this side of her seems to amaze her.

This reminds me of their time two of my sisters and I we’re discussing something, the middle sister used the word duty the youngest and I giggled and said “You said doody!”

Gotta love the ‘GNORF’. (❁´◡`❁)

I’ve read the “Cajun Night Before Christmas” for the past 30 years to my nieces and nephews and now great nieces and nephews.

I missed doing it last year.

Santa was still in his “Thomas Nast” stage when this was written.2024 kids wouldn’t recognize him.

And get Dad a toupee’ for Christmas.

I was going “GNORF” too, after seeing that GNORF.

Who’s on the far right of the couch laughing?

His chlldren should give dad a break and get into the Christmas spirit as he really enjoys his part in the celebration.

Well at least Nancy still finds it funny.

Well, Nancy still think it’s funny, so 1 out of 3 isn’t a total loss.

There’s nothing more disgusting than the sight of shutters vomiting.

Those shirts look good with nothing written on them

Not knowing what a sash was as a kid I figured it was something he’d eaten.

Dad Jokes are timeless !

Greg has a strange sense of humor.

’Twas the Night Before Christmas, the Amazon Edition

‘Twas the night before Christmas, and all through the town, Not a package was stirring; they’d all been sent down. The stockings were hung by the chimney with care, In hopes that UPS soon would be there.

The children were nestled all snug in their beds, While visions of gadgets danced in their heads. And Mama in her hoodie, and I with my app, Had just settled down for a long winter’s nap.

When out on the lawn there arose such a clatter, I sprang from my couch to see what was the matter. Away to the window I flew like a flash, Tripped over the dog and knocked over the trash.

The moon on the breast of the new-fallen snow Lit up a big van idling softly below. When what to my wondering eyes should appear, But a UPS truck, and a driver with gear!

With arms full of boxes stacked high to the brim, I knew in a moment, “These must be for him!” More rapid than eagles, his footsteps they came, And he whistled and shouted and called out each name:

“Here’s Echo, here’s Kindle, here’s iPhone and Drone, A PlayStation, Hot Wheels, and a garden gnome! To the porch, to the stoop, to the door left ajar, Now dash away, stash away, gifts from afar!”

Like wrapping paper scattered on Christmas Day, The driver sped quickly without a delay. So up to the doorstep the packages flew, With a van full of treasures—and the driver did too.

And then, in a twinkling, I heard on the stoop, The shuffling and shifting of one final scoop. As I drew in my head and was turning around, Through the snow-muffled silence, there came a soft sound.

(continued)

He was dressed all in brown, from his head to his toes,With a cap pulled down snug to fend off the snows.A bundle of boxes he had flung on his back,And he looked like a Santa with a barcode-packed sack.

His eyes—how they twinkled! His dimples, how merry!His cheeks were windburned, his nose like a cherry.His Bluetooth earpiece buzzed faintly in tone,And his gloves scanned the labels as if on their own.

He spoke not a word, but went straight to his work,Delivered the goods, then turned with a smirk.And placing a clipboard beside his right knee,He tipped me a wink and was back in his seat.

He sprang to his van, gave the engine a roar,And away he sped off to deliver some more.But I heard him exclaim, ere he drove out of sight:“Happy Prime Shipping to all, and to all a good night!”

Nice family picture plus no Bernice makes. It that much better

I’m glad to see that Mom still enjoys this!!! ❤️

I’d like a nice hairpiece to put on my head,

Over th years all the follicles simply went dead,

Yep, a really nice hairpiece to cover my dome,

‘Cause right now it’s smoother than butter and shinier than chrome

Get rid of Bernice for a while. Bring back Delta.

Throw Up humor fades when you are an EMT.

I always found it amusing when Saint Nicholas turned with a jerk.

The mother is happy. That’s all that matters in the If Mama Ain’t Happy, Ain’t NOBODY Happy guide to happiness.

Luann and Brad must have had their sense of humor removed. Thank god their mom still has hers.

Merry Christmas, everyone!

I think the remark “….our heads are older now…” may be what’s causing Nancy to crack up.

…and they’ve seen him throw up umpteen times, too!

Be thankful Frank on this day we celebrate Jesus berth that your kids and Daughter in-Law and wife healthy and happy.

When the wife still laughs at your jokes, you are doing OK. Merry Christmas, Happy Hannukah, Kwanzaa and Festivus for the rest of us!

I love that Nancy is struggling to stifle her laugh. We have to grow older, but we don’t have to grow up!