Non Sequitur by Wiley Miller for November 19, 2023

The freshest take on the horror genre is coming from Jordan Peele.

No one’s chips are safe.

Maybe it hasn’t been thought of before because sea gulls are not native to Japan. (Don’t know if they are or not but that could explain the lack of a Gullzilla.)

A crappy idea for a crappy monster.

If they can/will shoot down balloons, surely they take a shot at that.

How about “Gullnado”. Tagline: It’s a real (bleep)storm.

A gull that size would have snatched his cooler as it went by.

Now that I think about it, Gullnado seems more plausible than the you-know-what that did make it to screens (plus sequels). Oh, don’t forget about Cocaine Gull too.

There should be a statue of limitations.

Nobody’s guano pay to see that.

And before it dumps on you, it steals your food.

“Ghost Crab Story: Life’s a Beach … and then you Screech!”

Beach must be along the Potomac, east of DC. [Reader’s note: seems to lack a little energy today.]

The sequel will be Gullzilla versus The Wiley Bears.

People in Hollywood would be gullible enough to finance it…

If you believe THAT story you’re downright gullible.

Best poop joke ever!

It’s a natural for National Lampoon.

The plop thickens.

Didn’t Hitchcock do this one already?

Spoiler alert: In the movie’s end the people capture the bird and execute it with a gull-otine.

Needs more superheroes for that.

“Look, up in the sky!”

“It’s a bird!”

“It’s a plane!”

- – - S P L A T !!! – - -

“….. it’s a bird…”

When I was a kid we worried about flying whales.

Birdie, birdie in the sky. Why’d you do that in my eye. Boy I’m glad whales don’t fly.

Been done. The Flintstones movie had a Pterydactyl flying over & everybody running for cover b/f it dropped it’s payload.

Lucy looks different. I wonder what is up.

Guano With the Wind???

Don’t look up!

Ya know, with all the schlock coming from self-publishing and independent whatevers, there’s a better than average chance Danae’s script could make it to the screen. . .just another reason to keep the tv OFF. . .

Have you ever actually watched a movie about busting blocks?Maybe the Lego Movie.

EWWWWWWWWW!!!

THAT is coffee through the nose funny! Well done!

Blockbuster movies are so easy to write!!!

another crappy summer movie

Okay. That wins America’s Funniest Home Videos, or goes viral on YouTube/Tik Tok. But what are you going to do for the rest of the movie’s 90 minutes? Gotta do better than Sam Jackson going on about Snakes On A Plane.

Starring Steven Seagull

“If the foo sh!ts, wear it.”

Hitchcock’s “The Birds” was way ahead of you.

Gullzilla has a son, who only farts

Imagine what or how much Gullzilla must have to eat to make a poo-bomb that size!!

oh this one’s full of …..

Alfred Hitchcock comes to mind but he was a master of making horror while keeping it clean.

Ha! The Dropoff. Coming soon to a Gully near you!

Anyone who has been attacked or pooped on by a bird would be terrified.

Sounds like a load of sh-

Looks like a load of crap to me…

IJBOL…

When I read this one, all I could think of was the seagull from Wallace the Brave!

Nah. That plot will never fly.

So that’s what happened when Walter Peck went to the beach?

At the beach, anytime someone nearby feeds seagulls, I’m the one who gets splattered.

Re-working the same theme saves having to think up something new; so put Godzilla in the air? Seems plausible …

Yep, that’s about right. Gulls are beautiful in the air, but those of us who live where they are ever present know them as nasty, obnoxious, and a menace. The poop is the smallest part of it, but is caustic and substantial. They also eat the young of many species, and food out of the hands of humans. Especially during the time the fledglings are going out of the nest it’s almost impossible to eat outside. They rob food off of outdoor tables, and out of the hands of people walking on the street. Lost part of a sandwich that way about a year ago.

They sorta already did. Look up The Giant Claw (1957)

He’s in some deep sh**

MST3K fodder, if it were still on the air.

Sci-fi channel will love it.

Oh ick!

I thought it was the Blancmange.

The Japanese went with Mothra as their Flying Monster because they were trying to avoid this very scene.

Sir,the piranhas are eating the guests

He forgot to bring an offering.

This comic has spoiled my lunch (baarff).