Pearls Before Swine by Stephan Pastis for December 16, 2023

Does Pig know already he will die in an accident or does he intend to commit suicide a la Anna Karenina?

Wonder who it was that PIG got somebody angry enough at PIG that this unnamed person didn’t want to warn PIG about the train that killed PIG….dan aka…

Don’t you just hate that run-down feeling?

And the last word you will hear are “That is not light at the end of the tunnel”

The light at the end of the tunnel, right?

Watch as I imitate a deer in the headlights.

Pig suffers “Tunnel Vision”.

Why not feeds some poor hungry creatures instead of wasting delicious pork on train tracks?

The last thing go to through Pig’s mind will be that curly little tail.

“The Holy Grail is at Castle AAAAAARRRRGGGH!”

If I go before my wife, my last words will be, “You were the best thing that ever happened to me.” If I go after her, My last words will be, “I’m coming Elizabeth.” (Old “Sanford & Son” joke.)

Deer tracks. No, bear tracks. No Deer tracks. You’re wrong, bear tracks. They were then hit by a train.

The Great Big 18-wheeler of Death, comin’ THRU!!

In the spirit of Johnny Q’s Monty Python reference above, Pig’s last word before being run over would have been: Aaaaaaaaahhhh!

The best last words I’ve ever heard are from the Saga of Olaf Haraldson. A man named Thromod was hit by an arrow, and broke the shaft off. A young woman is tending to his wounds, and…

Then she took a large pair of tongs, and tried to pull out the iron; but it sat too fast, and would in no way come, and as the wound was swelled, little of it stood out to lay hold of. Now said Thormod, “Cut so deep in that thou canst get at the iron with the tongs, and give me the tongs and let me pull.” She did as he said… Then Thormod took the tongs, and pulled the iron out; but on the iron there was a hook, at which there hung some morsels of flesh from the heart, — some white, some red. When he saw that, he said, “The king has fed us well. I am fat, even at the heart-roots;” and so saying he leant back, and was dead.

“Toot-toot” ! Instant chopped ham!

Try not to get run over by a train when you’re in Britain, Pig. Our locos don’t have headlamps!

Hey y’all, watch this!

“It’s full of stars!”

My last words……“I just came to get my ticket validated.”

I want to die peacefully in my sleep like my grandfather. Not like his screaming passengers.

My last words will probably be: “Ohhh, shite!”

I’d probably say; “Boy, my life was screwed up.”

The question that comes to my mind is . . . Why is Pig wandering around on a railroad track, that is obviously inside a tunnel, at the end of his life?

This comic is both dark and light at the same time.

I hear that train a comin, it’s comin around the bend. JC

“Here, hold my beer”.

Mmmm, BLTs. Pig got thrown out of Culture Pigs because he could not resist BLTs.

Lemont: If you could have people say just one thing about you at your funeral … what would it be?

Clyde: Hey! Look! He’s breathing!

“There was a time in this great land when the railroad did not run…”

Often enough the light at the end of the tunnel IS the train.

“Mind that bus what bus splat.” — Rimmer, Red Dwarf Series III, “The Last Day”

I think my last words will be “here, kitty, kitty, kitty”

If pig is like most people, he likely won’t see the light.

I’ve lost count of how many people I’ve come up behind on the tracks who don’t seem to notice there’s a massive train approaching.

Train-kun.

That seems more like something Rat would say.

Move off the tracks Pig. Quick. Save the philosophical arguments for another day.

He will see the train, unlike those poor sobs who get shot at from helicopters

“Oh wow! Oh wow! Oh wow!”

~ Steve Jobs’ last words, as he slipped away.

Mine is either be, “Well, sh!t, that didn’t work.”, “F@cking airplane mechanic.”, or “It’s about dam time.”

I want mine to be…

“I knew I could never defeat you, lobo, but I never stopped fighting for this life.”

Pig on rails. I’ve been to the USA some 20 years ago and wanted to travel by rail. What a disappointment. Lousy tracks, too few of them and even fewer trains, never on time.

Pigtails. ( • ᴗ – )

glowball warrrrrmmmiing: clap, clap, clap-clap-clap

Mine will be a cough like sound.

A PESSIMIST sees a dark tunnel.

An OPTIMIST sees light at the end of the tunnel.

A REALIST sees a freight train.

The engineer sees 3 idiots standing on the tracks.

And running away on the tracks being too ignorant to simply jump sideways. Maximum risk, if you can jump, loss of a tail curl.

Pig is not the brightest, but at least he won’t hear himself saying “Hold my beer and watch this.”

I came into this world naked, soaking wet, and screaming at the top of my lungs, and I intend to go out the same way.

“Watch this!”

My last words will probably be, “Wish I had time for one more falafel sandwich!”

Ouch!

My last word will be “Huh?”

Poor prosaic Pig! How can anyone reply to him?

I would like to quote the last verse of Leonard Cohen’s great opus: “I did my best, it wasn’t much. I couldn’t feel what I tried to touch. I’ve told the truth; I didn’t come to fool ya. And even though it all went wrong, I’ll stand before the Lord of Song with nothing on my tongue but ‘Hallelujah.’”

My last words: “Oh, #$&% my life.” Or a simple “Figures”.