Luann by Greg Evans and Karen Evans for January 12, 2023

‘Nuf said! Now *that’s* motivation!

Good luck, Luann, at making your own $1,400,000,000 romance novel.

So she’s still drinking coffee with Tara at the Fuse. Wonder if she ever started to write something?

As Gru from Despicable Me would say, “Light bulb!”

Where are our flushed duo off to. Will we please meet Mr. “D?”

IVLAX See that? Romance is a moneymaker. Don’t scoff at the idea of romance as being a real thing. As if it’s just a dirty book to read for fun like guys do with Playboy mags. Women look at sex very differently from men and it is the words, not the pictures for the women. No wonder there is a book called Men From Mars and Women From Venus. Men and women are planets apart. Funny how that still manages to produce billions of humans on a planet called Earth….

Luann you always wanted to be a writer.

If Luann is thinking of trying her hand at writing romance, she’ll have to get over being scandalized by READING a book in the genre first. BUT it would be a very fun idea if Nancy, Luann, and Bernice collaborated on writing one. Who knows? It might be entertaining. Also RIP the theory that Tara was D. Coverly. I do hope we end up finding out who the author is and this isn’t just the dead end to the plot point.

I’m not a fan of romance novels, but when I’m checking out the e-book daily deals at the big river website, there are usually a few romance covers to view while searching for something more to my reading preferences. The one thing that confuses me is that the trend right now for covers is to show a bare, muscular male. More often than not, the head is cropped off and the lower body is cropped off near the hip bones. UGH! Looks more like somebody chopped off body parts so the torso would fit in a cooler or suitcase for proper disposal!

And that’s just books. Let’s hope this comic strip never discusses what sexy stuff on the internet makes.

Trashy with a T

Now, get back to research.

New Career? Or another misdirection?

Basic piece of advice given to aspiring writers:

“Write what you know”

That’d be interesting, seeing Miss Inner Beauty writing about romantic relationships and s-e-x.

Her first novel could be about a handsome boyfriend from a faraway country who gets way too involved in the theater and his lesbian thespian pal, and starts ignoring the heroine, leading to her taking a vow of lifelong celibacy. She might even throw in a scene that she picks up from her high school Health textbook.

For her second novel, she could write about a libidinous but uptight young student who panics about kissing an artsy emo type and becomes his platonic muse, leading to a life of celibacy.

But no ripping of bodices. And no heaving bosoms. (And no bosoms, for that matter.)

Just plagiarize the book – change the title, the character’s names, and the location. It will sell.

Tara – “By the way, speaking of “romance,” how is your yummy brother?”

Luann – “Oh, still “married.”

Tara – “Yes, but is it working??”

There was a Big Nate arc that started exactly like this.

I wonder how much Zane makes

Proof that sex sells https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Naked_Came_the_Stranger

It does earn oodles of cash, but the way in which it sometimes does it… sigh…

Let me explain.

In my country, Harlequin novels have been translated into our language and sold to uncountable amounts of women (and to at least one guy, i.e. yours truly). When this happens, the novels are changed a lot.

Description is cut away, as is other parts of the book, so that the plot will advance quicker. In the end, at least 15% of the entire novel is cut away. (Imagine the outrage if this were done to, say, the latest Harry Potter book or a new Star Wars movie.)

“Intimate” scenes are often rewritten enormously, into what is for all intents and purposes a different text entirely.

Ages of the characters are changed. A man who’s in his thirties might be in his forties here, to suit reader preferences.

One aspiring translator didn’t get the job, specifically because her trial translation had shown great respect to the original English text of the original novel, making sure to keep everything like in the original as much as possible, and not cutting away anything just to shorten the book. Affording the novel that kind of respect and integrity wasn’t just good, it was an actual problem. (According to the editors.)

Finally, several novels are often clumped together into one big collected paperback volume, whose front cover proudly boasts “4 novels for the price of 1!” The names of the novels’ authors are nowhere to be found on the cover, though. They are considered an unimportant detail not worth mentioning, since the publisher and the readers usually regard the writers as mostly interchangeable.

So when people ask why romance doesn’t get any respect from other people, I usually reply that it’s more important to ask why so many romance readers themselves don’t regard their beloved genre as art worthy of being treated with respect and integrity.

Uh – So far, I think Tara has a lot more material than Luann. However I’m glad to see Tara on the scene to help rescue Luann from her clueless state.

I like the pragmatic side of Tara. That knowing the facts and keeping them coldly into account, without saying whether she consider them a good or a bad thing. On her path for become a writer Luann really has a lot to learn, from Tara, from Bernice’s favorite author and many more. I hope she goes with her mother and BFF to the meeting (hopefully Tara will come too) and she will understands how to create that tension capable of keeping readers holding ​breath until the very end.

Money doesn’t equal quality. You know Barbara Cartland, the best-selling romance writer? Here’s a sentence from her novel A World of Love:

“It was certainly a great contrast to where he should really be living in the huge house in which his father and his ancestors before him had all been of great importance in the County.”

It’s the kind of semi-coherent phrasing that sounds okay if you skim it, but on further inspection comes off as a tyro writer trying to sound grandiose.

No offense to all the good romance writers out there, but more earnings doesn’t equal more quality.

Do we know where Tara managed to find a place to live?

$1.4 billion per year… And Tara will try to steal every penny…

Luann looks dumbstruck – with a B :D

It’s very odd that Luann is so negative about romance novels that she was openly mortified to learn that her friend and mother read them in private, yet she is willing to bring out a romance novel herself in public. Also strange that Nancy and Bernice gave Luann Peek of Passion (which they were very eager to read and have not yet done so) instead of Hard Days, Harder Nights (to which PoP is the sequel).

Huh, a billion bucks isn’t really all that much money… any number of movies make more than that… Top Gun Maverick and Avatar 2, for instance. Publishing is almost a cottage industry.

Typical of Gen Narcissist thinking that a person who’s never published a book in her/his life knows more about writing than a person who’s written and sold many books.

This from a cartoon! A cartoon with a lower ‘c.’

Sad commentary… isn’t it?

Maybe Luann can write a romance novel about lost love and how a woman constantly fails to find it again.

Tara’s not wrong. Romance readers typically read 3-5 books a week. It’s a huge and voracious market. I have friends who’ve written for the genre who were expected to turn in at least two and sometimes three books a year.

Romance is one of the few genres where there is a nonzero chance you’ll be able to quit your day job.

(I’m not saying it’s guaranteed. LOL, no. Just that it’s somewhere in the realm of possibility that one day you’ll be able to make a living at it.)

My mother’s church had a book lending library. It was about 95% romance novels.

so we’re following L discovering bodice rippers as opposes to Nancy and b getting all fan-girl.

Let’s review. We know Tara does wear panties but goes commando. Nancy and Bernice are getting all worked up over racy romance novels (Nancy can barely stand up at times).

Trying to remember if it was Luann or another strip that had a lesbian character visit for a while?

The possibilities are endless.

If the entire “romance” novel genre generates $1.4 billion in sales, what does the “adult” genre do in terms of sales? Of course that genre would be even harder for Luann to try and write for. She’s probably had a least a few dreams like a “Bodice Ripper,” but further? (Unless she’s dreamt of keeping going in that famous "third base "scene.)

I have the perfect title: “Donald and the Bloomingdale’s Dressing Room”

Are Karen and Greg contemplating leaving the comic strip profession and becoming romance novelists? They sure are giving it the hard sell. Maybe they’ve been recruited by Save Our Youth from Cyber Stupidity to help get kids reading again instead of spending all their time staring at their phones.

Oh, she thought it was million with a cold.

Remember, Luann received a prize for her first writing submittal. So there is potential there.

It’s obvious that Tara will be a romance novel writer. It’s been the set up since Luann got into the writing shtick!

This genre represents the lowest common denominator possible, hence the dumbest.

$1.4 Billion… Now, think about this. The military’s F-35’s aggregate development cost was over $1.7 Trillion dollars (source: gao.gov). What’s more productive? Some woman reading a fantasy novel or slamming an AIM-120D into a SU-35?

Ah Tara, another smart, and in her case driven, friend of Lu’s. Her point should be well-taken, but all three other characters have urged Lu to read this work, by a very good writer, for her to learn how to become a better writer, or even mediocre. Hope they all make that book signing.

Great. Now Luann can start writing romance novels, based on her massive romantic inexperience.

Books…. pfffttt Ann Eiffel videos are a LOT better. ;9 Told to The Count by a friend, of course.

Typical. Luann is just carrying the book around and now showing it to Tara instead of actually reading it. Too much effort I guess. She’s the type of GenZ kid that expects things to just fall in her lap without having to do any work.

So, writer Luann is changing genre’s from family to romance for the money? She could combine them into family/romance. She’d make a killing, of writing, that is.

No Tiffany this week and now Tara is back. I like it.

Am I the only one who looked at the first panel and thought Luann was visiting Tara in prison?

The business makes that. Not the writers. The writers make small change.

Why do I get the feeling that if it were Tiffany in Luann’s place today, everyone would she screeching about how shallow she is for letting money motivate her instead of principles?

I would have thought Nancy would have given her Coverly’s Cove (i think that’s the title of his earlier novel) so she and Bern can read the new one.

Yay Tara! Good to see you back! Buckle your seat belts everyone!

Cookbooks made $1.5 billion last year in the US and over $4 billion worldwide.

So we need a romance cook book?

That is a ton of money!

Me too!

Welp, Luann, time to get going on writing your first bodice-ripping merman blockbuster. Or something.

There once was a gentleman who wrote both Westerns and “Bodice Ripper” books. He had 2 desks and 2 typewriters, and went back and forth.

Porn is the biggest product, Trillions worldwide both cash and lives lost.

Will Luann try to write a bodice ripper? she has no experience or imagination

With all her unrequited loves, LuAnn should be able to write a bunch of books!

“The love of money is the root of many romance novels.”….maybe??

tomorrow: Ox suggests a story line. :-/

Great authors everywhere are turning over in their graves…..

Luann is becoming the most uninteresting person in “Luann”. Seriously? Offended by romance novels? Wow. This extreme prudish attitude is social poison to guys and most gals too. Loosen up, kiddo.

I have female relatives who ask for such novels for their birthdays and Christmas. Based on the multiple works I’ve seen on store shelves, Amazon, etc., I’m thinking of writing a novel called “The Night Laird of the Plains,” with a cover depicting a moonlit scene of a muscular man with fangs astride a horse wearing nothing but a kilt and a cowboy hat. I believe that checks off most of the boxes.

Tara is focused; I like this about her. It is so different from Luann who has this perpetual look of surprise, even shellshock. Every panel shows Tara intent on what she is writing and she doesn’t even look up to make the statement about romance novels. Luann needs to notice and learn from that.

It must be a big business. At the library used bookstore and most garage sales you can get a large box or bag of romance books for about a dollar.

If Luann wrote about what she knew,she’d still have writer’s block.

Make Puddles the star of book.

The default issue for those who wish to dismiss something out of hand without professing any demonstrable knowledge of the subject is cash. “It’s all about money”, they moan with seemingly righteous indignation. Two things 1). Those offering such goods or services are not a charity. They are entitled to make a living like anyone else. Like the Chairmen Of The Board said, “If you dance to the music, you’ve got to pay to the piper”. That would include not depriving artists of due compensation for their work by recording it from the internet, radio or TV for free. 2). The notion that the industry in question here generates that much annual revenue suggests that its services are both in high demand and beneficial to the user. As such, dispense with the righteous indignation, pay to the piper and dance to his or her music.

I wonder if all that fame and fortune will change Luann’s mind about the romance book industry. I hope not. If she truly isn’t interested then she shouldn’t do it just for money. Her lack of interest Will subconsciously be reflected in her writing. When I was first starting out as a writer several people told me Oh you should write a Harlequin Romance! I read a few of them but ultimately I decided I didn’t feel drawn toward them enough to do them justice. It’s difficult enough maintaining inspiration and interest for things you do feel strongly about and life is too short to spend it writing things you don’t really feel strongly about. And if you write only for the money you’ll soon burn out. However, if she reads the book and gets caught up in it that is a different story. Perhaps she and Berniece and maybe even Nancy should try writing a novel together! Nancy and Berniece could bring the interest and passion and help Luann write those scenes and Luann could provide the proper structure and techniques to form the story and make it readable. I’d love to see that and it would put Luann front and center again. C’mon Karen!!!! What do you and Greg say to my idea???

Why is Luann trying her hand at writing? As with everything else, she’s only doing it because somebody else is pushing/pulling her into it.

Writing, acting, singing..LuAnn has wanted to do all of these. Maybe she needs to go to the school of the arts.

“Write what you know”.And Luann knows….not much…

Maybe Luann should just write children’s books. She always did a great job at the library with the kids. And knows what they like.

Not a fan of Romance. I love mystery and like sci-fi and fantasy. What’s everyone’s favorite genre?

That is why I have contemplated trying to take a stab at writing a romance novel….. or at least did so when I was contemplating trying to write a novel for potential publication….. it is a big business that DOES accept many manuscripts compared to other genres. But, it is only a pipe dream. :)

Tara knows best, quoting those numbers off the top of her head.

Go ahead, Luann! Give it a try, But remember this basic admonition, write only about what you know. In your case, that could lead directly to Writer’s Block….

I can’t think of Harlequins without hearing Flo and Eddie quoting prototypical romance novels in 200 Motels. Gonzo, the lead guitar player, placed his burning. . .

Just announced:

The entertainment world is “All Shook Up” tonight.

Lisa Marie Presley has passed away at age 54.

R. I. P.

I’ve been following this comic for over 40 years (Do any of the rest of you remember next door neighbor Diane?) and from the evidence presented in the strip, I’d hesitate to say that she has ever read a book longer than Goodnight Moon.

Good writers read. They read a lot, from many genres, and while we know that Luann is able to decode words, she gives every appearance of being a person who only reads the Cliff’s Notes, if she absolutely can’t avoid it.

They also have zero value on the used market. My mom read those things for years. Can’t give them away.

Second is mysteries at 800 to 900 million a year, depending on who you ask.

I think the lesson is more about human nature than literature.

love the expression, verbally and on her face, in the final panel when they expressed “lesson learned”. like a thunderstrike