For Better or For Worse by Lynn Johnston for August 20, 2024

Any Canadian child under the age of 16 can arrive in the US without a passport and still get into the country, according to the US land and sea border rules

Those kids can travel to the US without a passport, but they will need to have one of these documents:

a Canadian birth certificate

a Canadian Citizenship Card

a Consular Report of Birth Abroad

a Naturalization Certificate

Why do I have the feeling that John has none of these things for his children and he was trying to joke his way over the border? I guess we will see tomorrow if the Pattersons are traveling in the states.

Do not make jokes with border guards or airport security.

No, they don’t.

Never say hello to your friend Jack at the airport either.

Years ago I visited Vancouver. On the way back over the border, the guard asked if the children were mine. Then he said nevermind, they both look exactly like you.

I hope that after they get April out of the car engine, they give her bear back.

Once when my husband and I were crossing the border into Canada while we still lived in the states the border agent looked at my ID and asked why I didn’t drive. What difference does that make? My husband was driving, he had a legitimate license so why did he ask about why I wasn’t driving?

My daughters were playing Exploding Kittens in the back seat while waiting at the US border crossing. Just as I drove up to the border agent, I cringed as my daughter says “Oh no, I exploded!” (The agent fortunately didn’t say anything about it).

US customs are were welcoming persons to non-US residents. After their ‘welcome’ manners, I still wonder why so many people want to come to the US.

Better do a full search of that teddy bear, Officer—there may be contraband hidden in it.

No they don’t. Same thing happened over a pack of cigarettes.

The children could be being trafficked.

Oh, John, you dummy..

From Lynn’s Comments: The last panel is a tribute to my hero, cartoonist Len Norris. His drawings of police and border guards always made me laugh out loud. I learned so much from him.

I wonder if the boarder guards can still smell a new car paint smell which might be suspicious. TWO DAYS AGO, the Patterson’s car was a navy blue color! Today, it is a silver color! Suspicious! Some 8 to 10 days ago their car was purple.

My friends uncle from Tennessee visiting in El Paso Texas crossed over the border to Mexico. As we approached the border we all new the rules… declare our nationality and move on… “American, American, American, American… IM A REBEL”.. the border patrol never blinked and simply ordered us to pull over to the side. A solid hour later we were allowed to leave. My friends dad was not pleased.

Hoo boy. BIG mistake.

I was supposed to be born in West Germany, but my father got orders for "Nam. Mom was so far along that she had to get a doctor’s note to fly home. They went back to Germany when I was 4. I flew on my mother’s passport. You didn’t get a military ID until 10 years of age. Same with the passports.

Flash forward to 1989 when my daughter was born in Germany (we were there when the wall came down). We had 30 days to get her a passport, so when we flew home in 1990, she had a passport, which is fine. Except the photo was of a two-week old! At 15 months she obviously looked nothing at all like that!

My stupid butt a few days before getting my passport decided to cut my own hair. I though it looked fine…Until 20+ years later and I had been showing a friend the old passports and she exclaimed, “You had a mullet!”. Yep. I never realized it, but having only cut the parts I could see i.e. the front, I had indeed given myself a mullet without realizing it!

If you’re in the wrong city.. even the cops can’t take a joke… jeesh…

That’s not entirely true. On my honeymoon we were driving to Niagara Falls (of all places) and decided to take a quick trip into the Canadian side. The immigration officer asked us why we were coming to Canada and we told him truthfully that we saw a road sign “CANADA SECOND LEFT”. His reply was “Yeah! You can’t miss it” and waived us through.

Perfect response of a trafficker.

It’s not like I have a bomb in here” (Focker)

Like at the bank when I have to show ID because I may fraudulently being putting money into someone elses account.

I’ve traveled to Italy, Geese, Turkey, the US and by far the worst border guards are our own, here in Canada. :(

Okay, what did he that made him extremely suspicious?

Back in the ’70s, when I drove an old VW bug, had hair down to my elbows, and frequently crossed the border from Burlington, VT to Montreal, Canada, I learned you NEVER joke with the border guards unless you want to have your car effectively disassembled and be patted down. It only happened once. That was enough.

Now they need passports. I last went to Canada in April 1978 to Montréal and back.

I would assume that they’re going through Minnesota from Winnipeg. They could follow the TransCanada highway around the Great Lakes. I’d want to see the Terry Fox monument in near Thunder Bay myself.

Now all they do is wave you in and give you money and a hotel.

I managed to get a chuckle from the young woman working TSA security at the airport. I am of a certain age, stout, with a large white beard. I was pulled aside for extra screening. They were waiting for someone to come and swab my hands. We stood on opposite sides of the little aisle, and I looked at her. I asked her, “what? Don’t you trust Santa?“

The last time I crossed into the USA via car, the border guard asked the usual “Why are you traveling to the USA today” and I exuberantly replied, “I’m going to be a grandma!” and went on in great detail about where, who, what, how long, etc. He couldn’t wave me through fast enough to shut me up.

Say nothing unnecessary, answer questions briefly.

And remember, all you old-timers, if you die out of the country, we may not bring you home. Do you want to be buried in East Nowhere? Me neither.

I had a college prof who reminded the guards at Checkpoint Charlie to check the trunk. They were there for hours.

Just thinking of some of those “Sovereign Citizen At The Border” videos on youtube I have watched and am laughing in my mind. Some of those people are crazy.

And this overkill by the border guards was WAY before 911 and the TSA. Moral? Don’t ever joke about something like this! Keep your Y chromosome in check!

Customs Agents have no sense of humor. I’ve seen this happpen adn almost to my wife and I coming back from Canada. Agent was checking my wife’s (who is black, I’m white) passport and ID adn asks what’s her relationship to me? She replied, since her last name and address is the same as mine and she has a wedding ring on, don’t suppose I’m his wife. Agent (who has a reputation of being and A-H (we didn’t know that at the time) didn’t appreciate her response and held us for five minutes asking stupid questions likle “Why are you two married to each other”.

We need Border Guards like him at OUR Southern Border….

No. They. Don’t.

The last time we visited Canada we came back to the U.S. through Windsor. The border guard asked if we had had purchased anything. We told him a case of beer. “Only that?” he said, somewhat disappointedly.

They should just leave Lizard-breath at the border. See panel one; problem solved.

This happened to my friend and I going into Canada, she joked that we had a gun in the trunk. They pulled us over and started going through our stuff, they let us go when I was so embarrassed while they were going through my suitcase and found my dirty underwear. I was also telling her to never joke with boarder control.

We don’t know this man. Can you help us?

No, they don’t.

This comic is so true! Decades ago my friends and I (US citizens) visited Canada and when we drove back someone made a joke and we had to empty out the trunk so they could look for contraband.

So very true…….

Reminds of crossing into Western Canada from USA many years ago. Remote border crossing. 60 pound Belgian Malinois named Congo in rear of my Tahoe. Female border guard interviewing me (I was not wearing my bulldog mask). Second guard opened the rear doors, lots of yelling. Second inspector prone on the ground with Congo on top. First guard nonplussed, shouts to partner, “I told you not to open the rear until I got there.” We both strained really hard not to break out laughing. I did have to explain why my WW II British Enfield .303 cal hunting rifle, with a welded bayonet stub, was not a military weapon and pre-approved on my Canadian firearm permit. Gotta love Canada!

In my four trips to Canada, two were with extended family- the scrutiny is definitely more intense when you’re not all first-degree family members, and even more so if more than one race is represented in the group.

NO they don’t. We had to unload a Dodge Caravan with a topper and 4 kids and my wife’s niece. We were packed to the gills

Co ing h9me from Expo 86 at the Blaine WA border I was searched like this too,

No, they most definitely do not. Levity really doesn’t have much place at a port of entry.

Job requirement-no sense of humor.

I wonder how Mike is doing.

The best part is when they rip the door panels off looking for drugs. Of course you have to reassembly the whole thing

Please!, another indication that this was written a long time ago… the 1st time. But no, you don’t get clever crossing a border anywhere, although back in the day( 60’s) Canada was pretty casual.

I’m not sure if they still ask this question, but I used to get “Could someone have put something in your vehicle without your knowledge?” question from Canadian border guards all the time when I worked in the US. Finally, after one particularly miserable day for me and having been asked that stupid question once too many times, I went into the customs building and asked (politely) one of the officers the reasoning behind such an illogical and inane question and who was the genius who came up with it. I never did get a definitive answer from said officer…

No, they don’t joke much. Especially these days.

And yes, sometimes children of other people are smuggled through the border.

My wife cracked, “What do they think we have a bazooka strapped underneath the car.” This was way before 9-11 but me and my brother-in-law both shushed her.

Challenge accepted!

funny final panel for me. I was evacuating from a forest fire. Had moved everything precious to a safe place and decided this would be a good time for a road trip. Last minute I remembered I had left the portraits of my daughters on the wall. Snagged them and put them in the back seat. A week later I was crossing from Montana to Canada. the border guard was suspicous that a random tourist would have portraits in the car. The rest is history. They were nice and it ended well but it sure wasn’t a quick crossing.

I have only gone to Canada once and it was back in the 80s. It was with some other people from college, we went there so we could drink legally. I don’t remember much from the trip, not sure if it is the alcohol or time that has erased my memory. It does seem like the crossing guards did give us a bit of a hassle. I think it was when we were going back. I don’t remember if we had a designated driver or not. They probably knew we were college kids going to Canada to drink. The problem though was that one of the guys was a Canadian citizen. I don’t think we had a major problem getting back in, but it does seem like they did hassle us a bit.

This is your chance to get rid of two squabbling girls, John!

Security has no sense of humor. Which makes the urge to jerk their chain almost irresistible. But it still can and should be resisted. Because taking everything seriously is their job.

I’m from the USA. Because of a mix of personal and business travel I’ve been to 20 something countries and lived in 4, on every continent except Antarctica, and have been to Canada several times by air and by land on the east and west coasts. Wonderful place. There have been some ‘interesting’ experiences during border crossings in more than one country but the most difficult crossing ever was driving into Vancouver in the early 90s in a Chevy Suburban pulling a Travel Trailer (Caravan to Europeans). The guard’s questions included all the usual stuff about people (myself, my wife and 2 boys under 10 years old), alcohol and tobacco on board (a little of each), but kept coming back to firearms. After I said we didn’t have any for about the 4th time he asked if I owned any to which I replied “of course, but I’m not stupid enought to bring them into Canada” he threatened to pull us aside and dismantle the truck and trailer. It was getting late, we were all tired (especially the 1 year old) and we still had a way to drive to our destination but I said “fine, where do I park, and I’ll help take everything apart but I expect help putting it all back together again”. He looked at me a minute and then just waved us on through. I wonder if the Texas Plates had anything to do with it.

Crossed the border at Sarnia a few years ago. The Canadian border guard was actually quite friendly, asked our business-as she should do- asked if we had any firearms (no) or fruit (no)… directed us to the currency exchange & wished us a nice visit.

Coming back across a few days later, a distinctly humourless US border agent gave us the 3rd degree about our visit & our business in Canada, gave us the side-eye when we told him we’d been there to pick up a large telescope we’d purchased (we could see he was trying to decide if he should examine said telescope, “That’s it in the back of the van, officer”,) examined our papers once more, and finally gruffly told us to move along. No “welcome to the US” or “have a nice day.”

Talk about a culture shock…

We kept our jokes and wisecracks to ourselves until we were on our way… “Gee, we were visiting a country that has a real healthcare system.” or “We were doing a black-bag job for the CIA, he’s in the back. What’s it to ya?” either of which would surely have gotten us handcuffed & our car tossed….

We had relatives in Canada. To visit, we had to go over the Peace Bridge between NY state and Canada. Used to joke that the border guards had their sense of humor surgically removed. And this was back in the ’60s.

As a child of about 10 in the ‘50’s, I remember going from Montreal to Plattsburgh NY for the day. Mum, Dad, me, infant brother, grandmother, grandfather. Where were you born? Respectively, London England, Vienna Austria, Montreal x2, a village in Czechoslovakia, a village in Russia (or maybe it was Poland at the time),. We spent a few hours at the border. Almost didn’t have enough time to accompish our mission, to buy yellow margarine that was illegal in Canada at the time.

John looks like the border patrol gave him a full body cavity search, a real “deep” one…. ;)

Bad timing, John

YEARS ago I just waltzed through Niagara Falls USA—Canada crossing—-of course,I was walking and had no luggage,which probably helped.If you go to The Falls,stay on the Canadian side;which has far more attractions than USA side.

One maddening experience in London,England—-spent a small fortune at Fortnum&Mason gourmet food shop,only to have most of it confiscated for being in “dangerous containers”.

Then I cleared customs and saw the same stuff being sold in the airport shops!!

The border guards can be jerks. I know that for a fact. Some are so casual, they just wave you on through while others will point a gun at you for smiling at them. I know that for a fact.