Non Sequitur by Wiley Miller for October 07, 2023

she has a point there.

One of the remarkably tiny number of versions of heaven that looks like it would be worth the bother to get into.

I was going to ask why they’d be reading newspapers in Heaven, but then remembered how many newspapers have died in the past decade or two. (I won’t make the obvious crack about who might populate a world of coffee and donuts.)

That would be my hell. I can not stand the smell of coffee. It makes me nauseous.

I still prefer Wiley’s vision of beer and pizza in Eden.

That DOES look like it could be heaven. Drink all the coffee and eat all of the donuts one wants guilt-free? Sign me up!

Looks like paradise to me ..

There is free Wifi and donuts.

Being Gluten Free…its been a long time since I’ve had a donut. A French cruller with strawberry frosting please. From Dolly O doughnuts Huntington Beach CA circa 1965.

I have my own idea’s about Heaven… but coffee and bagels would definitely be part of it.

(To rephrase an old Nike commercial) Life of a coffee shop addict: Coffee, sleep. Coffee, sleep. Coffee, sleep. Go to heaven…..

Coffee, coffee, coffee, coffee, coffee, COFFEE!!!

Well, a nice danish, or scones would be nice, too!!!

But they all seem to fit the late middle age and coffee klatch config. Guess there must be another ‘room’ for different categories. Maybe a Starbucks or Dunkin with pc outlets and cells working?

Sure beats listening to a harp symphony. In this version, I want peach cobbler and milk.

Meanwhile, south of the Mason-Dixon line …

Just wondering what would be in those papers because for the past 60 years, reading the newspaper has always included a slight increase in blood pressure. Would we still be reading about war, poverty, crime, and injustice? And would the sports section still have the Cubs in the cellar?

Are there Pumpkin Spice donuts EVEN THERE??!

If it’s heaven I want a good book in my hand rather than a newspaper. I’d like happy thoughts.

But where are the cats and dogs? Coffee and paper without them seems empty.

Well, the Biblical Greek (First Testament and New) for immerse/dunk is “baptizo”; it is what I do with my donuts.

I like this version of Heaven. There needs to be something else, though. You can still have your favorite morning beverage and a newspaper, but you also get a cat on your lap (or a dog by your feet, or whatever gives you comfort, be it animal, mineral, vegetable, etc.).

Imagine Heaven and that you’ve already been there.

How would the articles be chosen for the newspapers in heaven? By holy algorithm?

Heaven for sure, unless the coffee is still $7.87 a cup…

St. Peter: “I don’t know about this latest batch. All they do is stand there looking down at their hands.”

Enough is a feast.

Unlimited free refills.

I notice that people are reading what appear to be paper tablets of some sort. Also there is nary a cable TV nor smartphone in sight. Now that’s my idea of heaven.

I think one needs an actual body to have sensorial inputs. Disembodied souls are more like armchair philosophers: all a priori. Setting aside the fact that mind is a product of brain, thus…

Heaven is where Starbucks employees are treated decently.

So, heaven is perpetual breakfast. Not bad. Some of my best times are spent in the morn. But, I like those late night reruns, too.

The way my NY Yankees did this year and how my NY Jets are doing, I don’t want to see the scores!!

Hope they have the Sunday Funnies.

I guess Tim set up shop there in 1974.

I may spend a few extra days in purgatory for this, but really. I’d rather be in the Dunkin Donuts heaven that the endless Mormon Tabernacle Choir heaven. …just sayin’

Why do the people all have halos? In catholic iconography, halos were reserved for saints, I thought.

And the donuts are non fattening – eat as many as you want, just don’t be a Glutton!

I want my cats and dogs.

It can’t be heaven without pizza.

Where are the dogs ?

Access to the infinite library would be nice…

Coffee sales in the colonies increased when our founding fathers rebelled against the British tea industry. Today, tea (black or green) is worldwide the most commonly consumed beverage after water. I trust heaven is much more diverse and universal than this snapshot, esp since I’m a tea person.

In the Episcopal Church it’s called the eighth sacrament, coffee and pastries.

I want a forest that runs down to the crashing sea. With very few other people. Oh, and my dogs. All of my dogs.

Amazon is never late for a delivery

what more could I want? A cat on my lap & a dog at my feet :)

Blasphemy! Those in heaven will only be praising and worshiping God and His Son forever, and ever, and ever…

Booze.

I don’t know – looks like retirement to me.

I’ve had that for the last 30 years, even heaven gets boring.

I like the part about not having to wear anything but pjs and robe.

I still like the one from a couple years ago the best. Heaven was a water theme park.

Beer. I’d want there to be beer.

This would work for me!

and you have all of eternity ahead of you, no rush.

are those donuts or cow pies on the path??

WINEBAR

Like manna, the edibles and drinkables will taste like whatever you want them to taste like. Want pizza? That doughnut will transform into your favorite (even ham and pineapple!) as it enters your mouth. The coffee will become tea, or beer, or whiskey at your whim.

That’s my story and I’m sticking to it.

HA! Yeah but, who do you sue when the coffee is too hot?

Why are the donuts on the ground? I don’t want dirty donuts.

I don’t see any dogs or cats. Pretty lousy heaven, if you ask me…

I do not want to wear a robe and slippers all day. I like getting dressed into something else.

Donuts, hot chocolate and a good book, who could ask for anything more

If there are no calories in heaven, the whole silly supernatural idea starts to become a bit more attractive.

Pizza

Wiley, in my informal poll your strip gets more comments than any other

Plus, in Heaven, everybody has their own private restroom.

Looks like heaven to me.

“If I have any beliefs about immortality, it is that certain dogs I have known will go to heaven, and very, very few persons.” — James Thurber

Cinnamon roll for me, please.

Everyone enjoying themselves? More or less equally?

Kinda socialist, doncha think?

I don’t have a sweet tooth, so donuts don’t interest me. I have been know to take a bite of a Long John with chocolate frosting, unfilled… but just one bite. Any more than that becomes cloying.

A neverending breakfast. I guess GOD is a Hobbit.

There some comics, that bring commenters out of the woodwork, this is one of them…

It just needs knitting needles and good yarn. Preferably hand-combed qiviut from the Alaskan musk ox.

Pizza?

New Heaven and New Earth are listed along with the colossal structure called New Jerusalem which nobody bothers to depict just clouds. [The New Earth will have to be as large as Jupiter or Neptune to take the 100 billion dead and New Jerusalem.]

On the other hand nothing close to a 100 billion will qualify since Heaven is a very strictly regulated membership. Hel is for everyone else under the Goddess Hel.

The 2005 book A History of the World in 6 Glasses, by Tom Standage, presents a vision of world history, telling the story of humanity from the Stone Age to the 21st Century through the lens of beer, wine, spirits, coffee, tea, and cola.

It is only missing dogs.

Eternal breakfast.

Years ago I bought a brand new powerful Cobra radar detector. (Traveling salesman at the time.) Going through Alexandria it started screaming like a banshee. To my right I saw a gaggle (Sic) of police cars, all grouped around a coffee and doughnut place. Naturally, I had to pull over. It had great coffee and doughnuts, and the cops were telling me all kinds of unbelievable stories. I had a great time, and made it a regular stop on my route.

Add dogs and this would be my heaven.

Everyone can play and sing along, all the parts fit together just right and it sounds great all the time.

I used to get up early on work days just to enjoy this; my absolute favorite part of the day.

First Daughter opines that everyone will have the heaven he or she (oh all right, or they) believes in. I said fine, as long as we all have visiting rights.

How about that poor person behind the counter, forced to work and smile so the others can feel good about doing nothing but still getting something for it.