Pearls Before Swine by Stephan Pastis for February 25, 2024

The wound is so fresh, I can taste the blood

But I don’t have strength to leave

Stephan’s teeth will be messed up so badly he’ll sound like a harmonica when he breathes.

Billy Joel may sue.

I NEVER “DREAMED” ANYONE COULD “TOP” MY OLDER BROTHER’S AWFUL “DAD” JOKE: (even though he “claims” he’ll NEVER be a “dad,” as he doesn’t want his kid to inherit my “suffering” from my chronic illness of hemophilia) so, here is the joke that was JUST “beaten” by our hero, STEPHEN PASTIS; RICK: “why do vampires LOVE hemophiliacs so much?” RICK SAYS THE PUNCHLINE: “no “pesky” blood clots in their throats!!!!” Thanks, and don’t forget to tip your waiter!!!! Goodnight, everybody!!!! Dan aka…

(audible groan) but sure appreciate the effort!

Looks like not only the good die young.

He’s singing my town.

OK. Who did NOT sign that in their head?

Ironically sang by John and Joel (Elton and Billy) whose last names could have been first names . . .

Tom is really holding on to his melons.

Good one.

Melon, T ⇔ melody? Yikes.

God, but I LOVE the pun strips!

Yes, it’s you I’ve been coming to see to forget about life for awhile

I suppose Pastis just can’t help himself, sometimes.

You may be right. He may be crazy, but it just may be a lunatic we’re looking for.

I dare anyone to claim they saw that coming.

I hate it when I agree with Rat

ugghhh

Everybody’s talking bout the new strip, funny, but it’s bad pun to me.

This one is pure gold!

I LOVE those puns.

I wonder if you can pay to be the guy with the bat in the last panel

Very good one, a lot of thought went into this pun!

“Sing us a song, you’re the piano man – Sing us a song tonight. Well, we’re all in the mood for a melody And you’ve got us feeling alright”

https://www.youtube.Com/watch?v=gxEPV4kolz0

Pastis must have been on Captain Jack when he wrote this.

Bravo Steph! You keep our twisted minds focused!

Puny ! Real Puny !

Blind Melon Chitlin…..

Well, I guess the drawings and color are alright.

No comment.

We love you just the way you are.

He didn’t start the ire

I closed my eyes after the second panel and clenched my teeth; I knew it was going to be bad, but just not how bad…

I saw Billy Joel last night and he did play that song, it was a good concert!

Epic

The harmonica is playing in my head now.

Stephan must be feeling good after that stretch.

Too tired of hearing that song on the radio. Been played to death. Come back in 5 years I might want to hear it again.

Hah, you didn’t git me, Pastis.

These puns are crazy but in truth I love them. Stephen has a gift to be able to come up with the phrase then the parts then the drawings. Keep it up.

Excellent one! Inspired many good comments, too.

Good one, Steph! It is truly “An Ode to Billy Joe(l)”

I’m gonna puke,but I like it…

{Groan}

I would love to watch the process as Stephan comes up with these.

You may be right. Steph may be crazy.

With writing like that, you can Say Goodbye to Hollywood.

Pastis is about to experience a “Starry, Starry Night”.

Was pastis born this way or did it come unnaturally?

Love that song!

That. Was. Awesome! (thanks for the earworm)

I can never resist looking ahead to see what the pun is.

The key to this strip is knowing when to go to the next comic strip. Today’s exit was strip 3, not the last one. Tomorrow should be one showing off Rat’s handy work with a bat but Pastis would not be able to hold the crayons.

I skip strips that have Pastis at the end, because they are always some sad attempt at a pun, which are sad to start with.

I knew there was a pun in there but I did not sign that one coming.

The abyss. I feel it yawning in my head now. Or is it just appalled?

Piano Man? Is that the name of the song?

Help me, I’m not well versed in… popular songs.

bahahaha that was my wedding song…..Just the way you are bahahahaha

Very clever.

Not knowing Billy Joel songs???? You don’t know what you’re missing. YouTube the man and find great tunes.

Good one! LOL.

Ode to Billy Joel.

Pastis is spending way too much time in the bathroom thinking this stuff up…

Billy Joel is rolling over in his grave.

I’m guessing there’s a song in there somewhere.

Billy Joel now writes classical music, and he is very good at it.

Billy Joel is playing right now!!! Granted the song in “My Life”, but still the synchronicity is cool.

I saw T outside of Hugh’s earlier, waiting for his melons to be delivered by his long-haired dog, “Baby”. Baby wasn’t cooperating, so T sang an old Watson/Burnett song, “Come to me, my melon-collie Baby!”

Billy was interviewed by Colbert on The Late Show last week and was very humorous. He made fun of Piano Man. Pointed out it was in waltz time and the lines were limericks. “John at the bar is a friend of mine, and he gets me my drinks for free. He’s quick with a joke or to light up your smoke, but there’s someplace that he’d rather be.” He never expected it to be a hit.

If he keeps this up, Pastis is going to end up in the punetentary.

Why Pastis, why?

Billy Joel just released a new single, “Turn the Lights Back On”. It is a nice slow ballad. I saw this on Wikipedia, "The chart debut of “Turn the Lights Back On” occurred nearly 50 years after Joel’s first appearance on the Hot 100, when “Piano Man” debuted at number 94 on the chart dated February 24, 1974."

You have no sense of humor at all, Rat! That was actually pretty funny.

You’re slipping, Stephan. I saw that pun coming in panel three.

This was on Jeopardy a few weeks ago. “Name one of the two ingredients in the drink mentioned in The Piano Man”

Sling us a web, you’re the Spider-Man

Sling us a web tonight

‘Cause we’re all in the mood for a hero now

And there’s evil doers to fight

— Weird Al Yankovic.

Bravo Pastis! Well done

Does this mean Pastis has the hots for Christie Brinkley?

i love how i can never figure these out until stephan puts them together!

Rat has his Billy club.

I want to know what Pastis smokes/drinks.

Classic Pastis gotta love it!

Thank you, Mr. Pastis! I thoroughly enjoyed that one!

I feel so alone. Didn’t get any of this. Thank dog for the comments!

Now Hughes can’t leave…

is there a spare bat available?

And for once I got them all. Thanks Steph (and DUCK!)

Having just read today’s Doonesberry. How long until AI can take Pastis job? Seriously imho that looks hard to do.

Why is Billy Joel all of a sudden all over the media? Did he write a memoir or something? I haven’t thought of him in years and this is the third time he’s popped up in two weeks!(Considering that Stephan wrote this strip six months ago, this is quite the feat!)

Rat, don’t hurt Stephan. He’s An Innocent Man.

I knew from the first panel it was going to be a pun. But it was not until the 5th panel that I realized how bad it would be.

YAY, a belabored pun! This is what I read this strip for!

Sometimes I take long walks in the woods, sit on a bench by a lake and ponder the big questions such as “What is a real estate novelist?”

I prefer women with melons…

Horrible, horrible… I knew it was coming, but there was nothing I could do to stop it.

I’m looking for the Hugh Hefner National Memorial annual Centerfold shoot.

Good one Stephan!

Wow! Pastis must have gotten a batch of the good stuff this week!

Best one ever

Billy Joel will take you on a one way trip on the Downeaster Alexa

There used to be a comic strip called “There Oughta be a Law.” Can’t say why that came to mind…:_)

And so it goes

HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA!

Already a Favorite from a Classic!

slow clap

Better watch out, Pastis, since Only the Good Die Young.

Bet he’s feeling some Pressure to not irk Rat anymore.

Sure—this is another pun strip, but You May Be Right that they’re fun.

(I’ll see myself out now … ) This one made me smile.

“Piano Man” was one of the songs I sang during my first ever night doing karaoke. Every time after that when I sang at that particular bar, people would request me to sing it again.

Brilliant.

FOR THE LOVE OF GOD RAT! JUST DO IT ALREADY

G R O A N — OMG, OMG — So damm funny

Stephen! you’re an amazing artist! You make me laugh heartily!

One of Stephan’s best!

All that was missing was a reference to the Italian Restaurant — you know, the song about that lovely girl Brenda Renetti.

Just when you thought Pastis couldn’t possibly stoop any lower…..

C’mon, Rat… we’re all with ya!

Oh my dear Lord…Punday Sunday…sometimes it just turns out that way

Rat’s last line should have been “Goodnight Saigon” (another Billy Joel single.)

Tom should have been named Dom or Dan or Dave etc. a Melon, D.

One I heard—

Use the word “punctilious” in a sentence.

I know two sisters,Millie and Tillie. Millie is all right, but you have no idea how punctilious.

Smart: two Billy Joel songs commemorated here.

Oh Lord, this is one of the best that’s come along in some time. A+

How very clever!