Pearls Before Swine by Stephan Pastis for January 16, 2024

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    BE THIS GUY  10 months ago

    That’s why I’m going to cremated. I’m not letting the dirt get me!

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    Bilan  10 months ago

    We have a lot to do with still being alive.

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    hariseldon59  10 months ago

    Happy Birthday, Steph. I just celebrated my 65th a few days ago. Nice to know that you’re a fellow Capricorn.

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    finzleftright  10 months ago

    Sweet! Thanks, Stephan!!!! My birthday is in just over two weeks and I’m going to save this to post!

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    BasilBruce  10 months ago

    Did Rat steal Stephan’s mug?

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    cmxx  10 months ago

    You can run, but you can’t hide. ::sigh::

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    NavalHistorian  10 months ago

    I figured he’d congratulate Steph on not being killed for one of his puns…yet.

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    GreasyOldTam  10 months ago

    Bill Bailey has a version called Your Meaningless Milestone of Decay. It’s on YouTube.

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    Imagine  10 months ago

    What, no cake?

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    Hello Everyone  10 months ago

    Happy Birthday Steph!

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    c001  10 months ago

    Happy birthday, Stephan! I’ve been reading PBS from the day Scott Adams recommended it on the Dilbert page centuries ago (using a word I don’t quite remember but it amounted to something like “very comicesque”) and still enjoy it. Keep it up, and many greetings from Germany!

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    Walrus Gumbo Premium Member 10 months ago

    Birthdays: Marking the chronological order of decay!

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    electricshadow Premium Member 10 months ago

    Between this strip and “Rabbits Against Magic” from last Thursday, my self-esteem is shot for the month. >

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    Gent  10 months ago

    Well you no give him birthday cake to eats. So obviously he no like you.

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    rdav1248961 Premium Member 10 months ago

    Happy Birthday Stephan.

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    Redmaaan  10 months ago

    I would buy this as a birthday card.

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    diazch408  10 months ago

    Rat should go into the next superhero drama. Instant supervillain right there!

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    Zicat  10 months ago

    Happy Birthday, Stephan!

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    Zoturdley Premium Member 10 months ago

    Happy Birthday, Steph.

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    Hamady Sack Premium Member 10 months ago

    Happy Birthday. Your fans are all older than you, will die before you, and none will remember you in their will.

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    fullmoondeb Premium Member 10 months ago

    Happy birthday, Steph, and thanks for the laughs!

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    WaitingMan  10 months ago

    Father Time is undefeated.

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    Tigrisan Premium Member 10 months ago

    Happy Birthday, Steph! Hope it’s grand!

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    Procat Premium Member 10 months ago

    He will have to wait an extra day for his next birthday.

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    Huckleberry Hiroshima  10 months ago

    lmao

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    monya_43  10 months ago

    Rat’s way of spreading the joy.

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    Upton O'Goode  10 months ago

    Had a “friend” who’d tell you on your birthday, “Despite everything you’ve learned, know, say or do you have moved, inexorably, a year closer to your death.”

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    losflemings  10 months ago

    At first I thought this was a really late new years strip.

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    Frank Salem Premium Member 10 months ago

    Happy Birthday, Steph. Thanks for the laughs.

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    Doug K  10 months ago

    If Stephan is able to survive until his next birthday next year, he will have managed another 366 days breathing and above the dirt.

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    Croc Holliday  10 months ago

    If we measured age by the time it takes the solar system to orbit the Milky Way, rather than the Earth around the sun, I’d be roughly 0.000000226 years old (using the Earth around the sun year as the benchmark.)

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    jessegooddoggy  10 months ago

    Please invite the Crocs to your party.

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    Chief Inspector   10 months ago

    @StephanPastis Happy Birthday!

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    Studebaker Hoch  10 months ago

    Happy Birthday, Stephan.

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    KageKat  10 months ago

    You are an exhausting individual, Rat.

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    Count Olaf Premium Member 10 months ago

    The❤️Count is going to have to remember that one. Make a cool beans birthday card.

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    dailyreader58  10 months ago

    Happy Birthday, Steph. Have a great day and thanks for the laughs.

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    Killraven Premium Member 10 months ago

    Happy Still Above the Dirt Day!

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    [Traveler] Premium Member 10 months ago

    Once a year we celebrate with stupid hats and plastic plates, the fact that you were able to make another trip around the sun, happy birthday, now you’re one year older (the happy birthday song of a local radio show)

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    Linguist  10 months ago

    ¡FELIZ CUMPLEAÑOS, STEPH!

    \(ᵔ⍢ᵔ)/

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    Charles & Susan  Premium Member 10 months ago

    Happy Birthday Stephan!

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    nicholasbonnie3  10 months ago

    Happy birthday, Stephan. Hope you have a great big day.

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    Ellis97  10 months ago

    Happy birthday, Stephan Pastis.

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    Goat from PBS  10 months ago

    Happy birthday, Steph! Wishing you many more! (puns)

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    DaBump Premium Member 10 months ago

    Congratulations on not losing your gravitational attraction and being flung off the Earth for another trip around the sun!

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    babka Premium Member 10 months ago

    I’m an earth sign. I’m thinking mulch.

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    uniquename  10 months ago

    Well then don’t say “Congrats”. Just say “Happy Birthday”.

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    NaryGancy  10 months ago

    Happy Birthday Stephan!

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    sarah413 Premium Member 10 months ago

    Many years ago, a friend whose birthday was a day after mine walked up to me and said “Just remember, when you turn 100, I’ll still only be 99.” Simply turned, and walked away.

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    GATORx81  10 months ago

    Is this a subtle way of letting us all know it’s your birthday? Don’t expect any presents from me!

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    aerotica69  10 months ago

    The worms go in, the worms go out…..

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    ladykat  10 months ago

    That’s a unique way of saying Happy Birthday.

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    Flossie Mud Duck  10 months ago

    Happy birthday like everyone else.

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    PaulAbbott2  10 months ago

    Happy birthday to youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu

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    The Fly Hunter  10 months ago

    I’m now at the age where if I don’t keep moving they’ll throw dirt on me!

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    AtariDragon  10 months ago

    Memento mori, Stephan.

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    rshive  10 months ago

    A little different perspective.

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    Zebrastripes  10 months ago

    Happy Birthday!

    Better than pushing daisies! ☺️☺️

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    sschardi  10 months ago

    I want my remains to be scattered all over the beach, and I don’t want to be cremated.

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    Out of the Past  10 months ago

    Remember man thou art but dust and unto dust thou shalt return. Genesis 3:19.

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    Bruce Underwood Premium Member 10 months ago

    Happy Birthday Stephan Pastis. Waiting for you to return to Wichita for another book tour.

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    johnschutt  10 months ago

    It’s ain’t over at death.

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    notmoving Premium Member 10 months ago

    Happy Birthday, mirth maker!!!

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    Carl Rennhack Premium Member 10 months ago

    Greetings to Steph as he celebrates the trigintaquinquennium of his 21st birthday!

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    newsbb  10 months ago

    I get that this is a comic and not an animation, but I still like when there is something happening and today’s strip is just lazy.Frame 1 and 4 are identical apart from a cup oddly missing in frame 4, so is frame 2 and 3 with the exception of Rats arms/hands and legs/feet.

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    mail2jbl  10 months ago

    Happy 56th Birthday, Cartoon Boy!

    But just know that Rat is right. As it says in Scripture, “…you are dust, and to dust you shall return.” (Genesis 3.19, RSV)

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    vics_machine Premium Member 10 months ago

    Congratulations on another successful circumnavigation of our local star!

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    zeexenon  10 months ago

    Quick! Be cremated before that, too, is the primary cause of Global Warming. Plus, your ashes will be great for our garden.

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    minty_Joe  10 months ago

    Happy Birthday, Stephan Pastis!

    https://Www.youtube.Com/watch?v=3nm37gzDnk0

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    Kilrwat Premium Member 10 months ago

    It’s your Birthday, oh Happy Birthday…one day closer to DEATH!

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    Radish the wordsmith  10 months ago

    Most rats live in a hole in the ground.

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    d_mock  10 months ago

    Congratulations on maintaining orbit!

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    Donna S  10 months ago

    Happy, happy birthday! Have a wonderful day!

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    Csaw Backnforth  10 months ago

    Happy Birthday, Stephen! (And many more.)

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    kappy.mrnustik Premium Member 10 months ago
    Remember, nine out of ten doctors say the more birthdays you have, the longer you live. Happy Birthday!
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    hooglah  10 months ago

    Happy Birthday!!!!

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    crystalcomics  10 months ago

    Happy Birthday, S. P.

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    Katje  10 months ago

    That’s why this year is more challenging for you. Now you have to survive for 366 days… Good luck! :D :P

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    dlaemmerhirt999  10 months ago

    >GASP!< And to his own FATHER!!! (Technically, Stephen is all the animals’ father AND mother!)

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    Cameron1988 Premium Member 10 months ago

    Happy birthday, Steph!

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    Blaven  10 months ago

    Happy Birthday Stephan. Love the comics!

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    crazeekatlady  10 months ago

    Happy Birthday Stephen! Greetings from Washington DC!

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    wildlandwaters  10 months ago

    unfortunately he’s right, tho…

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    Drbarb71 Premium Member 10 months ago

    Hope your day is a blast! Go somewhere and BE A KID AGAIN. ignore all these Debbie Downers. I celebrate another year of your hilarious, insightful comic! Please come to Comic Con some year.

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    FunnyReader - 2022 Premium Member 10 months ago

    Great one! HBD to you!

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    markkahler52  10 months ago

    Happy Birthday, Stephan! You share a birthday with markkahler52! ME!

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    Ka`ōnōhi`ula`okahōkūmiomio`ehiku Premium Member 10 months ago

    Live long, and prosper.

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    Picccaaaaso  10 months ago

    Ooh Happy Birthday!!

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    oakie817  10 months ago

    HIPPY BIRTHDAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! >

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    SteveHL  10 months ago

    Happy birthday, Mr. Pastis.

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    John Jorgensen  10 months ago

    Occasionally I think about buying a lakebed or peat bog or something and selling burial plots there. I’d do it in a way that maximizes the chances of the body fossilizing, and market it to people who like the idea of paleontologists in the distant future using their remains to study the human population of our era.

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    Mary Ellen  10 months ago

    Happy birthday!

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    patrickab7  10 months ago

    Happy(?) birthday, sir.

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    KEA  10 months ago

    “If you’re reading this letter, my disease has run its course. Enclosed is some money for my burial. I would like to be cremated. I spent my whole life in a box. I don’t want to be buried in one.” Georgia May Byrd in Last Holiday.

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    KEA  10 months ago

    HAPPY BIRTHDAY STEPHAN!

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    [Unnamed Reader - 14b4ce]  10 months ago

    That’s still better than the anonymous card Pastis got—-“Thank the Lord that you’re not a Mayfly”

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    Nobody_Important  10 months ago

    Happy Birthday!!

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    Zyxian  10 months ago

    Happy Birthday Stephan !!!

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    Gretchen Wingert Premium Member 10 months ago

    Happy Birthday Stephan!!!

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    christelisbetty  10 months ago

    You load 16(hundred)puns, and what do you get? Another day older and deeper in debt……

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    Charlie Tuba  10 months ago

    Today is also our dog’s (#HoudiniTheMagicShihPoo) whelp-day. (I learned that word from Snoopy). He is 11 years old today!

    Happy birthday to you Steph! I remember meeting you at a book signing in Pasadena. You signed two books, one for me and the other for my now late pastor. We would have discussions about your Sunday strips after Sunday morning services. He always hated your puns with the long setup.

    My favorite strip of yours was the one where you paid tribute to your late father-in-law.

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    betsypoe  10 months ago

    Happy Birthday Stephan!

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    MarthaGwen Premium Member 10 months ago

    Happy Birthday, Steph! Pearls is my favorite strip…it used to be tied with Dilbert, but since Adams was “canceled” you are #1!!

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    hitman4cookies  10 months ago

    Has Rat given any thought to his own fate once the dirt claims Steph?

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    pamela welch Premium Member 10 months ago

    Happy Birthday Stephan ♫♪♫

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    SapphireSkies Premium Member 10 months ago

    (Sung to the tune of “The Volga Boatmen.”)

    Happy Birthday! [Huhn!] Happy Birthday! [Hunh!]

    So you’ve aged another year,

    Now you know that death is near.

    Happy Birthday! [Huhn!] Happy Birthday! [Hunh!]

    Happy Birthday! [Huhn!] Happy Birthday! [Hunh!]

    Death, destruction, and despair,

    People dying everywhere.

    Happy Birthday! [Huhn!] Happy Birthday! [Hunh!]

    ————————

    I could go on, but I won’t. Happy birthday, Stephan!

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    MarshaOstroff  10 months ago

    I wonder if Stephan will read all of these happy birthday messages, sure hope so. Anyway, from Mexico City to wherever you are, ¡Feliz cumpleaños, maestro!

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    eric.franz.petras  10 months ago

    Happy birthday, Stephan.

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    soaringblocks  10 months ago

    Happy Birthday! And may your new year be blessed with many new ideas for your good comics which I enjoy every day.

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    Lily.spokescat  10 months ago

    Happy Birthday W-A-OTH, since goldilocks comics wouldn’t let me post your real name

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    bunrabbit99  10 months ago

    happy birthday, stephan!

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    Otis Rufus Driftwood  10 months ago

    And a Happy Tuesday to you too, Rat.

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    EXCALABUR  10 months ago

    The dirt will have you since you will be it.

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    Dan Collins creator 10 months ago

    Thanks! Today’s my birthday!

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    CsRoberto2854  10 months ago

    Happy birthday Stephan Thomas Pastis

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    rgcviper  10 months ago

    Happy Birthday, Stephan. Thanks for “Pearls”. : )

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    Sisyphos  10 months ago

    Yo! Happy birthday, Cartoon-Boy. I do rather admire Rat’s eloquence, though….

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    tvstevie  10 months ago

    He must root for the Detroit Tigers!

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    listmom  10 months ago

    Happy Birthday Steph! May you stay above the ground for a lot longer.

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    Swirls Before Pine  10 months ago

    Happy Dirt Day, Stephan.

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    wordsmeet  10 months ago

    M. Pastis, use this strip to make your own holiday card series or Hallmark will beat you to it!

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    alantain  9 months ago

    I think it’s still superior to being pickled and jarred in a polished wooden container.

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