Pearls Before Swine by Stephan Pastis for March 29, 2024

Right up there with locusts and raining frogs.

Pastis knows they don’t read his strip, he is safe!

“Won’t slow down! You have no right to be here!”

That was pretty much my attitude the 4 years I rode a bike in college. But I’d never go back.

Yes.

Not nearly as annoying as many automobile drivers.

Eh there too many entitled loons these days. Just like steenky cycleests.

or, he could just run into your back as you wander left, then right, then more right, then suddenly veer to the middle.

Walkers, especially those in groups or with dogs, often don’t seem to understand the concept of other people on the path.

Be grateful that he said anything. A lot don’t.

City adding bike lanes on our narrow, steep street. I plan opening a spandex repair shop and bumper cleaning service.

At least rat is asking, but the cyclist takes offense because his intent when he went by rat makes him guilty.

From God? No. They’re from the dark side.

I never walked on shared paths of a weekend, valued my life too much.

The problem is obvious: the disparity between walking speed and biking speed, guaranteeing that collisions will be from behind. The technological solution is equally obvious: require bikers using walking lanes to be equipped with one of those thumb-operated bells that you used to have on your tricycle. The handlebar bell would be automatically actuated by a connection to a cam on the front wheel axle, and thus ring any time the bike was in motion. And in fairness, the paths should also require that the walker have at least one functioning ear that is not stuffed with an earbud.

Got flipped off by a cyclada who flew past a stop sign, and nearly got hit. He honestly thought it was MY fault…

‘Tis the season. And like I advise every year, please be careful out there, pedestrians, bicyclists and motor vehicle drivers. Remember to OBEY all traffic laws; doesn’t matter which of the three above you are. And please be polite to one another when maneuvering in high traffic areas. Bicyclists: It’s a good idea to slow down and announce your passing by around with more than enough time of notice.

Cyclists aren’t as bad as the idiots on escooters, because they don’t have motors.

I’d much rather have them call out “On your left”or ring their bell (which they are required to do in some places) than just whizz by with no warning.

They’re a punishment, but they’re not from God.

The Spandex Speeders Rat?!

I live between 2 trail heads and I always have to be careful when I open my car doors, as they come up behind fast and silently!

Admit it, your wife has you mowing the lawn wearing spandex shorts. Or basketball guy skirts.

I’m gonna vote yes

Up here they have a law passed that cyclist can blow through stop signs. I’ve to find out do they have to stop if a vehicle is in a 4-way stop first. Love how they claim this will cause fewer accidents. Until they drive a car and now have the habit of not stopping.

I’m a cyclist, too, but without Lycra and on a normal bike, riding to work and for groceries, to meet friends and for nearby lakes. What stupid people use their cars for and get fat.

They can be rather entitled, yes. Walkers too, of course.

It could be. It’s not as bad as the river turning red, being invaded by a swarm of bugs, or having your firstborn killed overnight, but still…

Impossible! I walk on our local greenway nearly every day and it is NEVER the spandex-clad Lance Armstrong wanna-bes that bother to say “On your left”!

nah… bikers are! And most drivers… government office clerks… Politicians! Don’t forget those! Religious zealots are… ironically… People posting their grievances online… Humans are a punishment from God to the Universe! :D

Probably before my “On your left” they will hear my favorite tunes blasting from my iPod; but so far I’ve only received compliments on my choice of music.

He’s lucky he got a warning, the cyclists on our local trail act like you’re in their way!

God is not real.

Many walkers wear ear buds, so a small bell is of little use. I can make a nice loud whistle, which usually cuts through the fog. I always slow down when passing pedestrians and thank them for moving over and sharing the path. p.s. I do wear lycra.

Just pass already, don’t make a federal case out of it

At least he was on a trail instead of the street – or a winding, hilly, narrow road with short sight-lines…

How many comments today? I think they enjoy pushing our buttons.

When I announce, “On your left”, more often than not, I’ll receive a wave of the hand or a “Thank you” from folks.

Not a lycra loon, but telling someone they’re about to be passed is just a courtesy. That and once in a while you get people that hog the entire multi-use path.

I think more likely cyclists are a joke from God.

Some of us just wear regular clothes while bicycling.

They are indeed a punishment. Clowns on two wheels.

I can’t really laugh at this one much – she’s long since recovered, but an acquaintance of mine got flattened while out walking by a guy who lost control of his bike – and I mean she got knocked out for a few seconds, her face got scratched, and she ended up having to have a tooth replaced. At least he had the decency to – 1) Try to yell to warn her when he couldn’t pedal straight, and 2) Wait with her until the ambulance crew arrived.

I’m sure people can go cycling on a public pathway. I don’t know. I’ve never done it.

For cyclists — just as for drivers — who use the roads cooperatively and safely as a means of transportation, I have respect. For cyclists who apparently believe that the roads are their personal place to exercise and cruise around in social packs, thereby endangering and inconveniencing everyone else, I have only contempt. Keep up the crusade, Stephen!

What is worse is if you are on a bike too and they yell out “on your left” when they are actually passing(wheels 1’ apart) which can startle the other cyclist causing him to lose control and have a collision. Too many cyclist ride like it is the final kilometer of the Tour de France" and would rather run over a five year old than slow down. My experience is the more expensive the bike, helmet, shades, spandex the bigger the a$$..

Jef……..

That’s telling em Steph, the pen is mightier than the sword.

I keep Frazz right next to Pearls Before Swine just for days like this – or it just happened somehow. I don’t remember after the bike incident.

Typical ped walking on a ‘bike’ trail with signs posted “keep right, bikes have right of way” weaving back and forth all over the place while looking at their phones, but it’s the biker’s fault.

That’s why i have a bell on my bike, to give early warning, and also i avoid riding multi-use paths like the plague- too many pedestrians staring blankly at their cellphones, wandering all over the place and stepping out in front of me.

I always slow down and call out when passing people. Turns out there’s a lot of “Jef the Walker” out there meandering aimlessly down the path and paying no attention whatsoever. Some even have their dog off leash. Turns out that rudeness thing goes both ways.

Being a tad hard of hearing I appreciate a warning if something is approaching from behind when out walking.

The Hudson River promenade on the West Side of Manhattan used to be such a pleasant walk. Now it’s all bikes whizzing past you, and no peace.

This vendetta against cyclists is getting very tiresome.

In answer to Rat’s question: Yes.

Cyclists do not belong on pedestrian trails. If the trends in this world stay true to patters, cyclists and pedestrians will have separate paths, once a large enough tragedy, or a large enough sum of tragedies, occurs.

Lies. Rat out taking a “peaceful” walk beside a creek? For what, exercise? To enjoy nature? Yeah, and then everybody clapped…

You’d rather be hit by a bike?

You’d rather be hit by the bike?

Dude – it’s the “electrics” you need to fear ! People who never rode before are now approaching you silently – at 25 mph ! I hate those things.

I am a cyclist, but other cyclists scare me almost as much as the texting or drunk drivers. And then there are dog walkers with killer dogs unleashed or on 12 foot leashes. Cyclists over 7 years need to get off the sidewalks and drivers need to learn how to share the road safely.

This is why I don’t go out for walks alone anymore. I’m afraid of being run over by a random cyclist.

If I am on a mixed use path I call out “On your left, please”. Usually followed by “Your other left, moron”On a marked bike path I am less polite.

Ask yourself: Are you cycling to get where you need to be, or are you cycling for the sake of cycling?

If the latter, consider that a pilates class will likely have some attractive women in it, and leave the roads for transportation.

(That said; there is no bonus for taking out cyclists with your car. Exercise a little care and share the road gracefully, mindful that the cyclists have every bit as much right to be on the road as you.)

The Lycra Loons did a good cover of “Bicycle” by Queen.

You’ve got a nerve

Apparently Steph is ribbing Jef Mallett again. I do not read “Frazz” much: I cannot recall “Frazz” making a joke about Steph Pastis.

I, too, am not a fan of the general cycling crowd. I live on a steep, long, winding, narrow road and travel at least once a week with my 30ft horse trailer, full. These guys are a definite hazard and rude to boot. They look behind at me and continue on their middle of the road merry way. I have incorporated an air horn in my truck and I know how to use it! Right up behind them as close as I dare to get (don’t want them landing on my truck;) , and lay on it for a few seconds. Two out of three will move, the third is frequently picking himself up out of the briars. Have a nice day : )

As a lifelong cyclist who mostly loves PBS, on days like this I just roll my eyes and think, “Haters gonna hate.” We all have our issues, I guess.

The problem with cyclists, especially the motor types, is that they think they are immortal and subject to no traffic rules.

Just don’t me started on Cyclists disobeying traffic laws.

unfortunately too many have the attitude of “go ahead and hit me…I dare ya!” (gotta admit…it’s awfully tempting!)

Yes. And we must have been very bad.

Yes, we are, far Left, far Right, whatever, same thing.

Calling your pass – whether good morning or on your left – is even tougher when others have earbuds in place. Rat needs earbuds – would appreciate reinforcing the safety behavior we want to see!

Hope you continue to belittle these annoying lycra bottomed people.

I wizz by people at 15mph but I give them a wide berth. Once I said “on your left” and they panicked and jumped to the left, I nearly hit them, so now I just go very wide around. Are stupid pedestrians a punishment from God?

Maybe cyclists just do not like rats.

“On your left” yelled out a fraction of a second before passing is startling, not informative. That doesn’t give the pedestrian time to think, let alone time to distinguish left from right and make a proper movement to the side. Sharing a path with pedestrians means going slowly and giving plenty of warning.

I don’t suppose you cyclists sharing a road with automobiles would appreciate every automobile laying on the horn as they pass, going 30mph faster than you.

Are some cyclists annoying? Absolutely. Do some ride recklessly? Yes. But compare that irritation to the devastation that is wrought by our obscene obsequiousness to all things automotive. The demands of car cultists are causing irreparable harm to the natural environment and have already decimated the built environment with their “pave the world” mentality. And the incredible sloth that tends to accompany complete reliance on motor vehicles is one of the factors that is causing the rate of preventable diseases to go up, raising health care costs and insurance rates for all of us.

Those cyclist are still better than the motorist that whiz by bicycles with only a foot of space.

You will end up in Hell! And it will be filled with bikes! :D

It’s obvious I don’t use walking paths. My first thought was Sam’s comment in the AVENGERS movies.

At least they yell “On your left.” ;^)

No Rat, they are agents of Satan. Not all of them, some cyclists are actually courteous and obey traffic laws but they are becoming an endangered species.

I’m a cyclist (more than a jogger), but not to the level of your character. Those guys are ridiculous. They’re not training for the tour-de-france, so why do you think you need the spandex?I will be honest, a good number of pedestrians around here don’t stay to the right like they should. we need to share the path with each other.

I wish it were possible for speed cyclists to painfully run over their own feet

Let’s not get all frazzled, Jef.

Honestly I’d rejoice if a cyclist gave any sort of warning before whizzing by.

Yup, startles me every time (someday it’ll be a heart attack) and they’re already past me by the time I get startled.

I worked in SF for 15 years. On my last Friday I crossed a street through Critical Mass. I told myself that pedestrians were safe and lucked out. Almost all of my pedestrian close calls there involved bike messengers.

Around here, the colorful loons ride up the middle of the street and shake their fists at you if you dare to pass them.

I’m out.

It’s the law here in Colorado that a cyclist must announce his approach. So at least here in Colorado it’s not the cyclists fault for following the law.

I agree with Stephan!

In GTA, I love to run over the cyclists…

To my fellow cyclists: You are not the center of the universe.

My bicycle has a friendly little bell.

At least that one warned Rat.

American cyclists are just Americans on bicycles, instead of rolling coal in a gigantic truck. The rudeness isn’t from the “cyclist” part.

Really startle my dad, who’s in his 80s. How hard is it to slow down when approaching people on foot?

Kids zooming past me from behind on their electric bikes is even worse.

I’d say they are Stephan!!

A thin line from cycle paths to psychopaths.

That’s just the warning that will make me jump right into your path. I can’t always tell my left from my right, especially when I’m panicking.

I never understood the “On your left” warning. Am I supposed to pay attention to an incomplete sentence? I should expect to hear something like “On your left there’s a snapping turtle” or something equally useful to know.

It’s better than them whooshing past without an “on your left!”