Luann by Greg Evans and Karen Evans for May 28, 2021

Before anyone could think it, they’d have to know what all those words mean.

Someone loves her thesaurus. ✨

Bernice, listen to Nancy.

A slight improvement, I guess. B now thinks Nil sees her as a some kind of self-indulgent actress who loves sensuality, instead of a strumpet. (I think…)

“Inveigling” is a fun word! I’m glad to be reminded of it.

No one thinks that, because no one knows what she said, since she appears to have swallowed a dictionary.

Bern is going to be a lot of fun on her wedding night.

Oh come, come, Bernice.

Don’t be so hard on yourself.

You’re not any of those things.

An Effete Intellectual Snob, maybe.

A Nattering Nabob of Negativity, certainly.

At least you’re NOT a Snivelling Sycophant. ;)

Much ado about nothing.

She wanted Frank to leave the room. Heck! They can hear her screaming in the next block!!

The hussy! Shame, shame.

I’ve decided Bernice is the Barney Fife of this series.

Stop ✋ with the Thesaurus!

Nobody believes that because nobody knows what that means.

Bernice has been so focused on her studies, I feel she has missed out on the normal things in life.

Why is Bernice speaking Loudly? Frank can hear Bernice without using a glass press against the wall!

And now we present the 2021 Miss Universe Drama Queen, Bernice. Please, only one more day of this arc.

I’m about ready to listen to a Puffed Grass commercial tomorrow.

“No one think that”, she said dryly.

Th-this is really about a French kiss? Now because he didn’t react, not because you think you moved too fast but because you slipped some tongue and that makes you a Scarlet Letter?

Geez bernice, calm down and get over yourself. Just admit you kissed a boy and you liked it. The only person giving you a hard time is you.

Is Berneice bipolar?

Nobody knows what you’re saying.

Oh my. I don’t know what Salacious Soubrette or Inveigling Sybarite are. Well, now you see why she is snarky. She knows words most people don’t. As if she thinks WE ought to know. Anyway, Bernice, you are overdramatic. Nil is a nice guy who uses the same vocabulary you use. He probably even enjoy the kiss. You are upset with YOURSELF, not Nil. You were not overcome. You naturally responded to Nil’s remarks that he likes you and enjoyed your intellectual debate about art. How often do you meet guys like him? Rarely. Forget Jack. He is too average and wouldn’t know the words you just used. If you were overcome, a temptress, a floozie, you would have kissed JACK when he was in your bedroom but you did not. Because there is no chemistry. Like Piro. Jack is friend-zoned. Nil is the guy.

No one is thinking that Bernice, no one can even understand it!

Greg seems to be channeling Brooke McEldowney at this point. Hysterical flinging of the thesaurus. Since this shows no sign of wrapping up tomorrow I guess we’re stuck with another week of the strips least favorite brunette.

Hey Bernice just admit you kissed a boy and it was steamy hot with lust and passion.

Frank is the only one who gets lucky on a regular basis. Nancy is an aggressive dragon lady in bed. Year after year the rest of the cast only does little mating dances around the panels.

Nah, he’s back at his place fantasizing that you’re a lascivious libertine.

No one thinks about you at all actually.

That’s true, Nancy. Mainly because no one knows what that is.. At least I hope they wouldn’t….

This is why a lot of colleges are dropping the SAT.

Bernice, he probably doesn’t even know what those words mean.

Bernice has probably lost about 5 pounds with all that pacing and waving around she has been doing.

“inveigling sybarite”, i.e.: “coaxing libertine"

Even going from $10 words to $2 words, I’m sure no one would think that either.

Bernice has issues

OK, so right now I want to see “snarky Bernice” (wherever she went) return with this 1908 Edition Oxford Dictionary vocab, and issue a blistering train of snarks that only she understands. That would be fun.

Bern – No one thinks that because they don’t know what you just said.

Why am I picturing greg just at his computer looking up the Google search analytics for sybarite and soubrette… seeing if they spike today, lol

Yeah, Bernice. Don’t flatter yourself.

Luanne’s mom should just put her arm around Bernice and say

“You are wonderful, you did great, Nil is so much more than you give him credit for”

Bernice is intollerable

Note to self: Look up “soubrette” tomorrow.

Wow！I’ve learned three new words in a single strip.

Bernice is separated from how to respond to her true feelings, always mucking romance completely up. I think Nil, in his “dark”(ness) is truly taken with Bernice, likes her brain, is very attracted to her nattering nabobism, and thus Bernice is far more attracted than she consciously realizes. This may be part of romance and a journey to herself. I think this is meant to have legs. Of course hilarity ensues in the midst of all of it.

I think that.

Isn’t this Bernice, the party animal?! She’s had two steady boyfriends and her relationship with Zane was serious enough for her to consider herself engaged. The earlier guy (forget his name) was a bad-ass and hid drugs in her locker. She’s had a man (Piro) spend the night in her room – OK she was in Tiff’s room but it’s still against the rules. She has dated Aaron Hill and Gunther and seriously snogged the latter (and probably shared a few kisses with Aaron too). She’s been thrown out of a New York nightclub. Not quite a scarlet woman, but no shrinking violet either. Why the huge fuss over a goodnight kiss, even with a touch of tongue?

What’s with all the college words?

So good there’s Nancy to take Bernice back to the reality. I’m sure Luann would be less terrified by Bernice’s mental processes, but probably Nancy has more possibilities to be believed by her. Go Bernice, scream out all your fear! She still think low about Nil… but her heart has chosen another option♡.

Don’t go to Sibari (today Sybaris) if you are looking for salacious soubrettes, you will be disappointed.

Shouldn’t she be talking to her own mother about this?

I went read some Luann from 2010 and Bernice was rude and obnoxious and insulting to Luann even then. In real life Luann would not have kept her as a friend. Her “enemy” Tiffany treated her better

Certainly seems Bernice has been studying the terminology for various personality assessments.

Panel 3: “Let me know when you’ve got something truly naughty and scandalous to tell me!”

…SLAP!…”Snap out of it!”

…because very few people know what on earth you’re talking about without a dictionary.

A shameless hussy! Wait. That’s a buncha shame right there.

More issues than a newsstand, that lassie.

Oh my goodness. The horror of it all…

Why hasn’t somebody smacked her already?

Perhaps Bernice should have gone into drama instead of Luann!

No Bernice, you’re simply a neurotic ninny(ite)

Here’s a pair of pliers, Bernice. Get a grip.

…because few people even know the words.

Nil, wherever you are, run my boy, run.

How shocked Bernice will be when the previously shy, introverted Nil shows up dressed only in a loin cloth ready to be inveigled by this confused, yet sybaritic minx! Ho Ho! Will she act on his expectations? Stand by, for this may take another week to reveal!

Guys, don’t you think, Bernice remembered Jack?

Not to mention a presumptuous prig.

The term is “plain nuts”…..

Bernice, it’s okay. You’re not a bad person. You’re in love.

Does Nil know what “inveigling”, “sybarite”, and “soubrette” mean?

Did he not inveigle her? He was the one that won her over with praise and flattery. She did not flatter him but criticized him to the point she felt the need to apologize.

Great, and funny, strip today, Greg!

Yeah ’cause everyone else uses 10 cent words not 75 cent words.

a watery tart?a moistened bink ?

a floozie who swallowed a thesaurus?

Bernice needs to sit back down, looks like she’s doing an act on stage.

Check please!

“Inveigling”? Never! But a brazen hussy? A Jezebel ? A slattern? A shameless strumpet? Verily!

Where does she even get all these strange outdated words?! All those books she’s always reading must be from the eighteenth or nineteenth century. Bless her heart!

That’s exactly what I was thinking – and sibilant too!

Even Nancy is unengaged in the arc by the last panel.

Yeah, bring on more of those dark, slouchy, confusing men! Let’s find one for Luann next, or maybe Tiff.

holy COW she is wound too tight

Look Bernice, you screwed up. Now you’ll have to deal with public opinion, just like everyone else when they do something impulsive. Sometimes it’s regarded as fresh and spontaneous, sometimes as reckless and ill-advised, but it’s not going away. so go out, get drunk, and do something really stupid.

It’s amazing that there are those that wish to “help” and give advice to a fictional comic strip character…

So tedious

Bernice is a regular thesaurus of self-deprecation

She’s coo coo for Cocoa Puffs. And don’t make me have to read a dictionary for a comic strip.

And I’m referring to Evans, not you Mordock.

Ok lets move on now. Enough dragging this story line out move on. LOL.

Neither is she a DRIGGLE-DRAGGLE, or a PUTERELLE. On the other hand she is acting like a FOPDOODLE. Indeed, even a DORBEL. Maybe even a GNASHGAB. we already know she is a GOBERMOUCH and a ZOILIST. She is really starting to be a RAKEFIRE, methinks.

Her self induced hysteria is getting really old.

starting to wonder if G&K are having a mirrored existential crisis at home that is being reflected in Bernice’s escalating emotions….geez!

Bern sounds like Dr. Smith from Lost in Space, insulting the Robot. “You cantankerous clump” “You Rusty Rasputin”. Now “You salacious Soubrette”

Bernice is going to have another dream wherein she will be a Submarine Succubus.

I’m not sure why I have no interest in Bernice’s little freakout over kissing someone. I don’t even dislike her (except when she’s being a crappy friend). This just feels like it’s dragging.

Bernice get over it already!!!!!

Nancy’s right. No one thinks that. What they will think is that you’ve been hit on the head by a falling thesaurus, when in fact it was Karen, your writer. “Salacious soubrette?” Puh-leeze. In any case, Bern, Nil won’t be calling, so don’t worry.

Wow and holy crap! Bernice does not have a grip on life!

Bernice just can’t stop with her snobbinish.

And the way she is dressed, definitely NOT a “Inveigling Sybarite”!

Why luaan why?!@

This story line has gone from not quite believable to outright RIDICULOUS!

how many ways can she say flirtatious sexually obsessed person?

Don’t worry dear, no one but you thinks in anything like those terms.

I’m at the point where I think G&K are just toying with the commentors now.

I might think that. Let me whip out my dictionary and see. Nope, not that dictionary. Hmmm, I’m going to go out on a limb and guess those words have not YET gone all the way through my brain — or even into it.

Nonetheless, an out of control Bernice is bound to be worse than a loose cannon.

I wonder if Bernice learned these words from the erotic book Nancy gave her a few months ago? Bad Nancy, for corrupting Bernice!

Suffering succotash…..

If they were looking for some words for the Spelling Bee in New York…

Thanks for making me look up four words just understand your strip. One thing is sure, you really know how to kill a good thing. If I wanted to improve myself, I wouldn’t be reading comics. Thanks again.

Nancy had better tell Bernice that Frank is allergic to cats before the girl starts stocking up on them.

This reminded me of the Friends TV show…where Joey used the thesaurus to write the adoption letter for Monica and Chandler…on every word.

9

Haha! I suspect Bernice was very accomplished on the verbal portion of her SATs. She has an excellent knowledge of vocabulary!!!!!

To parse together her terms, it seems basically Bernice is feeling she is showing inappropriate interest in sexual matters by acting flirtatious… and that she is trying to engage Nil’s interests through deceptive flattery and showing a fondness for his art.

Even though Bernice’s terms are not commonly recited by many… the worry, the thought, the ideas of doing something inappropriate for a situation, especially a situation that has a sudden, unexpected surge of romance…… such a classic trope in theater, film, and television. I think Greg is really doing an excellent job here in helping us to better understand and know:

1. Bernice, while book smart and typically rule abiding…. is…. deep inside, insecure about her place in the world, and about how to navigate her walk into her adulthood life.

2. And while Bernice is quite wise from an academic perspective…. she is…. just like many of us… nervous about how our actions are perceived by others… especially others we care about.

This is just, IMO, very, very good writing in this arc!!!!

What a vocabulary! Definitely not that of a Raven.““Doubtless,” said I, “what it utters is its only stock and store Caught from some unhappy master whom unmerciful Disaster Followed fast and followed faster till his songs one burden bore— Till the dirges of his Hope that melancholy burden bore Of ‘Never—nevermore’.”"But the lady (Berniece) never sitting, always twitting, could yet end up at “Nevermore”.

Everybody keeps saying that they don’t know what Bernice said, so here’s a translation.

Salacious—worth gossiping about. Juicily lurid.

Soubrette is actually an up-and-coming young opera soprano, and in some circles a compliment, but since such women usually get cast in saucy wench supporting roles (with solos) I guess Bernice thinks it’s an insult.

Inveigling.—conniving, insidious, sly, manipulative. As in Bernice thinks she’s leading Nil astray through her unfair wiles.

Sybarite—one who lives for pleasure and self-indulgence. Based on the people of Sybaris in ancient Greece, known for all of the above. It is said that they had trained their horses to dance to the flute, and so they were defeated in battle, because, knowing this, their enemies started playing dance-tunes on flute and the whole calvary lost control of their horses. Archaeologists used to think that these allegations were a slur, just because the Sybarites had come up with running water in their homes. But then following the plumbing led not to a reservoir but wine-cellar caves—they had running wine on tap!

I just learned 3 new words from that last panel

The Town Bicycle

Xanax on panel 3, STAT!

Because most people don’t know what they mean.

Does anyone else remember Zeke? Bernice and Zeke did a fair amount of kissing. She even wanted to marry him at one time until Luann pointed out that Bern was only 16!

You haven’t joined the Dark Side yet, girl. She’s kinda late to have hr sexuality awaken, isn’t she?

She really is afraid she’s losing self control. She isn’t.

Bern is an inveigling salacious soubretteic sybarite! Soubrettes and Sybarites, Stalactites and Stalagmites, Stagmites and Stacktights, which point up, and which point down?

Bern’s problem is not that she knows those expressions.

It’s not even that she uses them.

It’s that she considers them insults. :s

Hello, Bern? It’s the 21st century calling, long-distance… :)

No, not that. Drama queen maybe, but not that.

Okay. We got it. Now, we need to know what Nil is thinking/doing. (Keep it clean; this is a family strip.)

Bern has an impressive Vocabulary when it comes to accusing herself of being a Pron Actress.

Does she have some Fantasies we need to know More about?

“A what what ?” Zac on Big Bang talking to Amy Farrah Fowler, who is a Sit-Com version on Bern.

Least of all Nil. I don’t get the impression that fancy Addison and Steele diction is his style. It’s a little hard to tell what his style is, actually.

Neurotic ninnny? Narcissistic nitwit?

we have to realize that this whole week essentially covers ~ 10 minutes of conversation between Bern and Nancy. If you think of it that way then Bern’s compulsive response (to kissing Nil and his seeming rejection) is really just momentary. Tomorrow it either comes to a head (more so) or gets nipped in the bud.

Time to call the mental health crisis center, girl’s having a panic attack. I know she’s always been uptight as hell, but I didn’t think she’d go off the deep end over something this trivial. Especially considering the way she’s been simping over Jack.

All I can say about this week’s episodes are -

Check out today’s Bizarro over at Comics Kingdom!

SPIGGY!

Especially since no one knows what those things are…

The kiss was in response to his telling her the nicest thing she had ever been told about herself. It was a completely genuine and natural demonstration of how much she appreciated the compliment. It meant nothing else, but now she’s afraid she has led him on. She should just tell him what I just said, honesty makes things nice & simple.

Definitely had to Google those last two words that began with the letter “S”

Bernice has about 40 year’s worth of Mickey Bach’s Word-A-Day cartoons saved up just for this occasion.

Oh, Nancy.

Do allow Bernie to wallow in her bloviating self-pity! Only when she has drowned herself in it will she become ready to be revived….

I wouldn’t be surprised if Nil knows what those words mean. ;-) So, Bernice is a) flipping out over loss of control and b) she cares what Nil thinks. Interesting, since she never gave a toss about him before and it was like a teeth-gritting duty to go to his show. Who knows how she will resolve this—it’s all been pretty juvenile so far so I would guess more of the same. Bored now, let’s go check in on Nil and see what he’s thinking. I bet it’s something like, “Wow, that kiss did absolutely nothing for me. Kissing is disgusting, anyway. She got the wrong idea, she must think I’m into her body. I’m going to have to figure out how to let her down gently.”

He’ll think you’re a LOONEY!

Because most people don’t even know what those words mean, even when used in a sentence.